Irit had said there was something different about Tama lately...other than his full grown mane, anyways. She said he'd been more honestly cheerful. Honestly...Tama didn't notice a difference. Other than the fact he rather liked helping Muscail out. And he loved being around her cubs. They were a rather sweet bunch. He was actually headed to where the pale lioness had been denning, a rather intriguing flower carefully clutched in his maw.
Muscail gave homage to the moon, he knew, and the flower so resembled the pale grays and white that the moon reflected. He was humming something aimless until he got close enough to voice a greeting. "Heyla, Muscail!"
Múscail's ears perked as she heard the soft padding of Tama's feet, and a huge smile spread over her face. Since he'd begun helping her out, she'd gained back the weight and had become the same well-groomed lioness she'd been before Unguzo had come. It was somewhat nostalgic. The male had even grown before her eyes. She'd gotten to watch as the rest of his mane grew in... She could only imagine how it would feel when she was watching the manes of her own boys grow in.
He padded over to the lioness and placed the flower down. "I was out with Irit earlier...and I found this flower." He chuckled. "Not sure what it's called...but it reminds me of the moon, so...I thought you might like it?" He was a little embarrassed, but nothing too bad. Tama had just never done something like this before, not for anyone besides his adoptive mother.
"It's beautiful Tama," Múscail said, smiling and taking the flower. After a long moment, she tucked it behind one ear and grinned at the lion before her. "You've grown a lot since we met..."
Tama nodded, standing a little more proudly. "I'm taller than Narci now! Not bigger...but definitely taller!" Tama was a little more long-legged than average...and though he LOOKED a little more delicate, there was nothing delicate about him when he chose to be dangerous. "And my mane's finally come together...no more cold neck at night!"
"Well aren't you lucky! I still have to deal with a cold neck at night," Múscail teased, laughing and idly laying in the warm grass of the savannah.
Tama chuckled and moved to lay beside her. "Well...maybe you just need some company?" He wouldn't mind helping keep her warm. Her and the cubs. He was finding imagining life without them harder and harder...and he was finding it a little harder to let go. Even though he KNEW she would have to leave one day...
"Now what if Ia'eh heard you speaking like that? She might accuse you of trying to steal me away," Múscail replied, purring and nuzzling up against Tama's side.
The fur across Tama's nose tinged pink, but he smiled kindly still. "I wouldn't dream of it...I would never take her precious mother from her." He feared making them hurt as much as Ia'eh's eventual, inevitable revenge. "You all...I don't want to make any of you sad. Especially not you."
"Well you're lucky then. You've made us all very happy. I'm not sure what I'd do without you, Tama," Múscail said, the skin of her nose pinkening as well. Although it was harder to notice under her slate-colored fur.
He grinned and nuzzled her neck a bit. "I'm glad. Seeing you all happy makes me happy." Perhaps he had changed like Irit said. But...well, he didn't mind the change than. "I don't think I've had a sour mood since you and the cubs stalked into my life."
"I suppose we can both be happy together. Maybe once Ia'eh and the boys grow up, we can have cubs of our own," Múscail said softly, smiling and nuzzling Tama back.
He blinked at that, then nodded. "Yeah...that...that would be nice." Their own cubs...by blood. Because even though Ia'eh and the boys weren't HIS...he still watched over them and played with them as if they were his own. But his own little ones, with traces of him in them...that would be nice. That would be very nice...
"You don't sound so sure of yourself, Tama," Múscail said after a long moment, glancing at the lion next to her uncertainly.
Tama sighed and his ears lay a little flat. "I just..." He looked at her sadly. "What if...what if my heart isn't really in it? You deserve better than that." He lay his chin on his paws. "I've lived for others so long...what if I'm not capable of...of being genuine?"
"How will you ever know if you don't try? You've helped me so much with Ia'eh and the others... How can you even think for a moment that your heart isn't truly in it?" Múscail asked sadly, her face falling.
"I just..." Well, there went every little bit of good mood. "HOW do we know, though? Are there signs? Hints?" The white lion stood up, trying to not work himself into a panic.
"You're trying to make this more complicated than it really is. You just know. It's as simple as that," Múscail sighed, looking at Tama with a sad smile. If he was doubting himself... Perhaps his heart wasn't in it.
"Not everything is simple, Muscail..." He'd learned that from Narci and Irit. "There's shades of gray between black and white." That was it...he couldn't take it anymore! He'd just come out and say it and then go! Before either of them did something stupid that would only end in more pain than he was sure he was about to cause. Oh...he didn't want to cause this, but better a little pain that would heal than a festering wound. "You deserve so much more than someone who can't even try to live for himself." And he took off. He did the right thing...right? She would be leaving soon, and he wasn't sure, and it was better if it ended now...right?
The second she saw his back turned on her, Múscail's heart broke. It was then that she decided tonight would be the night she'd leave here. She couldn't rely on Tama anymore, and she was in good enough healt to hunt for her cubs now...
