[ PRP ] Blinded by Fear [ Kureno x Evelyn]

[Upside.-.Down]

Left... right... left... right...

Evelyn moved slowly through the woods, her wraith-like form quivering with every step. Her heart fluttered in her rib cage like a nervous bird. She stepped carefully, as though each falling hoof left her teetering on the brink of despair, scarce daring to breath lest she bring it down upon her.

The ashen dragon stirred lazily, shooting a fierce gaze at the trembling mare. "Where do you think you're going, precious?" She bore her teeth in a grim parody of a friendly smile, vicious fangs gleaming in the moonlight.

"I... I-..." the dappled-grey mare's mottled hooves were covered in a thin layer of grime, testament to the lengths she had gone to in hopes of escaping her cruel captor.

The draconic mare's tail cracked like a whip through the air, merciless barbed tip slicing with murderous intent through the bushes on either side. "I... I-" she mocked, husky voice dripping with sarcasm. "Back with you." She lunged.

Evelyn stumbled over a broken log. Her frail limbs, unable to support her weight at the jolting movement, collapsed, and she went crashing to the ground.

"Eat. Rest." her feral gaze stripped the dappled mare of all dignity. "And wash yourself. Your coat looks.... dirty." She sneered, nose curling in disgust. "You don't want me to grow tired of you... Do you?"

Her meaning was clear enough.

She had been fed daily rations of shriveled grass and murky cave water, and if she was good an apple or two... it was not enough. Nourishment, yes. Enough to keep her coat in good shape, but no where near its former glossy finish. Enough to keep her alive. Just... enough.

She struggled to banish the swirling fantasies, the memories. She clung to one in particular... the hazy image of a sun-baked stallion, coat the color of fresh earth kissed by a summer's sun...

Anxiety seized her throat as she struggled to her feet. She had to keep moving. She couldn't go back. Not again. Not...

Left. Left. LEFT!

Just... move.

 

[Kyaishi]

He hadn't counted the hours since he had last seen her. Or rather, once he had noticed that it had been hours, his only attention was focused on finding her, on bringing her back, not concerned with the passage of time.

But hours had turned into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. And there was still no sign.

Concern and worry were foreign to him, so he focused on anger. Anger at whatever had detained her, be it intentional or not, it was still preventing her return. Anger at her, although it was more subdued- at her inability to keep herself safe. Anger at himself, for allowing this to affect him so, and at the foolish decision to let her leave them unguarded.

It was irrational and illogical, but it kept him from admitting to the one emotion he felt taking up residence where it was not supposed to be. Kureno did not fear. Not for himself, not for his kin, and not for a mare.

Bitterness was familiar to him. He let it numb him, allowing it to push that other god forsaken feeling that WOULD NOT be called fear to the back of his mind and focus on the task at hand. The proudness to his stature had diminished, the brightness of the silver markings on his coat had faded, and the muscle tone that had defined his steady frame had begun to die away.

Feilea had cried. Connor had fumed. Avalee had looked on in confusion and sadness. And Kureno had searched.

The number of times he had looked over this particular area was slowly rising itself to an embarassingly high number. He had barely taken time to eat or sleep, only staying on the ground for a few hours at a time before he was in the air again, fierce cerulean hues scanning the grassy terrain below for some sign, anything, of the mare that had once promised never to give up on him.

He would find her. Connor needed his mother. Fei needed reassurance that he could not give. And Kureno needed closure, if nothing else.

An aggravated snort escaped him as ebony feathered wings flapped harder against the freezing air, rising above the treeline he had been skimming previously. Deep azure irises darted back and forth at the ground below, until they settled on an unmoving form that had not been there in his previous expeditions. Silver and black.

He froze for a moment, barely remembering to resume flapping his wings at the decreased altitude. His thought processes slowed as he fought to comprehend what his mind was showing him for a moment, but then he banished all thoughts and folded his wings, swooping down in what would once be considered a graceful manner- only now appearing as haphazard and clumsy. He would not admit that his own health had suffered.

He stumbled slightly as he landed, though he fought to right himself and pretend it hadn't happened. Slowly, almost unsurely, he approached her at a loping walk.

It was her.

He didn't ask questions. Lowering himself to one knee and draping an onyx wing over her side, he pressed her to him and slowly urged her towards her feet, voice ringing out gruffly in the still silence.

"Can you stand?"  

[Upside.-.Down]

She flinched away from his touch, eyes jerking open as she fought to control her labored breathing. Lavender eyes stared in horror... then softened. The tension eased from her muscles, and she sank into his embrace.

"... Kureno..." her cracked voice was dry and husky, lacking its usual melodic cadence. She peered wistfully upwards at him, her mind slowly coming to terms with the solidity of his presence.

How often had she dreamed of him? What long hours had she spent restlessly pacing in the confines of her rocky prison, formulating plan after failed plan? What anguish, what hope had she suffered while her mind wandered freely, given reign by her desperate desire to be anywhere but here?

Now that he was here... was it over? Could it be over? Could she...?

Be free?

Adelinda paused, her grim countenance accentuated by the subtle twitching of her left eye. "Waif. Stray. Ethereal beauty." Her jaws snapped shut inches from Evelyn's face. "With your luscious mane that flutters gently in the breeze... and those eyes. Those lavender eyes." Contempt warred with adoration in her grating tone.

"You will remain, forever mine."

Her legs spasmed as she struggled to stand, needing his strength. His presence. Just... just him being there was enough.

She glanced down, defeated. They had never needed words to communicate before... but... but now?

She gazed distantly into those cerulean orbs, loosing herself in his stare for a scant few breaths.

A burlesque laugh echoed throughout the forest, seeming to bounce off every limb and come hurtling at her threefold. The sound of deadly talons scraping the bark off of the trees. Closer. Closer. Beating wings. Swirling. Tumbling. Madness.

Closer.

"Found you."

"... Yes."

She hated herself. Hated herself for loosing him. For loosing control. Why had she strayed so far from their home? Imagining the look on that little filly's face, a bright smile warming her to the very core as she looked upon a collection of sparkling gems and precious flowers... Lost in her fantasy, too far gone to hear the clatter of approaching hooves.

Never again.

Never again would she leave his side.

Never. Ever. Never...

Unless he bid her go.

"We... she'll be back." her trembling whisper was urgent, those lavender eyes filled with fear when she cast her sullen gaze upon him. "She'll be back."
 

[Kyaishi]

Conversing had never been something Kureno was good at. The words he spoke were few and far between, and most of the time in a gruff or unfeeling manner. With Evelyn, however, words never seemed to be needed. He read her as easily as she read him- although he wasn't sure if he would ever understand how she could read him. They could speak entire conversations without saying a word, and now her eyes were speaking something to him that he fought to understand.

He saw horror. Fear. Shame. Things that did not belong in the depths of amethyst that spoke of so much. The mention of 'she' brought something out in him that he had not felt in a long while.

Rage. Fury. Hatred. She had not said much, but she didn't need to. He could gather that this 'she' was the reason that Eve had not returned. The reason that she could barely stand. The reason that Connor and Feilea had worried themselves sick in her absence. Withered muscles tensed with strain as he turned his infuriated gaze to the path behind her, oceanic eyes narrowing into slits as he spoke in a low, dangerous tone.

"Then she will die."

Though his body was weak with strain, heavy beneath her slight weight, his frame was practically vibrating with anticipation of a fight, the need to tear into something and finally assauge the buildup of anger that had accumulated over the past months. The bitterness had abated somewhat at hearing that her absence had been something out of her control, that she was not to blame and it had not been her choice to leave the rest of them wondering, but it was quickly replaced with a familiar bloodlust that had once been the only excitement in his life.

Fighting was something he knew. It had once been what he'd lived for. And, in some ways, he even missed it.

His ears were perked as he focused his vision on the landscape behind her, watching, waiting, almost hoping for the form of whatever it was to appear on the horizon. He would not leave Evelyn unprotected to go search for 'her' himself, but if 'she' dared approach... he would tear her apart.

Ignoring the slight bit of disappointment when nothing failed to appear, he glanced down to meet the silvery mare's gaze once again, taking note of her weakened, frail form, the faded coat. Slowly, almost gently, he helped her stand, though with less strength than he was previously able. His gaze returned to the path before them as he took a first step, urging her on with his wing.

"Connor is waiting." He could think of nothing to offer her except the reassurance that her son was all right, although it felt somehow inadequate. He almost hesitated before asking, "Will you be all right?" although it was a mutter.  

[Upside.-.Down]

She could feel the air vibrating with the tension emitting from his taut form. Her skin prickled as the muscles coiling beneath his tawny skin bunched; she shivered as fury churned his confident statement into an eminent threat.

She wove in and out of consciousness, lost in thought... lost in time.

Images flashed before her clouded eyes, vision skewed by far too many days spent underground. The murky cavern light did little to help matters; it simply enabled her to drift further into nothingness.

A mare. Bad. Harsh. Leering. Cruel.

Eat.

A stallion. Good. Pure. Comforting.

Another... different, separate, yet one. Similar. Son. Comfort.

Eat.

Mare. Danger. Hide. Cower.

Remember.

Her eyes shone with concern, brow furrowed for a brief instant before it smoothed once more.

Blood seeped from multiple wounds as the sun-kissed stallion stumbled along, determined to stand, determined to fight on. Soot-black feathers littered the ground beneath his feet, crimson droplets of blood marking his passage.

To see him so...

She gasped, the sharp intake of breath causing her hooves to skitter nervously on the uneven ground.

To see him drenched in his own blood again... To be the cause...

She couldn't survive that. Not that. Not him. Not Kureno.

For could he win? Against talon, fang, claw? Vicious, cruel, barbarous murderess? Oh, he might hold his own... for a while. But had he the stamina to hold out? Was he even capable of the monstrous malicious malevolence that was necessary to take down one such as her?

The sun would not rise on a day of that battle. Not if she had anything to say about it. Not if...

Connor.

A small smile curved Evelyn's lips upwards, sultry innocence shining from her lavender eyes as she remembered her son for the first time since Kureno's presence had breathed meaning back into her empty life. Oh, how her noble son would fume, caught between the need to strangle her and the desire to be at her side when he saw her stumbling along beside the one she loved above all others.

It was good to be back.

"I will survive." She nuzzled him softly, the gesture throwing her off balance. She weaved, wobbled, and regained her footing.

She continued on, at his side. Forever at his side.
 

[Kyaishi]

He could feel the trembles, the shivers that she fought to suppress- whether from her condition or the onslaught of memories he could see plainly through the shining pools of lavender, he did not know. Though, if he were honest, he would have preferred the former.

He could not protect her from memories. But he would make the tormentor suffer.

He felt her stumble, felt the weakened muscles give way under strain and months of unuse, and his half-embrace tightened fractionally as he braced his own weight beneath hers, hauling her up more securely against him. He could not simply carry her, much as that thought angered him, but he would be damned if he didn't support her when she needed it, needed him for once.

He never was able to offer much of anything. A confidante, perhaps, a somewhat caring friend of course, but as a protector? It was blatantly obvious that he had failed in his duties at thus- she wouldn't be struggling to walk, struggling to forget, had he simply done his job.

An angry growl rose in his throat at the thought.

It would not happen again.

Blue irises darted back to settle upon her in his peripheral vision as a warm touch was felt upon his face, and for a moment they softened into the familiar look that he would only give to her and her son. No... failure was not an option. Their faith in him must be justified, and their offenders punished- he would make sure of this himself.

The wing at his side that was not carrying her weight sagged with something akin to relief as the terrain became more familiar, the trees more sparse as they stepped into a clearing. The scents on the wind were comforting- he knew Connor and Feilea were there, and for once, he had something to show for his efforts.

He had not dared to set foot in this place without the constant reminder of why they had left to begin with. Connor, he had regular contact with- if only to report where he had searched and verify that the younger stallion had not found anything in his travels either. It was almost painful, returning day after day with no news, nothing to reassure him with, so his more recent excursions lasted far longer and became more intense. He knew that Connor did not blame him, but he wondered if Connor knew that he blamed himself.

Fei was another story.

The young mare rarely spoke, and although she vyed for his attention, he studiously focused on finding Evelyn, ignoring her development into the adult mare that she was now. He would not regret his neglect of her- it was more important to find Eve, after all- but he wondered how different she might have been if the silvery mare had been there as a mother as she had once promised.

There was no use in wondering about it now.

Lifting his head, he scanned the area as his tense muscles relaxed slightly, ears perking forward in search of a response as his own low voice broke the silence of the still clearing.

"Connor."  

[Upside.-.Down]

Connor emerged from behind a tree, his nostrils flared. He could feel his blood pounding in his veins, feel the adrenaline course through his body as he dared to hope. Maybe today... Maybe today she will return. Maybe he's found her. Maybe he's succeeded where I have failed. Maybe...

He stopped, frozen in his tracks. His heart skipped a beat.

She's here.

The joy that welled up inside him and threatened to burst forth in a dazzling expression of celebratory elation was cut short by sudden anger. She moved as one broken, her usual grace warped into a crude, lumbering, awkward limp. Her lustrous coat was faded, dull. Even her eyes... even they were changed. Tainted. Sullied. Corrupt.

The stoic mask he had tended so carefully, concealing his every emotion, refusing to let his face betray his innermost thoughts, shattered for the second time in his young life. His expression twisted, handsome face contorted by rage that burned from his very core.

His lavender eyes were stern, resolute. They flashed like molten lava as he stalked forwards, his movements holding the obscure savagery of a predator's smooth gait.

"Who?"

Evelyn sighed, content at last. The two she loved above all others... those whom she would die for in an instant, those for whom she would sacrifice everything and still give more... Together again.

She had seen the joy flash through her son's eyes. Seen it transformed into an expression of molten rage in a second's time. Seen it, and done the only thing she could thing of doing to divert his attention: she smiled.

It was like the dawn of a new day, touched by the gentle frost of passing night. It spread across her face like wildfire, lighting everything it touched and melting it all into a look of tender passion.

"Connor."

Her voice was a soft, sighing caress. But he could still hear the pain. The anguish. The suppressed exhaustion that threatened to bring her to her knees even know.

"Mother..." He couldn't resist. He could never resist.

He nuzzled her with utmost care, gently stroking her side with his muzzle as he came up alongside her. He turned, solid strength giving fresh support to her weary frame.

What long hours had he galloped across the land, hurtling across fallen logs and crashing through raging rivers, shouting desperately for a sign- any sign- of his beloved mother? How often had he dragged himself wearily back, defeated, exhausted by his exertions, only to have all hope crushed by a gentle shake of Kureno's noble head?

He had ate, but only to keep up his strength. He had slept, but only so he could begin his frenzied search at first light.

He had waited. Hoping.

And now that she had returned, now that he had seen her mangled coat and all the evidence of long neglect, all he could think about was revenge.

She could not keep up that dazzling smile. Her mouth lapsed into neutral, her eyes faded to their natural vibrancy- only slightly dull, now that she had them around her.

She blinked as the image of a tawny filly burst into her mind. The reason for it all... she had not thought of the little mare since... since she had gone off to search for a pretty trinket to bring joy to those pearly eyes. Odd... did she not love the girl? Had she not treated her with all the tenderness of a mother, nurturing her, caring for her as though she had birthed her?

"... Where is Feilyn?"

 

[Kyaishi]

As his eyes shifted slowly from the limp form of the mare at his side, his gaze came to rest upon the slightly haggard form of the stallion that he had once looked upon with the affection of a father for a son. What did Connor think of him now, now that he had so completely and utterly failed in his duty? A protector looked after his charges. Always made sure they were safe. Never left them unguarded.

And they most definitely did not return with the pale, ragged form of one of their charges.

He was unable to meet the familiar lavender gaze that sought his own- Connor's or Evelyn's- instead focusing on the ground beneath his hooves. She would recover- he would see to that- and then he would hunt down the despicable creature that did this. Cerulean irises hardened into steel at the thought, iron resolve reconstructing itself from where it had crumbled at Eve's disappearance.

He had meant it when he said she would die.

His ears perked forward at the mention of his daughter, and his vision lifted from the dirt as softer footsteps approached from the clearing behind Connor. At the very least, she could have some solace knowing that her mother-figure had returned, even if he knew what she wanted was something that he could never give her.

Soft golden eyes hidden behind a veil of ebony forelocks darted about the small forest clearing, hesitant footfalls her only announcement of her presence as she laid eyes upon her father. A tiny smile flitted across her features at the sight of him returned, safe, though she knew he would not acknowledge her.

Connor had been a source of strength where there was none, although she suspected he knew she was envious of the close relationship he had with her father. She wanted love and acceptance, and he seemed to have possession of those in abundance. With as kind as he was to her, however, she could not harbor any ill will towards him.

When her gaze fell upon the crumpled silvery form at her father's side, however, partially hidden by a protective wing draped over her back, her eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

She only had vague recollections of this mare from when she was a foal, although they were all of kindness, of a gentle smile and soft reassurances. Eve had been the mother that Feilea had wished she'd known, but she could not help but feel betrayed when that mother had simply vanished, taking with her all of the hopes she had for her father's care, and her own happiness.

Where had she gone?

A voice, soft and barely used, lifted from beneath soft tendrils of onyx, stepping forward in trepidation and wonder and shock as she confirmed to herself that yes- this really was that same mare, although looking far more worn and beaten than she should have been.

"E-... Evelyn?"

She looked to Connor for support, since she knew that her father would offer her none, gaze almost pleading beneath the curtain of her braided forelocks. Pleading for what, she knew not... but for something.

Kureno did not lift his head as Feilea joined them, did not meet her searching gaze, although he could feel it linger on him before falling to the petite form at his side. He knew that Fei had wanted his guidance, his care and love, but he could not offer those things while Evelyn was away. He knew she knew that, but he also knew that it did not lessen her hurt, her desire to be recognized.

Could Eve provide those things, now that she could influence her life again? Or was it too late, with Fei already grown and matured, for her to make a difference?  

[Upside.-.Down]

Connor looked up, meeting the gaze of the timid mare. His head dipped in a slight, barely perceptible nod, silently answering the question that lingered in her amber eyes.

Evelyn frowned, staring at the mare before her. Feilyn? No... no, that wasn't right. She closed her eyes, imagining the tawny basket with its occult markings so like those of its father, the little foal popping its head up with a good-natured smile, that long ebony mane... those cream-hued wings fluttering gently at her side...

"Feilea." She murmured, a soft smile spreading over her features before melting away into her previously dismal expression. She opened her eyes.

Connor glanced briefly at his mother. Ah, so she remembers her name.

He started, shocked at the sarcastic thought. It was surprisingly petty. He blinked, rather taken aback, and then shook his head to clear the thought away.

He did not know when they had grown close. Perhaps watching the little foal grow into adulthood, watching her pining after the stallion who could not be her father, had sparked a bond between them. Perhaps it was their mutual hero-worship, their almost fanatical respect, for the earthen-hued stallion. Perhaps it was the way she lingered on, refusing to give up hope, refusing to admit defeat even when Kureno did not seem to realize she was even there.

Evelyn traced the mare's silhouette with her kind lavender eyes. Could this even be the same filly she had known so briefly before their little family had been torn apart?

She had grown well. Her silken ebony tresses fell now to her chest. Side swept bangs partially obscured stunning amber eyes. The crimson ribbon tied around her right foreleg was in good condition; it had not been sullied by the passage of time. Her figure was dainty, a feminine version of her father's toned countenance.

What words could span the distance that now lay between them?

Connor slid smoothly back behind his stoic mask, carefully arranging his features into an impeccably motionless, blank caste.

They had not answered his question. Who? Who had kept his mother apart for so long? What had ripped her from his side? And why?

... what did it matter? She was home now.

Ah, but it did. He would not forget. He would whittle the story out of, her piece by piece. And some day, when he had matched the face to the deed, he would seek his revenge. For all the time lost. For all the hours, days, weeks... months.

For the mother who held a special place in his heart.

He glanced at Feilea, at her stricken expression.

For the mother she never knew.

Evelyn stepped carefully out from between her two solid supporters, standing alone in plain sight. She did not move a muscle; she didn't know if she could right herself, were she to fall again.

"I..." she licked her dry lips, tried again. "Forgive me... My desertion of you..." she glanced at Kureno, at Connor, though she directed her speech at the filly she had grown to love in such a short time. "... was not of my choosing. Had I been able... I would have come back to you."

She drew a deep, shaky breath.

"I wish... I wish to start again." She peered at the mare imploringly, searching her gaze for any signs of acceptance. "I wish to... get to know you. As you are now. To..."

Her knees crumpled; the speech was too much for her. Too much, too great an exertion after such a long journey. Her lungs, filled with cave dust, couldn't take it.

Connor lunged, hitting the ground before her. He knelt there, his strong back keeping her propped upright. Her eyelids fluttered, but she remained conscious.

He never took his eyes off Feilea.

For all the love she might have had... if only Evelyn had been there to warm Kureno's heart.

 

[Kyaishi]

Kureno twitched visibly at the effort it took not to immediately kneel by her side when she fell. He could see that Connor had things under control, and tried to take solace in the fact that she was here now, safe under his protection again, and that the healing process could finally begin, for more than one of them.

His eyes lifted to his daughter at Evelyn's soft words, silently appraising as he awaited her reaction. He knew that she harbored some sort of distant love for the mother she would have had, but he had no idea how far beneath mountains of resentment, or even hatred, that it was buried. It was amazing, he thought... that with all the care and love that Eve could have given her, and the inability for him to show her any of those things, that she could want his approval so much more.

He knew what it was like to grow up without a parent, to resent their absence, to blame their own shortcomings and problems on the one that wasn't there. He had never fully accepted his father, though he knew that his mother wanted him to... but it just wasn't possible. Would Feilea react the same way?

Feilea didn't know what to feel.

Her thoughts were a maelstrom of chaotic emotions and stray words, golden hues darting restlessly between the three figures as she struggled to understand what was happening, and how to react to it. They lingered on Connor the longest, shining with a sort of helplessness that she knew he'd only seen a few times prior, and she was quick to lower her gaze again.

She had always accepted her fate with a sort of resigned determination- she knew her father didn't love her, but she would work to prove that she was worthy of it. Now, though... when faced with the undeniable reason for Kureno's distance... could she really forgive her so easily? If she had stayed, perhaps they could have shared in her father's love, as Connor had... but when Evelyn had gone missing, it was clear that his heart was only for her. Fei had never been given a second thought.

If she could not forgive her, though... would she lose Connor? The thought was accentuated with a clearly visible cringe of inner pain- she wouldn't be able to handle that. He was her source of stability, her support of where her father should have been. Evelyn was his mother, and she knew he loved her with the same intensity that Kureno did, if not more. So... did she even have a place among them? Her heart was plagued with a bitterness that she did not know would ever go away, even if she knew that Eve was innocent.

Unbidden, a single tear fell from one golden eye.

She was ashamed- Fei had never cried in front of her father or Connor before, even as a child. She knew Kureno would see it as a sign of weakness and another reason to shun her, and Connor... well, she didn't know. The only time she had ever given into her tears was when she was in private, far away from prying eyes and condescending words.

She wanted to be angry. She wanted Evelyn to have a taste of how it felt to be the one who was always in the shadows, always longing for a love that she knew would never be hers. How could she say she wanted to know her now, when the time for reconciliation was long past? What could it possibly accomplish now, when nothing could be changed or taken back? She wanted to be angry, to vent her rage and bitterness at the unfairness of it all, to give her pain, her burden to someone else for a change... but she couldn't. Not at the cost of both Connor and Kureno.

But she couldn't forgive her. Not now. Maybe... maybe someday, when her heart had been healed of its scars, or at least given closure from its strife, but whether Eve would actually be around that long, or willing to try that hard, was something that Feilea doubted.

"I..." her voice pierced the still atmosphere, breaking at the single syllable before she regained control, allowing another tear to break from her defenses as she lowered her burning eyes. She couldn't bear to see the disappointment, the condemnation, the hatred that she was so sure would be directed at her from Connor. Her father's, she had been dealing with her whole life, but his... it was too much. "I can't... not now... I'm sorry."

Unable to bear their combined gazes any longer, Feilea turned on her heel and fled.