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The Way Through Wonderland [Title not Final]

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How do you like it so far?
  I like it, continue!
  It sucks! (Me- Q.Q)
  Meh... >.>
  You have no originality (Me- At least there aren't vampires.. >.>;)
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Rylipop

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:14 pm
Well, in art class we have to make painting books about color, and for a theme we're supposed to come up with something we're passionate about. After much thinking, I decided to do mine with an Alice in Wonderland theme, but then I thought, "That seems rather unoriginal. Maybe I should make it some kind of spin-off with an original storyline..."
Thus, The Way Through Wonderland was created. Please keep in mind that I just sort of thought of this today so it probably won't be any good... >.<;
As usual, the main character is rather dry, and has a personality completely unlike my own, which may make this rather difficult to write...
But, I'll try my best, I hope you enjoy it! ^-^;


Chapter One: An Empty Carnival



Naomi tried to keep from crying out with frustration as she made her way through the thick undergrowth of the Apple Tree Forest. It didn't make sense; she came home from school along the same path every single day, but today, she could not seem to find her home. The air was getting cold and humid as the sun sank down in the sky. She should have been home hours ago, yet here she was, passing the same tree with the same green moss next to the same rock which seemed to be shaped like a frog. Or a cat. A frocat. Either way, she was lost.
She wrapped her thin arms around herself and tried to pull her soft, gray sweater over her hands. Maybe she should just sit down and wait for help; police were bound to come soon. But she remembered something she had seen on television a few years ago-- on Discovery or Animal Planet; something of that sort-- saying that if you get lost, you should try to stay moving. And to never fall asleep. That was when hypothermia could set in.
So, she made the painful decision to continue her horrid journey through the damp woods. The trees glared at her mockingly, and the mosquitos began swarming. She choked back tears. One thought resounded through her skull like a tiny rubber ball in a small room: My parents are going to be worried sick..

~

Naomi did not know how long she had been trudging through the forest now. She only knew that her lungs were getting filled with water in the humid air, and that her bones were aching in every inch of her body. The full moon hung low in the clear sky. Maybe if she waited, Mr. Moonlight would send his fairies to carry her home... she shook her head, trying to drive away her nonsensical thoughts.
She was ready to give up; let exhaustion completely overwhelm her so she could just collapse on the ground and die-- at this point, she did not feel like caring much, anymore.
But then she heard a noise. It seemed quiet, far away, but she heard it. Her heart jumped as she ran as fast as her aching legs could carry her towards the music, which was now growing in volume. It was a cheerful, yet somehow creepy and entirely nostalgic tune. Naomi recognized it as the type of music played at carnivals-- well, not at any carnivals she had ever been to. Nowadays, they always played radio hits and Top 20s remixes. But it was the kind of music they always played in movies; the kind that would always be associated with cotton-candy and popcorn and clowns even if no carnivals ever played the music again.
Finally, after running for what felt like miles, Naomi reached an opening in the trees. She felt like squealing with triumph-- she was finally free of the woods' winding labyrinth of trees.
But then her heart sank. Yes, there was a carnival. As far as she could see, there were rides and food stands and attractions. But that was not what made her turn pale.
The carnival was completely empty.


{To Be Continued}  
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 10:18 am
cool. That's pretty good.  

BB Rue Ryuzaki
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:18 am
An empty carnival. I like that better than Vanity Fare. Very good writing, flowed well, kept my interest, easy read, no major gramar or spelling errors that I noticed. Nothing wrong with it so far.  
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