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Has everyone had that feeling where you just don't know what your sexuality is, and your confused, and its in your mind 24/7 even when your not actually 'thinking' about it?

I know that feeling all to well.

For about a year or a little over I've been fighting myself. The whole 'Am I bi-sexual or not? Do I like guys more than girls, or girls more than guys? Who do I like to be with more? Who would I be sexually attracted too?'

And trust me, it drains you of alot of energy, even though it doesn't seem like it would.

But now, I myself, am happy to say that I'm finally over that. And that I don't have to have a huge strugle to find something I 'fit' under. Its a major relief.

Not to long ago (maybe a month, a little under) I heard my friend say a quote by one of my favorite singers. Bert M from 'The Used' - "Its connection first, gender second."

Well, to me being an ally and everything it made perfect sence. But someone asked what it ment and she explained it to him, mentioning that Bert was a 'pansexual' and I was kind of taken back because I didn't know what a pansexual was. So, she told me what it ment and it made perfect sence.

In simple words it means a person who doesn't care about gender as long as they love their parnter.

Within half a second, I finally understood what I had been looking for all this time. I didn't have to say I was 'bi' or anything because I love both genders, or pick one or the other. I never really cared about what gender I ended up with.

It took me about a good week to get out of the intal shock of it, before it sank in. When it did it just kind of brought this clamness to me. 'I'm a pansexual' I didn't have to worry about all the stuff that I had been doing. And it .... *shakes head, sighs lightly* Wonderful to know what I was once and for all.

Of course the first person I think I told was my onee-san ^^; because I love her like woah. And then I think my friends just picked up on it, I don't remember how I told them. But if it wasn't for my friend saying that she was one and that Bert was one, I would have never known what it was, or that was what I am.

Comments?
Questions?
Anything to add to the discussion?

Please post here.

Wow, congradulations! That does kinna make sence. and yus love is gud! heart whee

But dont forget.. A pansexual also dont care if the person they fall in love is Transgendered. 3nodding

Sure thing. I thought that this would be helpful for you. I know how it is to battle with yourself trying to aruge and find out what you are.

Yeah. I never clamined anything I always called myself 'neurtal'

Hey Schmoo-chn, could you give me the definition of Pan-Sexual please. A PM would be nice.

Thats alright. You were making your point.

My family was pretty normal, me my mom and my dad. My mom was a real b***h, and my dad was always trying to make her happy (I mean, come on, have you ever tried to please an a**l retentive obsessive compulsive 42 year old woman? I still live with her, and I tell you it ain't easy. Everything has to be spotless, she always has to get her way! She won't take any medication, at all!! anyways...) my mother made us move to South Carolina, farther away from our only living American relitives, and into a sweltering hell of a redneck wasteland(no offence). Once we got here, she filed for a divorce, then started bitching about how much trouble it was causing her(YOU filed for the damn thing scream ) And now I live with her, away from my dad, who lives in Florida, and my other relitives, NJ, CA, Austria, and I think AZ. And the only family member who knows I'm gay lives in NJ(my cousin). Wow, my life sucks, but it could be worse! cry Plus, I was in a relationship with my 24 year old step/half-nephew in Austria...He is really, really hot!! 3nodding He's not blood related, so it's okay, I think...other than the underage thing.

Sorry for the angsting, just had to get it out of my system!