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 Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:11 pm
I'm so used to things going badly in my life that if something goes right for once, I practically destroy it myself. I always think, "What's the catch?" ya know? If things go well for too long, I sabotage it, so that I may return to my lonely existence, but I already know that I hate being alone. I can honestly say that I feel uncomfortable in good situations, and I really can't stand that. I only worry about this now because I have a girlfriend. We'll have been dating for three months tomorrow, and she's been amazing. I really like her. She's become an integral part of my life, and I'd hate to have to put her through that.
No one wants to have to deal with that. I can speak on that from personal experience. sweatdrop I've talked to her about about it many times, but I think nothing has really changed. I fear that if I don't get this together soon, then my wish of sabotage just might come true. She tells me not to worry, and that she'll be there for me, but I really don't think I'm used to the fact that I have someone I can count on. And the fact that all my friend and family do are plant negative thoughts in my head really irks me. I can ignore it all I want, but when it gets in there, it get in there. I don't want my relationship to be influenced by people who know NOTHING about it.
Growing up, everyone was out to get you. No one's your friend. Trust no one. I do have friends, but they stay on the surface. My girlfriend has gone deeper than that, and I think I'm fearful of having someone know me so well. I don't want to change just for the sake of her, but to change myself and to make myself a better person.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom they'd like to share?
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Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:59 am
I don't know about wisdom ... But I have that same problem ... every time something is good in my life I always seem to dig at it untill there is a problem.
My advice would be to stop trying to find something ... I'm not saying to ignor things that come up ... just don't go looking for them
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Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:49 pm
I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
Don't be afraid to change...just for her. Maybe she's meant to help you,
change you so that you're better. I understand that you expect things not to be good automatically,
and the whole sabotage thing. Just listen to what your girlfriend tells you, she's probably right. She'll be there... just try to accept that without wanting to go back to before.
Mischief managed.
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:04 pm
What I would've done is this: Try to ignore the middle things that happen. So, then, if something really great happens, you can be happy, but then go back to the norm of your existance. Or put yourself in a situation your comfortable in, after you had been in an odd one.
I've noticed previous people have said that you should try to change something. I'm not saying that. What I'm trying to say is this: Maybe this is a 'bad' situation, because you are finally realising that the things you see as 'bad', and the things you see as 'good' are changing around you. Like, if you are so used to the bad things in life, then there is no way to think of them as bad anymore. Then they become normal. Then, the only way to put you in a bad situation, would to be making you uncomfortable and put you in a good situation.
Everything in life changes, and this is one of them. Hopefully you'll grow accustomed the times that are 'good', and your life will level out.
-Dvn
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Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 4:22 pm
in the future, i advise you to ask for advice about your girlfriend with out telling your girlfriend, or doing it in a place where she can see. it makes her a little nervous to know these things, even if you have told her most of it.
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:37 pm
Let her help you. If you have been so opened with her and she hasn't complained and said that she's there for you trust her. You need someone like that in your life. To undo a bit of what your family and friends have done to you. Try to be happy with her, be honest and you will be ok. ^_^ I'm sure of it.
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