Crazed Art's (Please, feedback)

[Crazed Misfit]

[S]ome of my Art.

 

[Crazed Misfit]

[P]oetry

How to heal a heart:

A hundred smiles, for one tear shed,
A thousand laughs, for every bad name called,
A hundred thousand hugs, for every time hit,
A Million kisses, for every scar,
And one person to make your whole world better
How can a broken heart endure so much?
And still go on?
Because pain, loneliness, happiness, and hate,
are part of the things that make our lives great
Building on the things that we have experienced in the past.
Hiding behind these empty mask,
trying to fin dour place, and always ending up where we began
How are we to find the things that mend such broken hearts?
We cannot truly experience the bliss of happiness until we have experienced sadness, as I continue to search for ways to heal my broken heart.
I await for the day to find that one person, to make everything in my past
Worth while.
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A place I call heaven::

There is a place I know so well
Where angels sing and nothing is gray
A place to spend my days away
In a little place called heaven
Where no one hurts
And pain is gone
Where everything is right; and nothing wrong
In this place called heaven
Of only if only I truly knew
How to reach this place
And escape the troubles of hells gates
How much I would truly love heaven
I'm scared of trying to live my life
Because I do everything wrong; and nothing right
In this world I know as hell
I only wish to find heaven
How so much pain can come in one lifetime is
beyond me
How I can live so long, without breaking down
Is a sight to see
Living each day, like it is my last
is the life for me
Having faith, in a place that I have never seen
may be a decision that will come as a mistake
But to wake into a world with sunshine and rain
Is like a little piece of heaven
If I can only find my love again...
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Seven sins::

Born into the world a sinner
Living my day bathing in the wrongs of the world
And still loving every minute of it
It seems like a perfect fit
Rolling in a endless amount Pride
Clouding my thoughts with Greed and hate
Craving the world the is to big for me
I wish to have the skies and the seas
But I do not wish to be forsaken...
A natural Glutton, I take more then my share;
And more then I need
Without pleasure, there is no pain
Without sacrifices, there is no gain
And with pleasure comes Lust,
How I yearn for it's seductive touch
My craving for a bit of something I must not have
Is great and makes me want it bad
I am one of the forsaken
In a world with all that's good;
Comes the things, that are still bad
My Wrath and resent just drive me mad
When I don't get my way,
Does that make me look sad?
When wrath is absent,
Sloth takes place
Originally the sin of sadness and sorrow
lacking the element of grace
Why must I be forsaken?
In the amount of green and blue
My envy is the one that burns true
For those who have more then I
For those who sing such sweet lullaby's
For those who have beauty beyond my taste
For those with the faces of an angels grace
For those who have the hearts of gold
How I envy them and their perfect souls
And yet...
I am the one who is forsaken.  

[Crazed Misfit]

[T]wilight rewrite. When Edward Left

I stood there, utterly baffled by his words, my mouth hung slightly agape, and I couldn't find the right thing to say. My body stiffened, and I could no longer feel the cold wind that was brushing past us.

"No..." No? My mind was racing with a hundred things I could have said, but no was the only one that found it's way through my lips. "Edward," It was as if my words were pleading with him, out of all the times I wished he could read my thoughts, at this moment, I wished harder then ever before.

"Bella, I don't want you anymore, we could never be, and you know that. It's over." His sweet soothing voice had never sounded as cold as it had just then, and I had never felt my heart beating in my ears with such fury.

"Edward," What was wrong with me! I felt like a child stuck in a rerun of a bad moment in their mind, but the difference between a rerun, and what was happening was this, was real. It felt like I would actually die if he said anything else.

"We can't be together, don't you see." One, "Bella, you're just not right for me, you're just like a walking snack waiting for me to take a bite." Two, "You're not even worth my time." Three...

"I see..." It was like my world shattered, as if something in my heart was growing, like something hit me out of nowhere, it was as if... as if, my whole world had been turned upside down, and a new Bella was growing. As I stared into his golden eyes, I could have sworn I saw a flicker of emotion, but then, I knew this, 'Monster', in front of me couldn't feel anything, he was as cold and hard as his milky white skin.

"Bella." It wasn't Bella anymore he was talking to, this person I felt I had become in this short period of time seemed angry, or was it sad? Either way, I didn't feel like, me. I just stared at him, this man I loved so dearly had broken me with just a few words, he didn't even need to touch me for me to feel the intensity of what he was saying, because every word, every syllable, and every sentence struck my heart like a bullet straight from a shiny new gun.

"I see..." Once again, I was like a broken record, replaying the same thing over and over again, I turned away, finally breaking the long gaze between us. I heard t he ruffle of leaves as he stepped towards me, and then, all I could feel was a hand on my shoulder. "Get away from me!" I growled at him, a new emotion bubbling up inside of me I never would have thought I could feel towards my... no, not my Edward, just Edward, in this lifetime. "Don't touch me! Never come near me again if that's how you see it!" I turned so fast, I even surprised myself, and my hand flew up, knocking his white hand away from my shoulder, I knew it would bruise later, but I didn't care.

"Be-"

"Don't, say my name." I sneered through clenched teeth, my hands clenched in tight balls, and my chest moving up and down as I tried to steady myself, anger bubbling up inside of me like I had never felt in my eighteen years of life. "I'm leaving." I did not wait for him to answer me, I didn't even wait to see if he reached out to me. I could still feel my body trembling and my heart racing, but I couldn't feel my tears beginning to stream down my frozen cheeks. Before I knew it, I was home. I paused at the front door, noting my dads car parked out front, my shoe laces untied, and the skies filled with darkness that mimicked what I felt in my heart.

"Hi Bells." My dads voice seemed like a mere whisper as I walked past him like an empty soul, I didn't even acknowledge him, which I knew I wouldn't have to worry about him running after me. I got up to my room, and I paused, remembering everything that had happened between him and I. A cold chill ran up my spine as I looked at the window which he climbed through countless nights, then my bed, where him and I laid together, and the rocking chair, where he sat watching me, then finally, my eyes rested on the spot near my bed where I had first seen him in my room, and I could feel my heart sinking even further.

I dropped to my knees and my hands covered my face and I sobbed like a lost child. I felt pathetic, even worse, I felt like I hated him, the man I swore to love with all my being, and for the first time, I uttered the word, "Monster." That's what I felt he was at the moment, a monster. It felt like I was being played from the beginning, like a flower he was slowly plucking the petals from as I began blooming, he pulled every bit of my being out. Scattering the pieces like some game he quit when he just got bored. "I hate him! I hate him!" I hated him with every fiber of my being, I wanted him to feel what I felt, so he could know just how much it hurt me, so he knew I wasn't just another 'human' he could toy around with.

"Bella?" I heard my dads voice from the other side of the door, but I couldn't stop crying, "Are you okay?" I was anything but okay, a large piece of me was now gone, and I felt my dads arms around me, and I cried harder then ever before. He didn't say anything else, he didn't tell me I was being stupid, he didn't ask questions, he just held me. That night, I fell asleep crying in my dads arms, thinking about Edward, all my thoughts focused on that one person who I thought would never hurt me. I realized also, that I forever hated the man I once cherished so dearly.

I woke up on my bed, my forehead beaded with sweat, and I had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming. "Oh, no." I placed my hand on my chest, feeling the rapid pounding of my heartbeat. My head swiftly turned to the window, my dream was so vivid, I could have sworn Edward was right outside in the tree, watching me, his face filled with so much pain it even hurt me, but no, his words from before where final, a little part of me always knew that we could not be together, he was immortal, and I was well, me.

{{More to come maybe, if I get feedback}}