Welcome to Gaia! ::

If you conceived November 18th and miscarried on December 10th, that would mean it was quite early on in the pregnancy. It's very common to miscarry that early. Many women miscarry without even realizing they were pregnant since it often happens right around when they were expecting their period anyway. The miscarriages are usually caused by genetic problems that are beyond anyone's control. It doesn't necessarily mean this will happen again in the future. It just basically means that particular little bundle of cells was not forming properly.

So don't beat yourself up over it. You can talk to a counselor about it or look for a miscarriage support group though since it can still be difficult to deal with.

If you got pregnant due to missing or forgetting pills, you might want to look into another form of birth control that you don't have to remember every day or use condoms or spermicide with your pill. That's especially important right now. Since miscarriage can be tough on a woman, you want to be really careful to not get pregnant again for at least a few months to give your body and mind a chance to rest and heal.

You're right that maturity is more important than age. But it's also almost impossible for people to have certain things at certain ages. Most 17 year olds don't have anything that babies need. They don't have their own health insurance, time, money in the bank, their own home, a job that offers maternity leave or a partner who can support them at least during the pregnancy, knowledge of health and prenatal development, a reliable way to get to doctor's appointments, etc. And if they don't have those things, they're basically asking other people (usually their own parents) to support the baby, which really isn't fair to anyone.

So I see where those people are coming from. But I also know that no method of birth control is 100% effective. So I don't think teens who get pregnant are necessarily bad, careless, or ignorant. And that means those people probably shouldn't have been quite that harsh about it.

But I do think it's probably best if you don't have a baby right now. It would be best to finish school, go to college, save some money, get a good job with health insurance and maternity leave, get your own place, do some research on prenatal health and vitamins, then have a baby. That way, your baby will be more likely to have everything he or she needs and deserves. And you and your partner will be less likely to need help from anyone else.

Some help here and there is fine of course. Most grandparents like to help a bit, and it can be difficult to get every single little thing in place before having a baby. But I do think the majority of the care and funding should come from a baby's parents, not grandparents or the government.

Hey Cherry Blossom dont fell down trust me my pregenxy wasnt planned either and im only 15

i bet it must be rough wat ur going through im here if u need to talk to me