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Reply Archive of EEW Matches and Promos
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JobsEveryDay

PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:30 pm


(Don't interrupt unless i say. don't post in ooc either..it will get deleted..)

Jed was shown with Mary as they began to walk to gorilla position. Mary has lost a lot of weight. For some reason she didn't have her child with her. More to this story might be on EEW.Com. Mary and Jed weren't holding hands or talking they were just walking next to each other. Jed began to play with his hands even making his right hand start to move his ring on his left finger. Jed stopped looking at Mary. Mary stopped afterward when she was a head of him. Mary turned towards Jed then she pushed him as she began to walk to the gorilla position by herself. The crowd cheered loudly for Mary when that happen. Mary then told them to play her music.

Like I'm in luv with a Virgin- Madonna and T-pains Mix played
Mary walked out from the back. She had pants on. A EEW t shirt.She just walked down to the ring. Mary then walked to the apron. She was going to get into the ring. But then she walked around the ring and got a mike. Mary then walked up the steps and got into the ring. Mary was about to speak when she stopped for a second. Then Mary stood straight up. Mary was about to speak when..






To The..f**k It

Im out to mix it up and change my complexion
To coat the feelings and cure my depression

Jed's entrance video was shown as soon as To was said. This video showed many of Jed's matches in his history of EEW. Jed was shown beating up Mary, Saint Joey, and Harli. Then it flashed to Jed Doing his Versions of the Florida Clover leaf 3.0 and 4.0.. Which was a Texas clover Leaf and a Gorilla Clover Leaf. Jed showed Torquing the move on a Jobber.

A shot of petrol is my bonafide method
To lose control and get thoroughly distracted

Jed was shown backstage spiting on the ground. Jed slapped a person backstage turned around slowly towards Gorilla position. The crowd began to boo as To started. But EEW start to listen as Jed was shown on the screen. Jed walked up a few steps towards the top of the ramp before going to the outside to see the crowd. Jed stopped while looking up and at a Black Curtain.

Im on the money, here I come
Fuel for my engine, and Im gone

Then it flashed to the Jed hit JKO on many people. The Video also showed footage of Jed hit the Sick Flip DDT on Rev, Matt Stone, Cyrus, and others. Also The footage that was shown was Jed begin hit with a leg drop from the cage. It also flashed to Jed on the top rope. Jed running across the top rope. Hitting a Jobber with the dropkick.

I like to forget why I feel this compulsive
As I toss tomarrows dreams in the garbage

Jed pushed through the curtain towards the crowd. The crowd erupted in boo's from just the sight of Jed. Jed walked to the middle of the top of the ramp. Jed rose his right arm while spit on the ramp. Sparks then started to go up in front of Jed.

Whats important is a mind thats sicker
Turning jekyll into hyde much quicker

The ring announcer, Larry Mooney, announced to the world as Jed walked through the sparks. " Making his way to the ring, He weighs 237lbs at 6'5, he is also The Current Saints Champion, and A God Among Kings, Jed." Jed walked down to the ring starting to get pissed at the crowd reaction to him. Jed fixed his Saints title which he got handed to him from a person in gorilla position. Jed walked to the steps climbing the one by one. Jed fixed his belt. Jed was handed a microphone. Jed was wearing his usual Godly clothing. Jed fixed his belt as he was standing in the middle of the ring. Jed was about to talk when...



A New guy in a white shirt with a briefcase, Envelope, and a microphone. The guy then began to speak..

"Now I'd like the following superstars to enter the ring."


"Who do you think you are?" Jed replied.

"I did. You see Damita not the greatest person to help. She wanted something from e so i told her no. And i brought in the best. He has two announcements. " Mary replied.

"That's true. I'm the Best.. I have two announcements, but first i need the following people to come to the ring."

"Hold up. What 2 announcements?"

"Yep and i need the following people to go to the ring. In this envelope i have many hints and close.. while something to announce about each wrestler.. So I need the following people to come to the ring." The Best announced. "I need. Marxx, Nuke Fusion, Saint Joey. Wait he retired so.. Matt Shanahan, Matt Seraph, Cartwright, Damita, Snypa, Cassidy Cartwright, Dj, Falco, Jacob Figgins, Paul Heyman, Joshua Danielson , Nikole, and Both Gm's.
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:22 pm


"Battle Song "by Ensiferum hits the PA as a hand is seen tossing aside the entrance curtain. Just what in the hells would he want? Was the thought that ran through his head as he treked down to the ring. Once there he enters via between the top and middle ropes. He walks over to the southeast turnbuckle and lounges upon it, much like a hammock

Braiddan


Drive Type Wild

PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 11:01 pm


(WTF?! Damita & Nikole? xd )

(in order of appearances: Nikole, Damita, and Cassie Cartwright.)

Snypa joins via satellite from St. Louis.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:33 am


*Headstrong sounds*
*Falco walks out with out pyro with a confused look on his face*
*Falco makes his way to the ring wondering what he had to do with this whole mess. Once he makes it to the ring he circles around grabbing a chair from a tech guy. He then rolls into the ring and sets up the chair taking a seat not really wanting to be there*

iliwmes


[M]a.r.t.s

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:46 am


"Over the Mountain" (Ozzy Cover) from Fozzy starts playing as Marxx comes to the ring, really confused about why Mary wanted to see him. He thought it was clear that it wasn't him, he puts condoms and would, in no way, get into the Cartwright family...pun intended.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:28 am


Scream, Aim, Fire!

The tune of Scream, Aim, Fire, began to echo throughout the arena and into the ears of the fans. Out came DJ with a rather confused look on his face. Why would they want him out here? He wasn't even on the roster when this happened! No matter, DJ continued on down the entrance ramp until he made it outside of the ring, where he looked around at the familiar faces out there.

DJmeister


Extremist-Saint-Joey

PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:21 pm


Saint Jimmy by Green Day blared across the arena...

St. Jimmy's coming down across the alleyway...
Up on the boulevard like a zip gun on parade...
Lights on the silhouette...
He's insubordinate...
Coming at you on the count of One, Two...

One, Two, Three, Four!

... It's been what, one week? And Joey has not only been pulled out of retirement by his final rival, but his special theme edit had been wiped from the EEW archives~! The cheek!

Well, regardless, Joey had been hanging around backstage, tying off loose ends. He jumped out onto the ramp, in his street clothes, with no pyro. However, albeit for one time only, the crowd were overjoyed to see him again. They cheered loudly. Joey walked onto the ramp, grinning, and looking over the crowd as a 'welcome home' chant started. It was almost enough to make Joey wonder why he'd even left...

"What do you want, Jed?"
PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:30 pm


Joshua Danielson walked out in his street clothes, wondering what Mary would need him for. He was Straight Edge, so why would he be the one to do the thing with Mary?

mirokuman123


JobsEveryDay

PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:36 pm


"YOU!! Why are you here. Mary why the hell is dipshit here! Mary answer me!!!" Jed Said.

The crowd began to give the biggest reaction to Joey. Bigger than Anyone. Even bigger than Marxx.Jed began to run at Joey when Mary stepped in between Jed and Joey. Jed stopped right before hitting her.

"I asked Joey and other to show up. And when they do I will announce the Father of Mary's Child." Said the Guy on the screen of course now it was in half because Snypa was where ever he was.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:02 am


Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
Say your prayers and comb your hair
Save your soul tonight...


I'm Not Jesus by Apocalyptica ft. Corey Taylor hits as Matt Seraph walks out to the ring, a loud booing following him. He takes a mic from the ring announcer, whom he threatens to pimp slap afterward.

"I hate to interrupt this little reunion of the butt buddies, but needledick isn't gonna tell us who the rapist is until everyone's out here. But seriously, let's think about it for a minute. It couldn't have been me, right? I mean, not only is Jed's wife the most manly woman I've ever seen-" he turns to Damita... "present company excluded, of course. But also, I have a smokin' hot b***h I can hit anytime. You know, before she tried to pull a Heath Ledger." There is a huge boo, as the comment is way too soon. "So, let's get on with it. Tell us who ******** her. Actually, tell us who didn't ******** her; we don't have all day to hear who did."

FuriousSeahorse

Hilarious Sex Symbol


-Nuclear Fusion-

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:32 am


The lights flickered on and off, as an unfamiliar theme hit the Arena.

Give Me Fuel,
Give Me Fire,
Give Me That What I Desire!


The crowd all went silent, as they wondered who in Hell was coming out. But, to their suprise, it was Nuke Fusion, and he seemed to have come out to his old entrance music.
Instead, he came out wielding a microphone, and looked up at the titantron, to see his old theme.

"Woah, woah, woah! Wrong music, guys!"
He then turned to the crowd, who all seemed completely bemused by this whole situation.
"Wait, wait, let me have another go..."

Nuke ran back through the curtain, as the lights went back to how they originally were.



Once again, the lights flickered on and off...

I push my fingers in to my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I am today
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on...

Aaagh!


Nuke burst through the curtain, and once again looked up at the titantron.
"C'mon, guys, you play my two old themes, but not my current one? Get your act together! Final chance!"
Nuke left the Arena once more, as the crowd were now starting to laugh at the technical faults.



Trumpets blared around the arena...

Something's tearing me down and down
And I can't but feel it's coming from you
She's a gunshot bride, With a trigger cries
I just wonder what we've gotten our selves into...


The arena was then plunged into darkness and green spotlights turned on around the arena, randomly turning, seemingly looking for something or someone. Strobe lighting flickered around the arena..

In a trail of fire I know we will be free again
In the end we will be one
In a trail of fire I burn before you bury me
Set your sights for the sun


The lights started to flicker around the arena, the green spotlights still 'looking' around.

Nuke burst through the curtains, sarcastically clapping the tech guys to the side. He then, finally, made his way to the ring, and slid in underneath the bottom rope.
Still holding the same microphone, he looked around at everyone in the ring.

"Well, this is the biggest group of dorks, nerds and weirdos that I've ever seen. Then again, there was that time in Texas..."
Nuke seemed to ponder on this, looking down at the floor, before realising that there were thousands of people watching him.
"Er, yeah, anyway...I just want to put myself out here, and put in my claim that I'm the Father."
The crowd went silent, except for some remarks about Nuke and the Tapout Mafia being dicks.
"Well, isn't that why everyone's out here? They all want to be the Father of the baby, so that they can get benefits, right?"
The crowd gave off a loud jeer, and Nuke seemed puzzled.

"Okay, okay, it wasn't me. And I can prove it, as well. Now, can I have a raise of hands of who is actually attracted to that pregnant inbred trailer-trash over there?"
Nuke looked around, only to see a few hands up.
"My case rests."
Nuke, in his trademarks style, jumped on top of a turnbuckle, and watched everything unfold.

"C'mon, I want to know who the Father is. No doubt it'll be someone from her family."
The crowd jeered, but Nuke interrupted once more.
"Oooh, yeah! I want to see how many limbs it comes out with! Nine generations of inbreeding should equal a couple more limbs, seeing as Mary came out normal. Well, except her face."
The crowd gave out another huge jeer, and Nuke looked about.
"Okay, I'm all done. Let's just get this over and done with."
PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 3:57 pm


Damita raises her mic with her unoccupied hand, the other hand holding her Women's Championship.

"Well, thank you, Matt. I'm honored to know that I'm more of a man than you'll ever be. But you forgot the manliest woman here-" Damita turns to Cassie. "-and not to mention she's a Cartwright and the alleged co-mother/father to this inbred child."

Drive Type Wild


JobsEveryDay

PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:45 pm


"The father will be announced when Matt Shanahan, Cartwright, and Both Gm's show up."
PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:23 am


After hearing that they were going to wait for a few more people. Figgins jumped down from the turnbuckles, grabbing a mic from the announcer. Appearently he had lost all patiance with this ordeal.

"Listen ye cunts, I have no bleedin clue why I am even here. Today is the first day I even seen this Mary tart. Now why don't ye just get this announcement out of the way? And then we can move on to more important matters, you know, like our gods be damned careers?"

Figgins paused, letting the crowds reaction die down, he brings the mic back to his lips.

"I admit I am Irish, I get drunk A LOT. And I have slept with A LOT of women I regret. But looking upon, the vacuous expression and gaping maw of Mary, not even beer goggles will help this woman, hell looking at that monstrosity of a face would make a sobering effect. Now, I'm giving this crap five more minutes and then I am gone. "

Figgins dropped the mic, leaning back against the southeast turnbuckle, his eyes shifting back and forth. He can't believe he skipped barhopping for this.

Braiddan


Cartwright
Crew

Hilarious Sex Symbol

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:45 pm


((Cheers Tim for further watering-down the brand split by having me and the other Burn wrestlers appear, it is so appreciated... razz ))

The GM of Burn Mr. Jaydan follows Nuke and Matt Seraph to the entrance ramp to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Jaydan smiled and asked for a mic.

"Usually I'd hate to appear infront of you Drown Z-Listers and geek fans...." Jaydan starts to instant heat.

"But, I'm smiling. Why? Because Drown will get the highest ratings in its pathetic history because of The TapOut Mafia!" He says to boos.

"Nuke and Matt here are the leaders of the biggest stable in EEW! When the biggest and best stables are formed, they form on Burn! What does Drown have? It now has Jed and Snypa, who I traded here because they weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Burn!"

Jaydan soaks up the jeers, seemingly enjoying it! This man sure knows how to make himself popular!

Suddenly, Jaydan gets interrupted by Bodies......It's 'The Talented One' Cartwright! He enters the ring from the crowd as Barker appears on the titantron!

"Would you shut up for a minute Jaydan?" Cartwright shouts to cheers! "Let's hear what Jed has to say and get this over with!"

"You can't tell me to....."

"SHUT UP!" Cartwright interrupts Jaydan. Barker can be seen laughing on the titantron as everyone quiets.
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Archive of EEW Matches and Promos

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