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 Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 11:13 pm
Rose McCann Has anyone ever tried writing part of a tandem story? They're fun. mrgreen If you haven't, here's how it works: I'll give a starting paragraph, and everyone who's interested can take turns after that writing a paragraph or two of it. You can do anything you like in the space of your paragraphs, and make it as wierd as you like, but it has to build on, or at least take into account, what the person before you wrote. It'll be a little like the random word story, come to think of it, but hopefully more coherent. It's supposed to be wierd.
The cold was unbearable. The freezing burned into his skin, like tiny, fiery needles shooting into him. He gasped for breath and looked for some way, any way to just stop the pain.
Vlad slammed the gallon of milk into the shopping cart and quickly rubbed the condensation on his shirt. He shoved his hand into his pocket, the feeling returning to his icy fingers.
"I hate it when you wander off after you ask me to get the milk! I practically got frostbite!" he complained loudly.
"You couldn't even get freezerburn from that, stop complaining," his mother said nonchalantly.
Vlad sulked and furrowed his brow. He glanced around, and that's when he saw it.
The llama.
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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:59 am
(Another one. What a brilliant idea. xd )
It wasn't just any llama. This was Corporal Llama, the popular children's cartoon who had his own brand of cereal.
It was a cardboard cut-out of Corporal Llama, actually.
He appeared to be propping up a pyramid of cereal boxes.
But here was the odd thing: The cardboard cut-out was moving. Vlad, who was not, in fact, Russian, in case you were wondering, blinked in astonishment. Corporal Llama was still there, looking slightly cardboard-y but very definitely alive. And... he was winking at Vlad. Vlad paled. He had been warned many times of the dangers of moving cardboard llama cut-outs. He shot a furtive glance at his mother, who was calmly selecting packages of Yummy-O's at the end of the aisle. She had not noticed the llama.
Corporal Llama winked at Vlad again, and gestured stiffly with his cardboard head.
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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:08 pm
Vlad had learned never to trust cardboard llamas, especially when they suddenly moved. Suddenly, Corporal Llama started tearing off his corporal's outfit, and Vlad sheilded his eyes. He was knocked to the floor as someone pushed past him, and he felt that gravity was working rather too well today. As well as temperature-based physics.
He looked up from the floor to see a teenage girl standing by Corporal Llama, her mouth in a wide grin.
"O' Sweet Lord of all cereal!" the girl exclaimed, "It's Corporal Pimp Llama!"
And indeed, under the Corporal's uniform had been a cherry-red foax-fur-lined pimp jacket and hat, and the llama held a silver cane in his hoof.
"I am Corporal Pimp Llama!" announced the cutout, "Who will join me in my quest to stop the evil bane of cereals, the Angry Scientist Alpaca?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:33 am
Suddenly, to Vlad's unending horror, hoards of cereal mascots began jumping off of their respective boxes and running to join Corporal Llama. "We'll help!" thousands of shrill voices cried.
Vlad found himself rather unwillingly being swept along with the crowd of angry cereal mascots. He thought he recognized Sucrose Boy and Choco-Cow in the rush of characters, but he couldn't be sure. He hollered desperately, hoping that someone would rescue him from this madness, but unfortunately for him, his mother had left to search for dishwasher detergent, and the only other human present was the teenage girl. She shot him a scornful look as she rushed to join the others.
Unable to extricate himself from the rush of characters, Vlad found himself being pushed and shoved after Corporal Pimp Llama, down the aisle toward the check-out line. He was a little afraid to ask where they were going.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 1:17 pm
Much to Vlad's horror the cereal mascots were going straight for the checkout line to purchase some candy. Corporal Pimp Llama was the first to reach for candy, but when his hoof almost reached the Unbelievably Chewy Yummy Bubbly Gum, the Penguin on the cardboard box that held them sprung to life and put a fin up, "STOP all ye who dare eat my brethren!"
Vlad frowned, then cried once more for his mother who was passing by, this time to get to the bread. He sniffled as tears came down his eyes and the penguin began a rousing speech, "COME! For we contain corn syrup much like ye do. We shall band together and follow the Hooved One to glory!"
The candy mascots joined a shouting chorus of defiance as they joined the cereal mascots and together marched out the grocery store doors, with Vlad in tow.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:53 am
Vlad cast one last desperate glance at his mother. She was absorbed in reading a tabloid about the martian roots of Britney Speares, and didn't look like she was going to glance up anytime soon. Didn't she care that her son was being abducted by sugar-loving cartoon characters?
He had hoped, vainly, that the rabid edibles would stop once they were outside, but this wasn't the case. They kept going... until they reached the first row of cars in the parking lot. Their leader stopped abruptly by a shiny new SUV. "Right," roared Corporal Pimp Llama, "who knows how to hot-wire a car?"
Vlad frowned. He really didn't think this sort of activity was fitting for a children's mascot. "I DO," shrieked the teenage girl, a mere inches away from Vlad's ear. Vlad scowled.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:32 pm
I didn't mean to kill it....
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:54 pm
Rose McCann I didn't mean to kill it....
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:01 am
SunGazing Rose McCann I didn't mean to kill it.... Oooh. I know all about wheneverIgetaroundtoitbecauseIamsolazy. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:24 pm
And so, our heros traveled to an Elsewhere Place, and met the God there: Flink. And This God told our heros...
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Lord Thatlatu of the Tofu
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 7:48 pm
"How's it going?" GodFlink sat in a chair much too big for her, upholstered in the finest stolen lampshades the world could ever hope to know.
Vlad stared. Corporal Pimp Llama stared. The other cereal mascots stared. The girl said, "Good, and you?"
"Not bad," said God, and stepped up to our heroes, towering at least three centimeters over Vlad. Maybe even four.
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:17 pm
Vlad, in his fear, reached for his magical donut of JOY! "I am le Vlad de Vladiness!" he said, hoping that was a cool enough name to be presentable.
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Lord Thatlatu of the Tofu
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 7:51 am
It wasn't.
GodFlink stared at him, her expression a mixture of pity and sheer disbelief, then leaned in closer-- and stole the magical doughnut of JOY!.
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