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Best Comedian of Week 30(Closed)

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  Sheer Queen Attack
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Radioactive Applesauce
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 5:05 pm


Post your best work. biggrin
PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:43 pm


A long time ago, the British and French were at War. During one battle, the French captured an English major. They took the major to their headquarters and a French general began to question him.

The French general asked 'why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easy targets for us to shoot?'.

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now, all French army officers wear brown pants.

Tie Your Mother Down


Sheer Queen Attack

PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:36 pm


aw-s**t. You beat me-I was gonna try and post first since I won last week. smile
An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?"
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Blow Your Mind

 
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