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 Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:36 pm
JoJo sat on top of a small hill, in the middle of a meadow. A breeze swished past him, causing the long grass to rustle and whisper among itself, even throwing a few small bits of confetti-like leaves for the breeze to play with. Above, the stars pierced the sky and cast their own form of light to the world below, lining the grass with a soft glow and making the trees appear ethereal.
He really liked the night time; no need to hide from anyone or anything, and he was surrounded by the gentle music of the night. The grasses were sighing, the trees were pitching in with a slightly lower moan, crickets gave their own private concerts in the grass, and to top it off, fireflies winked in and out in time to the music; the ground's response to the stars in the sky.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 5:14 pm
Then she remembered that she was not supposed to add to the music, that she was trying to keep quiet and not ruin the night of the other on the hilltop above her. It had been by chance that she had wandered into the meadow that JoJo had been gazing upon, a sigh of releif when she realized he had been turned away from her, not wanting to receive another reaction like the last time he had seen her in this form.
She knew she did not belong in the soft clearing where only one's dreams were supposed to reside on a night like this, but she could not seem to leave it. Her only freind was here, and she was alone in other parts of the land. Her bloodstained but still white hair caught the light of the stars as she peeked again over the tall grass to the form upon the hill. She knew it was foolish of her to beleive that JoJo might lose his fear of her in this form so soon, that it was foolish to beleive that a nightmare like her could ever fit in with a feild of dreams, but still she wished as a firefly playfully allighted on her nose. She wished she could be part of the dream.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:16 pm
Blissfully unaware that Tolfitken was somewhere nearby, JoJo continued to listen to the tranquil music of the night, but his thoughts eventually turned to Tolfitken, as he knew they eventually must. She had been all that he could think about lately, ever since he had seen her that night......
To his credit, he hadn't shown what lurked inside when he had seen her; his wanting to scream in denial to the heavens for this latest cruel joke on him. He wanted so badly to put it behind him and accept it for her sake, but how could he when the very sight of a namir anthro caused him to bristle?
Suddenly the gentle music of the night didn't seem so special to him anymore. He lowered his head and fought to hold back tears, never mind that there would be no one around to see them. Why was it that every time he thought real happiness was within reach, it was snatched away or disfigured so that he had to either adapt or abandon it? His thoughts unknowingly found the same pattern as Tolfitken's; I don't belong here, where hope blooms and grows.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:49 am
She lay back in the grass again, her black eyes seeming to drain the light from the stars in the sky as she watched, their blue and red depths wishing to return the light to the sky but not knowing how to do so. It was as if her destiny was to be alone.
A laugh, wry and filled with irony, threatened to well in her throat as she thought of the irony of those words. It had been the same thing she argued with JoJo about the first time they had fought for real. She closed her eyes against the night, not wishing to take from the purity of its glow anymore, pretending that she did not exist in the realm of the light. Her ears were the only thing that could intercept the night, unable to do anything to it but listen.
There was no feathery touch of grass where she lay, there was no breeze lightly brushing at her hair and fur. She was not meant to be a part of that world and so she wouldn't be.
All she could do was listen, or watch when she was no danger to the light, to those she had come close to. Aurora, Artemis, Obsidian, even Teddi who seemed now to be trying to connect with her. She had watched over them from afar, only interceding when she felt she needed to in order to restore their peace. And now that was all she could do for JoJo as well.
Her eyes opened at that painful thought. She would silently guard him as she had done with Aurora and Artemis when Obsidian had disappeared, would not allow her fearful form to be seen but would not allow any harm to come to him. That was all she could do with Aurora and Artemis, that was all she could do now, but she would not be separated from her only freind again.
She closed her eyes again against the moon's soft light, determined that she would not exist in this world. Neither she nor the tears that now trickled from her eyes.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:54 pm
Having little now to listen to that sounded sweet in his own ears, JoJo stood up and carefully began to walk through the meadow, listening to the sighs and feeling their gentle ghostly touch. Stay, they seemed to say, you DO belong here. "How?" he whispered, his voice barely louder than theirs. "This is a place for love to flourish, and mine cannot grow. You are wrong. I have no place here."
He considered a new thought; he had loved the boy, but obviously in a different way than he loved Tolfitken. He had heard somewhere that if you killed love that existed in you, a part of you died with it. But you would be alright of you opened up another way for the love to flow. That was it, he decided. I looked out for the boy; I could look out for her the same way. But would I be able to stop myself from going to her, should she beg me to return?
He suddenly stopped and noticed a darker form up against the pale shimmer of the meadow grasses. He immediately recognized the white hair splotched with red that he had to admit was the only part of her being humanized that he genuinely liked. She looked nearly as miserable as he was. He got a little closer and sat down in the grass, hoping and yet not hoping that she would look his way.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:34 pm
Tolfitken's sensitive ears picked up on a voice carried along the breeze, her eyes opening slightly at the sound. It was JoJo's voice, but she couldn't make out what was said, only that it seemed to resonate with the same sorrow she felt her hope was drowning in. Was he said about her?
But no, it was foolish of her to think that on a beautiful night like this she would be the focus of his thoughts. Her eyes closed again and she stretched out further in the grass, her long limbs feeling as if no amount of stretching would cause them to relax, yet the motion felt so good. How could something about this body feel so good when it struck fear into the only person she now held dear.
Not that she could actually hold him. Her eyes opened again in surprise at the thought, wondering what she meant by it. She caught the white glow of fur in the corner of her blue eye and turned her head to look, hoping that she hadn't been discovered, yet knowing that she had. Sure enough it was JoJo sitting in the grass not too far from her, the sadness on his features making her heart twist in a way she couldn't stand.
She simply lay there for a little while, unable to break her gaze away from staring at him and wondering how far her attachment to him went. Abruptly she realized what she was doing and sat bolt upright, looking away and feeling a heat that was not an early summer breeze spring to her face. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I did not mean to ruin your night."
Turning herself over, she began to crawl from the clearing, crushing the helpless grass into her clothed knees. It didn't matter if she got grass stains on them; they had enough blood spatters and stitching that it wouldn't stand out. She would leave him to his quiet evening.
Or at least she would appear to. As soon as she would reach the treeline and could hide herself she would, resigned to watching from a distance as she had before. As the only thing that was left for her to do, even though she knew already that it would never be enough to just watch, longing for what she knew she could no longer touch.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:26 pm
JoJo braced himself as he saw her eyes meet his, but try as he might he wasn't prepared for what she said. Her, ruin HIS night? He was the one who had been discourteous and unaccepting of her new form when she seemed so very happy with it. He should have been helping her get used to it, or at least finding a cure if there was one. But no, he had been feeling sorry for himself because of how often his caring for others ended in disaster. He should expect it, but that didn't mean she should.
He saw her now, crawling despite her new body, it tugged at him. It was as though she was trying to revert to the way she had been for his sake. A voice in his head was prompting him to stop her, or he would surely lose her forever; he felt his mind was willing, but his body felt as though it was going through some sort of spasm. Just as he thought he was letting his only chance slip away, he found that his mouth had no such restriction.
"Don't!" he called, wincing as the echo seemed to cause the music of the night to go still, as though waiting with breath held to see what would come of this. "Don't," he said again, and he fought to make it as heartfelt as he dared.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:13 pm
Tolfitken froze as his voice seemed to ring through the air, her ears twitching back as if to double check what he had just said, rewarded somewhat when he repeated the word. It would be too much for her to hope that he might be calling her back to say that it was alright for her to stay. She knew she couldn't beleive that, not with the fear and the sadness she had seen in his eyes before.
But still her eyes were filled with that very light as much as the moon shone brightly into them when she turned to look back at JoJo. "D-don't?" she asked, her voice not really coming through but her mouth still moving in a small motion with the word. The cricket's song and the hush of the grass seemed to quiet as they waited for another word to be spoken.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:00 pm
((*Prompts from the sidelines* Let it out; like a really good sneeze. =3))
"Don't", JoJo repeated one more time, then he suddenly felt his front legs give way and he slumped down into the grass. It was all just too much; his imprisonment at the hands of humans, his loving only one and carrying the burden of guilt from that one's death, having friends turn on him, and finally having one last chance to feel emotion and keep from being a soul-less weather-predictor, and having it warped in his mind as though fate was mocking his chance to live a normal life.
He found himself babbling aloud, his shoulders shaking as he let the tears come; he didn't care, and it was night. "You don't have to be ashamed. It's not your fault; it's mine, all mine. I should have supported you; you had eaten a strange fruit and gone through a transformation; that wasn't your fault either, and I should have seen that. But all I could think about was how human you looked and I wound up feeling sorry for myself; I didn't give a second thought to how you must be feeling. I was too busy remembering how it was for me, as though I was the only person in the whole world to suffer. Forgive me."
He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his eyes with his front paws. He felt no comfort from the earthy smell of the ground nor the gentle touch of the grass. At the moment he felt he didn't deserve it.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:28 pm
( XD ) Tolfitken scrambled over to JoJo quickly when he collapsed in the grass, worry filling her eyes along with her tears. This was different from anyway he had acted for the time that she had known him. He began to speak and she listened, sitting down next to him, wanting to find some way to assure him that it was not his fault that fate was cruel, afraid to touch him lest that bring forth the fear he had shown before.
"It's not your fault; one cannot control the fears that life has given them," she said, the sight of him in such pain seeming to break something inside of her, "There is nothing for me to forgive, but if you ask for it all of my forgiveness is given to you." Tears rolled down her face to land at his paws as she wanted to plead with him not to be so sad for her sake.
She had never seen him cry before; she had on more than one occasion to her shame, but this was her first time seeing him so emotional. It made her heart wrench to think that she was the cause of his despair. The only thing she could think to do to calm him was to sing, shakily until she fell in with the emotion of the music and let it wash over herself calmingly. Hoping that it could do the same for the sadden form that meant so much to her currently crumpled in the grass under her soft yet sorrowful gaze.
Vois sur ton chemin
Gamins oubliés égarés
Donne-leur la main
Pour les mener
Vers d'autres lendemains
Sens au coeur de la nuit
L'onde d'espoir
Ardeur de la vie
Sentier de gloire
Bonheurs enfantins
Trop vite oubliés effacés
Une lumià ¨re dorée
brille sans fin
Tout au bout du chemin
Sens au coeur de la nuit
L'onde d'espoir
Ardeur de la vie
Sentier de gloire
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:14 pm
Moaning in the grass, JoJo just lay there, feeling as though he was full of some sort of poison and the only way to get it out was through tears that leaked out all too slowly. He even began to double up, as though trying to make himself as small as possible. He heard Tolfitken's words and acknowledged them, but they did little to ease his pained guilt. He was probably frightening her with his uncharacteristic display of emotion, but he probably couldn't stop it if he tried; emotion that had been pent up for so long had a tendency to break forth like water from a broken dam, and with the same amount of eagerness.
It wasn't until he paused in his barely perceptible moans that he noticed the notes floating on the air. Tolfitken was singing to him. As with any song that he found emotionally moving, it seemed to permeate his very skin and wind its way into his core, unclenching muscles and quieting his riotous thoughts. He ceased to shake as he lay there, but he couldn't uncurl just yet. He still felt racked with the emotion that seeped out of him like a leaking sponge that had been forced to hold more than it could take.
He lay there with his feet crumpled beneath him, his eyes staring at nothing and slowly leaking tears. But his small noises of grief had ceased, as well as his shivers. The night music seemed to timidly return, complimenting Tolfitken's singing with it's own gentle supporting melody.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:36 pm
After her song was finished Tolfitken just sat in the newly restore ambience of the dream-like night. She didn't know what else there was that she could do; she knew herself that if one held things in long enough they came out in a rush and took time to release, and she guessed JoJo had a lot to release. So she sat quietly, not sure if her song had helped or not but glad that JoJo seemed to be taking things at a better stride now.
She was still tempted to try more to comfort him, but still afraid of how he might react to her doing so. Another song could fill the air, she supposed, if he so desired it to. With the sounds of the crickets and the flittering glow of the fireflies returned she was reluctant to try asking anything, worried that if she disturbed the calm again it would leave for the night.
And she did not want that. Looking to the ground, she wished she had simply hid in the trees in the first place instead of coming down to the meadow. Why had she come down to the clearing? Had she been hoping that in some off chance he would have found her and then tell her that he wasn't afraid of her and that everything was al right? How foolish could she be? And then her actions had only proved her foolishness, causing the very person she had been telling herself that she was going to protect to break down like this.
Maybe she should just leave... But he had asked her to stay, even though it obviously hurt him so to have her near. She should leave; it had been nice of him to call her back, but she knew that he was still afraid of her current form. She should leave, only her arms and legs refused to do her bidding. Instead she simply hugged her legs to her chest and desperately tried to justify a reason for her to stay.
She was such a fool...
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:58 pm
Hearing the music cease, JoJo found himself raising his head and looking forlornly at Tolfitken. He saw how miserable she seemed, and he continued to let guilt stab at him for worrying her so. It never occured to him the times she had worried him, when she had been emotionless and nonfeeling when she had been mangling herself while he watched on.
A part of him found itself wishing that she would do something, anything, to show that she understood at least why he was so eaten up inside. He remembered deep within the archives of memories that he had long since tried to bury, of the boy surrounded by his Pokemir, the Nidoran on his lap and him giving it scratches behind the ears. He had thought it undignified at the very least, though before the fire, the thought had occured to him out of the blue that it wuold be quite handy to have a hand to scratch where he couldn't reach.
He blinked hard until spots swam before his vision and the memories were gone again. He struggled to his feet and was certain he looked as droopy as he felt. "I'm.....sorry." He wanted to say so much more, and he was afraid that those two simple words wouldn't be enough to keep her there, but then he remembered that actions tended to speak louder than words. Thinking that, he took a few tentative steps forward, looking like a wild animal wanting to be tamed.
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Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:31 pm
Tolfitken glanced over to see JoJo looking at her, recognizing the pain that filled his eyes making her own want to shy away in the knowledge that she was the cause of it. She didn't know what had happened to make him so afraid of humans, but obviously it had left deep wounds, and though she could not control it she was now the cause of those wounds reopening.
What kind of a freind or protector was she anyways? All she had done was cause JoJo pain and worry, first with the tornado, then her masochist blood, and now this. Tears filled her eyes as she thought it, but the conclusion that came to her mind was that she was undeserving of his freindship and it would probably be better for him if she never allowed herself to be in his sight again.
But she couldn't make herself leave; his single word from before her only thread of hope and her heart refused to let go of it. His apology tore at her even more and she shook her head, "It's not your fault that fate is cruel." It was a repeat of the words they had exchanged earlier. Only this more simple version seemed to have deeper meaning, Tolfitken begging for JoJo to understand that she held nothing against him for her faults and what appeared to be her cursed bad luck.
She had gotten 'cured' of her bad blood, but the luck she had with relationships and who she was hadn't seemed to change, and she could only assume that they never would.
When he stepped towards her she didn't know what to do. She was too afraid to touch him herself, not wanting to see the fear alight again in his eyes as her hand neared him. The image of Neko with her cat on her lap sparked a small idea in her mind and she lowered her knees, crossing her legs as if to make a chair for him to sit, trying to let him see that she wanted him near though she lacked the courage to say so outloud. All she could do was try and hope that it was enough.
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Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:45 pm
JoJo felt his muscles beginning to lock as he saw Tolfitken shift her still disturbingly human body until she was sitting in a way that practically called out for him to come sit. Clenching his teeth, he forced his numbing legs to keep moving forward, and he didn't stop until he was right in front of Tolfitken, trying to look her in the eye but finding that his body was taking revenge upon him by forcing his eyes to go everyplace else.
He raised his paw and carefully stepped into Tolfitken's lap. Conscientious that for her it would be like having an impossibly huge dog in her lap, he took care not to step where he might injure her, until he was half-sitting, half-lying in Tolfitken's lap, his head leaning slightly against her. He still ached on the inside, profoundly, but he found to his surprise that it helped to have a friendly and familiar presence so close by.
He could still feel the anguish churning inside of him, begging for release, but he stubbornly held what was left of it in. It seemed like such a sad, hopeless ordeal for them both. Both seemed to feel pulled on by fate, unable to change what they so wanted to change, and as a result, pulling each other apart when they wanted to be close. He knew they had both had their fair share of troubled relationships with relatives and friends, but this......this was a whole new kind, at least for him, and at last he was beginning to understand why so many love songs were sad.
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