Welcome to Gaia! ::

The night was warm, but a cool breeze blew through the trees with a sigh. The sky was oddly cloudless, each star was bright and glowed with its own firery brillience. Liora Coon walked through the empty streets carrying her book bag at her side. She had been let out of the extra help program late and was the only one out in the streets.

Each step on the concrete side walk seemed loud in Liora's ears. She tried to ignore it, she was scared enough as it was walking alone at night. After turning the corner the steady wind that had been blowing ceased. Liora stopped and looked around. It was completly silent.

'Where are the cars? This is the city for christ sakes I should here tons of cars! Why can't I hear the traffic?!' She thought to herself franticly as fear started to consume her.

She took a step forward and froze. 'I didn't hear my foot step.... Her eyes stared down at her black running showes. She took another step. Nothing. There wasn't a sound, not a single sound-

Clack.

Liona's eyes widened. ' That wasn't me! Someones coming!' She wanted to turn around but her fear wouldn't let her.

Clack. Clack. Clack.

The foot falls were getting louder. Liora wanted to run. She wanted to do an all out sprint down the street screaming and waving her arms to get someones attension, but sge couldn't move. She was frozen there staring at her feet like an idiot as the person got closer.

Clack.

' Move! Move damn it! What if it's a muggler? What if he has a knife or a-' A cold hand was placed on the nape of her neck. The coldness seemed to seep into her skin and cover her whole body with goosebumps.

Tears started to well up in her eyes. ' Why can't I move? Oh god! I'm gonna die!' Another hand made it to her shoulder sending more goosebumps down her arms. The person leaned foreward close to Liora's ear. Liora expected to feel the warm breath of her stalker but not even a small breeze met her skin.

"Hello my dear." A sweet voice greeted out of the cold silence. The voice sounded like a younge man and it was oddly lovely. Liora's fear was temperarly replaced with curiousity.

"I've been searching for someone for quite awhile now, and I believe you would be perfect. Your blood smells fresh."

'What?!-' A flash of pain stopped her train of thought. The pain began to be more promanant and made her whole body numb with pain.

'Is he...Bitting me?!' She felt her vains contract as the blood was rederected and sucked out of her neck. Her muscels tensed with the feeling but it soon passed and her whole body went limp. The man supported her as he continued to feed on her blood. He lowered her and pulled his mouth away from her neck. His fangs glistened wettly, tinted with red. He layed her head on his thighs as he sat down on the sidewalk. Her eyes stared up at the man in wild amazment.

The man looking down at her looked a few years older then her, atleast 18. His blond haeir layed in wavey wisps on his forehead. In the dull moon light his skin seemed light grey, but that made his eyes all the more amazing. Liora was tranced by the ice blue eyes that smiled down at her. They seemed to freeze her soul.

"I'm going to give you a gift. A very speacil gift, that will last forever and ever." He brang his left hand towards his mouth and bit down into his ring finger. A bead of blood formed on his finger tip and when he lowered it to Liora it dripped in red lines down the sides.

"I'm going to give you the gift of eternal life. For I shall make you into a vampire." He lightly pulled down on her chin and opened her mouth. The blood from his finger dripped down into Liora's mouth. It splashed off her tounge and made its way down her throat. A faintness drew on her and her vision started to blur out.

The man took out a tissue from his pocket and wrapped it around his finger. He then smiled at her. "Have a good sleep." He cooed. "You shall have a new life when you awaken, Roseline Valandrak."

As Liora slipped away into unconsiousness the words of this mysterious man echoed in her head. And one thought went through her mind.

'Who the heck is Roseline?!'

To Be Continued

Hm...I'm interested, but the storyline itself doesn't seem very original at the moment. I would read more if you posted it, but it doesn't seem like it's going anywhere that another story hasn't already gone.

There were a few slight spelling and grammatical errors, but it was organized perfectly.

Her thoughts seemed too generic at times meaning that Loira as a character was a bit too...bland and unoriginal. It's very important to have a unique set of qualities to your main character or their perspective gets boring.

But the way it was written for the most part was very well and again, I'd read if you posted another one.

So far:
Story line: 5/10
Organization & Grammar: 9.5/10
Writing Style: 8/10
Characters: 6/10

Ooh! Scary... what will happen next?
Love the description and the whole story!