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Reply Poetry and Lyricism
Your Eyes

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Pheonix Dreams

PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:55 pm


Your Eyes
Your eyes ablaze,
They light the gloom,
Telling me you love me,
There’s no breathing room.
But who needs to breathe,
When I have your eyes,
Capture me inside them,
Take me by surprise.
Eyes like fire,
Set in flame,
And for my capture,
They’re to blame.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:37 pm


Nice. I like it.

And I can definitely relate.

Spastic waffles
Captain


Pheonix Dreams

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 1:44 pm


yep, I'm sure. I'm so totally in love right now, so this poetry is becoming common.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:46 am


Yes, this was very nice. I would have to say the last four lines were my favorite.

Isianya

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monkniinink

PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:55 pm


I can definately relate, I'm totally falling for this guy and this really reminds me of him. I really liked it.
PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 1:34 pm


Fantastic! The emotion in your poem came out perfectly clear and the way you described everything was great.

DKMiller


Faithbringer777

PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:15 pm


I like it, you could really feel emotion there. The only thing i could say that may be an improvement is that the flow got kinda weird in line four, i think it was from "breathing".
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Poetry and Lyricism

 
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