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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:25 pm
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay][niraj]  Full Name: Niraj Harsh Durga You Can Call Him: Just Niraj, or, really, whatever else. He's adopted several nicknames; Girly Boy, Squid Boy, Tranni Boi...etc. Age: 18 Gender: Male. Persona: Niraj, though when younger he was predictable, his personality has changed greatly. When he was sixteen and seventeen, he seemed like he was constantly depressed and only seemed happy around a few people, and most of the time, he seemed like he was faking happiness. However, when he turned eighteen, a shroud seemed to have been lifted, and Niraj lightened up. Now he is pretty happy and outgoing even though he can become extremely shy in certain situations. He gets very nervous easily and often very self concious, sometimes worried that he might offend someone or say something to cause them to not like him, so he'll say something like, 'it's not like I'm crazy' or apologize to the person. He is also very feminine and takes a liking to cross dressing, so don't be surprised to see him dressing up. He over reacts to things as well, due to a past relationship. Also, Niraj hates being ignored. It can make or break something for him.
Likes: Cake-It’s his favourite food other than meat-ball-less Spaghetti and Root Beer People-He hates being alone Members of the Male Species-He’s…gay Music-He can’t imagine living life without it. He especially likes the indie genre and classical/movie score music, and “The Alphabet Song” by Forbidden Zone Squawk (his iPod)-It delivers him music and is thus the reliever of all his agony. His Camera and Photography-He LOVES to take pictures. He thinks that he’ll forget what things look like without them Nature-He loves being in the ‘great outdoors’, especially in fields and regions with a lot of mountains Plants-He’s got a green thumb Technology-His life, or at least his mental life, relies on it. Rainbows-He likes colors. And, it goes with the reason why he likes the male species TEAL!-It’s his absolute favorite color and he’ll do just about anything for something that's teal colored! Ducks-He thinks that they’re just so cute and fuzzy~! Obscure Cartoons-Can anyone say Don Hertzfeldt? He loves weird animations, with weird story lines, weird art, whatever. He really adores things like Salad Fingers or the stuff by Paxson Woelber 3-D Glasses-He’s not sure why he likes them…he just ruled out that he’s just really weird. Spartans-He can’t deny the fact that he likes a bunch of guys in leather speedos and capes Scrawny/Unfit People-Overly large muscles scare him Short People-He’s short and is scared of people that are taller than him Warmth-He hates being cold Comic Books-He’s always loved comics, they make him very happy and nostalgic feeling. Super Heroes-He’s a super hero in his own mind
Dislikes: Meat-He’s a vegan His Hair-It’s always in his face, no matter what he does. So he gave up and now just lets it do what it wants Dark Colors (except black and grey)-He doesn’t really like gloomy things, because he gets sad easily Unicorns-He’s terrified of them, because of a traumatizing experience he had at a kiddy party place when he was eight Facial Hair-It’s itchy and gross! Razor Blades-He does bad things with things with them, hence the bandages on his wrists Cold-He loves the warmth
Orientation: Gay Love Interest:Jazz...I want to marry him and then we'll ride off into the sunset on a beautiful white horse like in the romance movies! Chilluns: Jaewon, Devi and Tsin Tsi! Parents: Tanvi Durga x Amarr Durga
Favorite Song: Fluorescent Grey - Deerhunter
Post Color: Teal
[his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:24 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay][past] [his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:34 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay][opinions]
[ friends] Sydney Brown::Syd is awesome. He's been a great friend right from the start, he's just, really great. And he's funny too. I'm pretty sure when we're all old we'll still be driving in a car and yelling at people. Okay...I got that off of a birthday card...but still. Syd's awesome. Harold Brown::Harold is also awesome, I guess it's to be expected since they're related. I totally get Harold, too. He's so quiet and not very talkative but when you get him talking he's a great person to talk to. And he's totally into like, politics and environmentalism, which is awesome because he just seems like one of those quiet artists who rocks out to their cello all day. Heri::I think Heri was the first person who I befriended in namiah. So, I pretty much love her. I don't see her that much because she doesn't come around, but, she's still awesome and I'm still her friend no matter what. We've had some tight homosexual girl talks. Aurora::I've known Aurora since she was a kit. She's pulled me through some pretty tough times, and now that she's an adult, we have a lot of fun together. Though now that she's got a boyfriend we don't see each other as much. Though, it's cool, 'cause I've got a boyfriend too. And her boyfriend isn't a total jerk, so I'm okay with her being with him. Meth::CPG, b***h! Meth is such a freakin'...f**. He's thweet! He's good to go drinking with, because when you're both drunk, he's not the guy that shags you immediately. Well...not that we haven't done...that...but...uhm...you know. Sven and Israfel::So, I know they aren't the same person, but they're getting married, which, is totally awesome because it'll be the first gay marridge in namiah. They were also the first gay couple to have kids, and I'm totally for that. Anyways, Sven I've known for a while and though he can kind of get pissy, he's great. Israfel is also great. I can't wait for the wedding, because he's gonna look so pretty. Oh~ I can't wait till I have a wedding...
[ aquaintences] Turk:: Turk, even though I haven't talked to him, is also cool. (I'm begining to notice a trend...) He's got awesome hair. I wish my hair was awesome and not constantly hanging down. I mean, jesus, I can't even gel it! Frey:: Frey made me set up Meth and his brother on a blind date. Other than that, I haven't really talked to him, or any of his siblings much. His mom doesn't like me~ OH I'M SO BAD!
Yarrow:: AH! Such volume! Such magnificent...HAIR. I want his hair. I NEED HIS HAIR...uhm. He's cool. We had a party and talked about our boyfriends. He did my hair up to look like the elves from Lord of the Rings, you know, with the braids on the sides. It looked really good!
[ enemies] Kollegaen:: Ugh...I really don't have anything against her, personally, she's really nice and all, but, her obsession of cutting herself, because she's bored really offends me...
[ lover] Jazz:: You know, I don't even know what to say about Jazz, I'm speechless. I'm just...totally in love with him and, god, he makes me so happy...I mean, when I'm with him, the world seems like such a better place, and, I don't think about things that have happened...I want to make him happy, because sometimes he seems a little sad. I also hope I'm not too weird...I really, personally, wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him, but, uhm, I'm pretty sure thats just my ability to fall in love with a guy in three seconds talking...not like he's just another guy! Jazz is special... I mean, I've fallen so hard for him that I've broken six ribs...wait...how many ribs do I even have...hmm... Whatever. I've broken six ribs, even if I don't have six, just for Jazz. <3 ... But unfortunately since we had our kids we haven't been seeing much of each other...at all.
[ family] Omkar::Omkar is the best cousin ever, even though I sort of see him as a brother...he's hilarious, too...and he's got some of the best stupid football jokes too. Tanvi::I miss her... Amarr::I hate this b*****d... Kaajaal::Stupid Eyeliner b***h... Vatsa::Vatsa's pretty nice, once you get past the stupid gay bashing jokes and the perviness and actually get to know him. He cheered me up a lot when I was still able to see him...but now Eyeliner and dad are all freaked out thinking that I'm going to corrupt him and Bijoy because, since I'm gay, I'm having six orgies a night and I've already got aids... Bijoy::I really miss Bijoy, really. He was so cute, I was looking forward to seeing him get older, it's always cool seeing that...I think he's the one I miss most, he always nice, never mean. I love him.
[his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:38 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay][photos]

Cupcake me made by Kokobean22!
 Tag made by Ririka!
<3 They're both so yummy looking!
[his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:39 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay][a short story] Kranky writes some pretty ******** hilarious stories:
This one is really stupid, but it's cool.
[november 1o, 2oo7] “BANG! CRASH!” The two words echoed, bouncing off of rocks, followed by a thump. An anthro male that was dresses in absurd, uncoordinated and colorful clothing jumped a few feet off of a log. He grinned widely to a younger, pink anthro standing in front of him. The older one’s tail swished around madly as he told a story to the younger one, “And then I kicked the other guy in the stomach, making him double over and fall off of the building! That’s five stories, you know! Over a hundred feet!” He laughed climbed back onto the log and he stood heroically, “And then every one was cheering for us! I hopped on Green Dinosaur and I rode off into the sunset with him!” He sighed, taking on a more serious tone, “You know, if the Bunny Fetishist and I hadn’t shown up, Dr. Uni C. would’ve killed everyone in the city with his tentacle tongue and his poison breath! They were lucky I was there!”
The younger one stared, a bored expression on his face, “Oh really?” He said, standing and picking up a top hat that was at his side. He put it on and stretched out his arms, “You exaggerate too much, Niraj. You should stop. It could get annoying to some people…”
Niraj sighed, frowning a little and hopping down from the log, “Yeah, I guess you’re right…” He watched as the pink one started to walk away, “Hey, Nasir! Where’re ya goin’?”
Nasir shrugged, “I dunno.” He said, his tail swishing boredly. He looked back to Niraj, who was following a little sadly, and he offered a sweet smile, “You know, I really liked your story.” He said, “Even if I didn’t seem entertained.”
Niraj smiled as he heard this, “Really?!”
”Yeah,” Nasir said, “It was pretty funny…I would’ve laughed, but, I guess I’m not in a very good mood…”
Niraj cocked his head cutely, “Why are you in a bad mood?”
Nasir shook his head, “I don’t want to talk about it.” He looked up to the sky, finding it a dark and overcast one. His ears perked at a low rumbling sound that echoed through the area.
Niraj frowned at this sound, “I think there’s gonna be a storm!” He said, shuddering as more rumbles and flashes came from the sky, “We’d better take cover, Nasir!” He looked around frantically for a place to hide, but he frowned when all he saw were rocks and grass.
Nasir looked to the panicked Niraj and blinked, not fazed by the sounds. He’d heard them several times before, and he knew just where to go. “Follow me, Niraj.” He said, smiling calmly.
Niraj frowned a little, “But I’m already following you…!”
“Well…follow me more.”
They traveled up a rocky hill to a nearby cave, all the while Niraj was struggling to hide his camera from the rain, which had come on quickly and very heavily. By the time they got to shelter, which was a nearby cave, they were both already soaked. Niraj looked at the cave and frowned, “Is this it? Is it warm?”
Nasir looked up to Niraj and nodded, “Yeah, it’s really warm.” He pointed down the cave entrance to a flickering light, “See, there’s a fire.” He said, smiling.
Niraj frowned, “But what if someone lives here?! We could get in trouble!”
Nasir laughed at Niraj, “Don’t worry, I know who lives here!”
Niraj blinked, “Oh, Really? What is their name?”
”His name is Nasir.”
Niraj gasped, “Woah! You live in a cave?!”
”Yeah,” Nasir said, “Now are you going to come in?”
Niraj nodded and shuffled into the caves entrance, walking towards the flame. To his surprise, there were more namir there! Well…three of them were namir, but one was human. He looked at them all, staring at them while they stared back. There were two anthros, one with bright cyan and yellow clothing and tan skin and cyan hair, and another with dirty blonde hair and brown and black clothes. Niraj recognized the second but couldn’t place his finger on it. He then looked at the other namir, this one was just a normal, but he was an elder. He was solid brown with brilliant gold eyes, but their brilliance was dulled by his scowl. He then looked at the human, who grinned at him and got up. She was a little taller than the short Niraj, but only by a few inches. She wore a brown coat and some jeans. She looked fairly normal, until one saw that she was obsessively clinging onto a gasmask with metal bunny ears somehow attached. She had medium length, dark brown, curly hair and greenish-grey grey eyes.
”Hullo there!” She said, excitably, “How are you!?” She nearly bounced with excitement because she knew who this was and she was very happy that he was here.
Niraj blinked, looking behind the girl to see that Nasir had already joined the other namrah around the fire. He then looked to the girl and smiled shyly, sinking into himself, “Uhm…I’m good…”
One of the male anthros, the cyan one, spoke, “You know, I don’t think he knows who you are. Maybe we should introduce ourselves?”
The girl looked back to him and nodded, looking back to Niraj, “We’re the A.A.K!” She said giddily, “Well, their the A.A.K., and I’m just the K.”
Niraj cocked his head, “Huh?”
The cyan male spoke to the human again, “I meant names, kid.”
The girl grinned awkwardly back to Niraj, “Oh, yeah. I’m Kranky.” She said, shoving her hand out.
Niraj stared down to the hand, and then decided to shake it. “I’m N-“
”I already know your name!” The girl shouted happily, shaking Niraj’s hand vigorously. “You’re Niraj!” She let go of his hand and looked back to the others, “Now you guys introduce yourself! Except you, Nasir, ‘cause he already knows you!”
The cyan male sighed and stood, “I’m Mihir,” He said, bowing a little, “Nice to meet you, Niraj.” He smiled as sat down, looking to the blond male and then to the elder.
The brown elder looked to the blond anthro and scowled, deciding since he was older he’d go, “I’m Satish.” He said, without standing.
The blond anthro grinned sweetly, “I’m Jonas.” He said, in a soft voice, “Jonas Bjerre.”
Niraj’s eyes widened as he heard Jonas’ full name. “NO FREAKIN’ WAY!” He bounced happily, nearly shaking in his brightly colored converse, “I’m like, SO in love with you!!”
Jonas blushed; it was always flattering when someone heard that. “So is Kranky.” Niraj nearly squealed, and he looked at Kranky, “You have great taste in music!”
Kranky nodded, “Actually, you do!” She said, “I’m the one who chose your tastes in music.”
Niraj blinked, “Huh? That can’t be. I’ve never met you before…”
Kranky laughed, “I made you.” She said, “You’re a comic book character…”
Niraj stared at her with a suspicious glare.
Kranky frowned, “Hold on…” she walked back to a bag that was sitting next to where she had been seated. She opened it and looked through it, and pulled out a comic that was unfinished. She walked back to Niraj and handed him the comic, “Here, look through it.”
Niraj blinked at the familiar face on the cover, it was him! “Half Undone…by Krankhafter…” He looked up to Kranky, whose smile had now turned into a worried expression. “Krankhafter…? That’s you, right?”
Kranky nodded, “Go ahead…read it! I need a critique anyways, and, what better person to do it, right?”
Niraj nodded and walked to a warm corner of the room, not minding that he was soaking wet, opening the cover and beginning to read. It was like a biography! He remembered all of this! It was so weird! He spent the whole night reading it, going over chapters, ignoring the worried mumbles coming from the group at the fire. Eventually, he came back and handed the thing to Kranky, “It’s cool.” He said, smiling. “I liked the parts with my mom in them.”
Kranky nodded, “Thanks…”
”Hey,” Niraj asked, sitting down next to Nasir, occasionally taking nervous double takes to Jonas, “Uhm, what’s the A.A.K.?”
Kranky grinned, her hyper and happy demeanor coming around again, “OH! It’s the most brilliant thing ever! It’s the Anthro Army of Kranky! And you’re in it now!”
Niraj frowned, “I don’t like armies. War is bogus.”
Mihir laughed, “Don’t worry, we aren’t a real army. We’re just here because Kranky cares for the most anthros in Namiah. So far, she has only three…and if you decide to stay, that makes four! And she’s finding ways to add on more, too. Like, my eldest daughter will soon be one…hopefully.”
“So…there’s no fighting? No war or death?” asked Niraj, his ears flicking curiously.
“None at all,” Said Jonas, smiling, “other wise, I wouldn’t be here. I’m terrified of death.”
Niraj smiled, “Oh, well, I guess it couldn’t be too bad. Who’s all in the A.A.K…?”
Nasir yawned, getting a little tired, “Well…there’s Mihir, Jonas, and me! And you!” He paused for a minute, “And Satish!”
Niraj looked over to the sour old elder, “But…he isn’t anthro!”
Satish frowned, “I’m the ‘steed’. Kranky likes to ride around on me.”
Niraj smiled, “Oh…well…I guess I’ll stick around…it’s not like I know anyone else here!”
Kranky grinned, “Yeah! And, we have JONAS BJERRE! Things can’t get better than that!”
Niraj nodded, flashing a flirty smile to Jonas, “Nope, things can’t.” He stuck his hand out to Kranky, “So, am I in?
Kranky nodded, “Yeah! You’re in!” She grabbed his hand and shook it so hard that it might’ve fallen off!
Niraj smiled, “So, what do we do?”
Kranky grinned, “Well, Niraj, we’ll purify our world with Anthro-Goodness! It’s a secret serum I made and it cures all diseases!”
Mihir shook his head, “Actually, there’s no such thing. Basically, we go around, looking neat.”
Niraj, grinned, “Oh, cool!”
Kranky frowned, shooting a glare to Mihir, but then she looked to Niraj and smiled,“Yup! So tomorrow morning, we’ll head out! And we’ll look hella spiffy!”
In the morning, Niraj woke up to see Nasir jabbing at him with a stick. He looked around the room and it was empty of all people and things.
Nasir smiled, “Come on! Get up! It’s time to go!”
Niraj stood, rubbing his eyes and wincing at the dull light outside. It was still overcast, but, he didn’t mind, as long as he didn’t get too cold. “Do you guys have any cake…?” He asked drowsily as he staggered to the entrance to the cave.
Nasir shook his head, “No, sorry. We’re going to go get some! Kranky knew you’d want cake.”
Niraj smiled, “Oh…that’s good then.” He peered out to Mihir, Jonas, and Kranky, who was riding on Satish. Satish looked very glum. He smiled happily and waved. He thought he was going to like living with them. No, he knew it! He walked out, making sure Nasir followed, and he joined the group.
Kranky smiled as she sat on top of the annoyed looking Satish, gas mask in hand. “Are you ready, Niraj?” She asked.
Niraj nodded, “Yes, I’m ready.”
She smiled, “What’s your favorite cake?”
Niraj thought for a minute, “I like…carrot cake, with a lot of yummy frosting!”
Kranky smiled, putting on the gas mask and turning her head toward the new member of her small legion, “Alright,” She said, her voice mysteriously muffled, “Let’s go, guys.” She poked Satish and he started walking, and the rest of the group followed diligently.
Niraj shoved his hands in his pockets, “Hey…does anyone want to hear a story about how the Bunny Fetishist and I defeated the evil Dr. Uni C.?” He asked.
Mihir’s ears perked a little, looking to Niraj, and then to Kranky, “The Bunny Fetishist?” He asked, looking back to Niraj, “How do you know about her?” ===================
Heres another one, another stupid one... But it's cute in a creepy way.
[february 19, 2oo8] “You were always my favorite reflection…”
A boy stood on the cold sidewalk, his head tilted up, staring blankly into the acid white moon. He studied the oil black telegraph lines that cut through the pure whiteness, like clean, razor cuts angrily slashed into the face of the moon, but it was only from his view that this could be seen, this blemish on the moon's purity. He didn’t really like the moon, though he did indeed like the night. The moon was too round when it was full, and if it weren’t for the occasional light grey splotch the moon would be too symmetrical, and too unbearable. Its bright white hurt his eyes enough already. It was a cold night, though he couldn’t tell. He was ‘bundled’ up, but that wasn’t the reason he couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel any change in temperature. He could go out in his skivvies when it was snowing and feel alright. He despised this fact, but he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t want to seem like ungrateful snot. He’d asked for it, and he wasn’t going to complain. He’d spent too long complaining. He sighed, shifting a little and beginning to walk, his footsteps barely made a sound on the pavement. He was a short kid, about 5’5”, and looked about the age of seventeen, though really, he should’ve been about nineteen by now. He had tan skin, much paler than his tone when he was a child. His hair was long in the front and short and spiky in the back, a dark brown with a slight reddish tint, with black tips that he’d died three years ago and they never came out. Though…his hair hadn’t grown any since then either, except when he cut it. Once, he’d cut it rather short, wanting a change in his looks, but when he awoke the next day he found that he had the familiar long brown locks back again. The boy tried countless times but it’d always grow back. So he gave up. He thought the length suited him more. He wore a dark brown, chocolate pea coat with a hood on it, a white shirt underneath with a black gas mask printed on it, and around his neck he wore a dull, orangey-yellow scarf. As far as pants went he wore simple, grey-blue jeans. His face looked young and pure, riddled with light colored freckles and a dark mark on his under his eye. He sighed a little, finding a calming smell dampen the air. Rain; refreshing these cold city streets, it was much needed, even in the winter. The city air needed to be cleansed after many months of stagnant air and pollution. His hair soon was soaked, for this was a hard rain, pounding on everything it touched. He watched as humans scurried about, rushing for shops that were open so late. He felt sorry for them, they must’ve been cold. He understood their quest quite well, too. If they stayed out too long they’d most definitely catch a cold. He had nothing to worry about, though. Not anymore. If it were a few years back, he too would be like those humans, running inside to protect his mortal body, but he didn’t have to now. Sickness couldn’t touch him. Soon he was the only being out, and silence drowned the city hum. He sighed, leaning against a wall and debating on whether he should go home or not. He closed his eyes, listening carefully to the beating of the rain, feeling it fall on his face and occasionally flinching as it hit him. Suddenly, the air seemed to change, and his eyes flicked open, the olive-brown surrounded pupils dilated at what he saw. He blinked, looking to the sky, his eyes widening as he saw the color of the sky. It had changed from its velvety black that was spotted with grey clouds to a strange, dark-amber colored overcast. The air grew hazy and hard to see through, and the nearest street light glowed suspiciously amidst the amber fog. Soon, something else caught the boy’s eye, and immediately his gaze shot to a puddle, seeing something in it, something so strange yet familiar. It looked like something he’d seen before, something he’d always took advantage of, and though he knew he hadn’t seen it for a long while, not even out of the corner of his eye, here it was, this strange appearance of himself in a puddle, being interrupted by rain drops. He stared curiously, crouching down by it. Something seemed different. His reflections eyes were not the olive-brown he knew he had, but a bright orange, and, it was smiling, deviously, even though the boy wasn’t. He cocked his head a little, though the reflection didn’t. Soon, the reflection opened its mouth, “‘You were always my favorite reflection,’ you told me.” It said, “Why’d you have to leave?”The boy blinked, “What?” He asked, “What are you talking about?" The reflection shook his head, “Oh, right,” He said, “You’re a different version of that one…darn…”The boy raised a brow and screwed up his face, “Huh?” The reflection took on a sad look, and then looked up to the boy, “I really miss him…though you look like a good replacement!” The reflection opened his mouth, turning it into a huge hole. It stood and popped out from the puddle, swallowing the boy whole.
[his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:40 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay] [wives] [april 27, 2oo8]
I am conjoined at the hip with Heri and Aurora. They are my sexy Siamese twin sisters. They are also my platonic lesbian lovers. It gets really awkward during sex. But who am I to complain? [his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:41 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay] [when everything happened, i swear you could feel the sky] [june 23, 2oo8]I hung out with Jazz today. He's very cute. A Not So Drunken Day heart
[his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:42 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay] [sydney] Syd came back a few days ago. Yay, too bad we've both moved on from eachother. He was so sweet, but, it was too weird. We never talked about romantic stuff, all we did was kiss and hold hands, it wasn't too different from before. When he left, sure, I was sad, but I was a little relieved. Aurora asked me where he went and I said he left, and he wrote me a sweet little love letter. But really it was just sort of breaking up with me. I didn't mind though, we weren't meant to be a couple, we were meant to be friends. Well, I moved on, obviously. I'm totally fangirling for Jazz. I'm super straight for him.
But anyways. Syd makes me feel very insubordinate, I behave my worst when he's around, not like I'm a slut or something! I'd never cheat on Jazz...even if I was impaired. I'm not like how EX said Syd was. I'd tell him over and over again, Syd won't do anything bad, no matter how high or drunk, but he kept pushing and pushing and punching and punching until I racked him where it hurt...and then he went after me... But Syd and I, we're fine, now. Syd's nose is all healed up, and it's only a little crooked. All I've got are a few scars, but I've got more that a few scars on my arms, so I don't care.
... But it's not like I'm going to go back into that again. I'm pretty happy now.

Listening to: Girl Laying Down - Anna Ternhiem
[his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:43 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay] [bars] I went with Syd to this new bar in Namiah, it's pretty happenin'.
Me and Syd went as soon as it opened, and we saw Jazz but he was with other people...I didn't want to seem like a stalker-ish boyfriend or something...I didn't want to embarass him. And, it's all good because I don't think he saw me. We didn't stay very long. We went outside, basically, and walked around. It was getting crowded and some chick tried hitting on me... So anyways...I kind of made a really bad mistake. Syd had some stuff and so I took some of that stuff, just for the sake of trying... I'm never doing that again, we went to the bar and I swear I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, that s**t makes your heart race. Worse part was that when we went back, I pretty much downed a whole gin and tonic, even though Syd said I shouldn't. Jazz was still there, I don't really remember what happened but I walked over, but then I started hallucinating about reptiles (according to Syd) and I guess somehow Jazz found out and then passed out because he hit his head and was bleeding. And thats when it all wore off. So...I helped him...but, I had other people do it for me, Dancer...and...Matrix, I think her name was. I was so pathetic, all I did was get the ********' first aid kit and bandage his head...I mean, jeez, anyone can do that, you know?
On top of that he saw my scars...

Listening to: Set Fire to the Third Bar and Make this Go On Forever, both by Snow Patrol [his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:46 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay] [mouth] ...
[x]

Listening to: Nothing... [his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 8:47 am
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:12 am
[why do i dream so often of his body when his body will decay][] So...
My kids...are...all grown up now. Tsin hates me, and stays away from me as much as possible, and he talks mess right in front of me! Jeez, where did I go wrong... I haven't seen Jaewon or Devi much, because neither of them live with me, but I hope I get to see them soon.
I don't see Jazz much anymore, and that makes me sad, but, it's okay because last time we talked, he told me he'd marry me when the time is right...I guess I'm excited, but...well. Whatever.
If we do get married I'm going to force him to live with me, so, if we have more kids they can live with each other and maybe they won't hate me as much.

Listening To: The rain on my window! [his flesh will be fluorescent grey]
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