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 Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:55 am
Change will come
Change is here
Love fades out
Then Love appears
Now my water’s turned to wine
And these thoughts I have
I now claim as mine
I’m coming home
Change has been
Change will be
Time will tell
Then time will ease
Now my curtain has been drawn
And my heart can go on
Where my heart does belong
I’m going home
--Reunion, by Collective Soul
---
Get up. Get up now.
It seemed like a reasonable order for her to make under normal circumstances. But these weren’t normal circumstances. She was dying. She could feel it. This wasn’t like any other injury she’d received before. It hadn’t struck flesh alone. She could feel it. It had severed her core. Severed her soul.
But she wasn’t dead yet and she had her son to thank for that.
The rogues were gone, taken to the wind by the realisation of what terrible act they had committed. Footprints do not last long in the desert. A stroke of the wind and they are concealed forever. By the time Ripuka found Azarax they would be gone.
Was I destined to be saved by my rejected sons? First Azarax and then…you. Neither of you red, neither of you Firekin in the traditional sense of the word. Yet of all my children it was you alone who could save your mother. Even you; a child so young and vulnerable.
She realised then that she wasn’t speaking aloud, though she had meant to. Words would not come easily and she’d need to save her strength for the last push to the Simo. If she didn’t make it, would they find her son? How long could he live alone in the desert? Probably not much longer than she. No. She would not let him die. She had to see him to safety – no matter what it took. She needed to do this before she could rest easy.
I sacrificed myself for you, little one. In turn, you almost sacrificed yourself for me. Sacrifice is a part of your life now and because of that I’ve finally found a name for you. I’m no longer afraid of loving you, little one. Because where I am going no one can punish me for it. She reached out and touched her nose to his. The movement hurt. Her muzzle was bloodied and torn and the sand was biting deep.
I love you.
Then, with a fierce roar of pain, she pulled herself to her feet, lifting the cub by the scruff of his neck.
Ripuka was old and mortally wounded, but now she was proving that a mother’s love for a child could keep death at bay – though for how long she did not know.
She deadened herself to the pain, raised her head and looked to her destination.
The life was gone from her wounded foreleg, torn at the shoulder so she could not even raise it from the ground. Instead, the limb dragged uselessly across the sand as she hobbled towards the Motoujamii-Simo. As she hobbled towards home. Yes. This part of the desert was what she knew and loved. She was blessed really, being able to deliver her son to its heart. To be able to die where her ancestors, and great rulers, had.
Makadari.
Kiu.
Kimeti.
Her parents, Paytah and Nui’lua.
All of them gone but none of them forgotten. She hoped, beyond all else, that her memory would live on in those she loved. Would the golden cub remember her? Would the rest of her litter back home in the den? Perhaps not. But Makaa would see they knew her. She was certain of that.
Makaa.
Her heart convulsed with such pain that she stumbled and fell. Bitter tears gathered and threatened to overflow. What would happen to him and the cubs now? Would he take care of them? Would Jua help him when she had the time? Would they think that Kidondo and his rebels had killed her? Or that she had abandoned them for a new life? Queen Kenna was already suspicious. What if she thought Ripuka had betrayed them and punished her family for it?
No.
She didn’t want to leave them.
She didn’t want to die.
She wanted to live on, to see grandchildren. To see future generations of her family born beneath the sun. She didn’t want her children growing up not knowing their mother, inventing a face to put with the name.
“Mama.” The cub clutched in her teeth wriggled and mewed. “Mama!”
Ripuka pushed herself back to her paws and struggled onwards. She couldn’t think of that now. No amount of wishing and hoping would stop the inevitable. No one could live forever. Her time had come.
But not before you’re safe. She added silently to the cub swinging from her clenched jaw.
And as she moved on she felt a light fuzziness in her head. It gave her the impression of floating, of being separate from her body. The feeling made her nauseous, but it reminded her that time was short. It had her pushing past the pain to move closer and closer to the lands where her child would be safe from home. And when she looked up again she found how far she had come. The scents of familiar lions wafted to her on a breeze that had conjured itself to encourage her. She filled her lungs with it and held it there.
Don’t worry little one. These lions will take care of you. She believed that with all her heart. She did not consider – for a single moment – that they might turn away her son. Even if he could not stay in the lands forever, he’d at least grow up knowing who he was.
She squinted through her one, watery eye and spotted something moving in the distance. She’d gone without two eyes for the majority of her life and now with age, the one eye she had relied on for so long, was failing her. The fuzzy blur looked red, looked as if it moved, but she dared not trust it.
She wobbled unsteadily on her legs and paused to set her cub on the floor by her feet.
This is it, little one. This is where we say goodbye. She lifted her head, gave a dry cough, then put the last of her strength into a final roar. A roar to summon her long, lost son from a land that had been locked to her the moment she had chosen Finar-Si.
But the sound failed her and all she could manage was a half-finished roar that sounded like someone was strangling her.
It won't be enough! She thought to herself desperately. They won't be able to hear!
Then, with the poor sound finished, she crumpled to the sand; all strength gone.
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Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:25 am
When she wasn't busy planning the rota for the guards she was usually found patrolling relentlessly, even in the hottest heat of midday. In fact, usually Uuo was doing both. Yin-li had become a familiar and welcome companion on these daily walks even if she didn't stay through the whole day.
The sounds of such a horrible commotion, however, had caught the attention of the two, Uuo first. Without warning the shaggy pawed female had taken off across the dunes, leaving Yin-li to momentarily wonder until she caught it too, the scent of blood on the arid desert wind. The broken roar sent the young adult into a fast pace after her friend, but she wasn't truly prepared for the sight that greeted them.
"Ripuka...?!"
She'd hear Uuo gasp, and felt her heart clench with dread. Ripuka was the name that Ilahle had mentioned in conversation once, Azarax's mother. Horrified by the sight of such violence and instantly heavy-hearted she came to a dazed stop by Uuo, who, angrily, wasted no time in raising the alarm, her roar loud enough to rattle Yin-li's bones and in surprise to flatten her ears.
There were a dozen possible scenarios desperately pushing themselves forward in Uuo's mind as she looked over the bloodied form of her old opponent, crippled far worse than she had left her on the day of the rebellion, and there was no doubt about it that the female now lay dying. Grim-jawed she approached, slowing to a stop by Ripuka's body, Yin-li following slightly behind.
"Ripuka... isn't she...?"
"She is."
It was the most subdued that Yin-li had ever heard Uuo speak, with a hushed tone that almost sounded remorseful. Maybe it seemed out of place, but to Uuo, who had always intended on sparing this one's life, to see her lying in a bloodied heap like this was more than a little regrettable. Or maybe it was even just an awareness of how this development was going to hurt Azarax, whom she shared a mutual respect with. Either way she was sure that if Ripuka was still sound enough to hear and understand what was going on around her the last thing she'd want was to be pitied, or to even feel like she was. Ripuka was too proud for that, something that Uuo understood because she was the same. Uuo turned to Yin, also sure that the former slave didn't need to be around for this, to watch the mother in law that she'd never get to know die a slow death on the sands.
"Yin-li, go, make sure Azarax is coming."
She saw the hesitation in Yin-li's eyes and hardened her gaze to an expression more befitting her title.
"GO."
It was the final push that snapped Yin-li out of her own daze. Hardening her own expression and pushing her pained emotions aside the young huntress turned to head back past the border in hasty search of her mate.
Uuo looked over Ripuka quietly and turned her attention to the dunes to make sure that no one else would interrupt. Azarax deserved to be the one to speak with Ripuka, perhaps Kidondo, but for anyone else to intrude would simply be impermisable. Uuo would keep watch until Ripuka's son could arrive, she wouldn't question the presence of the young cub with the old storyteller, and she'd do what she knew that she did best. She'd stand guard and keep watch until the time came.
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Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:40 am
The cub crawled desperately beneath his mother's chin, his head pressed to the base of her throat as he sought shelter from the rays of the rising son and from the strange voices uttering all around. Another roar splitting the air, more odd scents filling his delicate little nose. He hated this! He hated it. He wanted to be back home with his brothers and sisters. He wanted to curl up tight amongst them, shut his eyes and pretend this had never happened!
He pawed at his mother's trembling form, distressed at how odd she felt. Her body was rigid and trembling, as if she were preparing to make a death-defying leap.
"Mama." He whined, smearing blood on his back - from the wound on Ripuka's muzzle - as he pushed up against her neck. "Let's go home."
Ripuka hardly seemed to notice her cub's wriggling. Her breathing was hoarse and rattled in her lungs. Her good eye wavered - seeming unable to focus. She could not - and would not be able - to rise again. She didn't even attempt it.
Even her son's whimpered demands had no effect.
The blur of voices was as if she had her head under-water. She could hear them but they seemed distant and hollow, as if they were not real voices at all.
She lifted her eyes as the shadow of another fell over her. But she did not recognise Uuo. To her, the lioness was a symbol. A symbol of hope for her son.
Her ears lifted slightly at the mention of Azarax's name and she repeated his name in an exhaled breath.
Azarax...
So...it was going to work out after all.
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Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:29 pm
He had woken up with a heavy heart. Ever since he had first met the lioness he called his mother, the lioness he barely knew, his dreams had ceased to be plagued by the image of the fire-red form. He had found his answer. Her one hawk-like eye no longer stared fiercely at him in sleep.
And yet. She had come back. But her presence had not filled his subconscious as it had so long ago. Rather, she had been a distant, lingering image that neither approached nor departed. She had simply been there, and for the longest time, he had not even noticed her. And then he saw, and he wondered why she was there.
He didn't suppose it was a particularly good sign. But how was he to know? She had been driven from the lands in which she had been born, the home that she had loved all her life. For that, he felt immeasurable guilt. That the Safi should have been stripped of their home. And yet, he knew that there was no other way.
The desert pelted lion gazed out dully across the sands which to him, seemed unbearably dreary for the first time in his life.
And then he saw her. He saw Yin, and he felt a spark of brightness light within him. Rising, he made his way toward her, his eyes taking in the welcomed sight of her familiar coat.
Then, with a pang, he noticed. It wasn't her face - she wasn't quite close enough for him to be able to see her face clearly - but it was something else. Something told him, even before he reached her, that something was terribly wrong. He felt a pit forming in his stomach, and he dreaded finding out what would happen next, though he knew that he must.
Azarax reached her, said nothing. Only stared at her with his piercing eyes. What else could he do?
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Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:37 am
Yin-li's thoughts were racing as she hurried back to the pride towards the den where she'd left him sleeping that morning (As she sometimes did when she went with Uuo for the morning patrol instead of the evening patrol), only to find him meeting her halfway. She couldn't help but feel sorrow for what was currently transpiring, though she could imagine the exact reason Uuo had sent her away. It had simply taken her off guard, or maybe she'd hoped that Ripuka would be one of those to see the light and return when she figured out the truth.
She held her voice steady as he stopped before her and she before him, though only for a moment.
"Azarax, you need to come with me to the border quickly. Uuo's called for you. There's an injured lioness from the other side, she's..."
He would surely know what she couldn't bring herself to say just by the fact she couldn't be so blunt about it. Instead, she moved to see him back to where she and Uuo had made the find.
"Come on."
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Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:04 pm
An injured lioness.
His fears had been confirmed the moment Yin had started talking. Just by the way her words sounded. He felt a shudder run down his spine, and the moment she trailed off, he knew.
Who else could it be?
Never for a moment did he imagine it was Jua. It was no surprise, though, the reaction that Ripuka's appearance at the Simo's border elicited, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was his mother that they had found. What she was doing here, he could only begin to imagine. He almost didn't want to know. Ripuka was Ripuka. Never in a million years would she leave the Safi, and yet... what other reason was there for her to have come this way?
He stood, frozen for a moment even as Yin turned back the way she had come. For a moment, all he could see was the horizon, and beyond it the distant border. An injured lioness. He dreaded to consider what he would find beyond that thin line against the sky. His dream flashed through his mind, and then it dawned on him why he had been feeling so blue. So perhaps... Perhaps there was something between a mother and son, even after so long.
Yin's voice cut through his thoughts, and his golden eyes shifted from the distance to fix upon her dappled coat. Watched as she took a step, and another, as if time itself had slowed. He felt as if he had been enveloped in a fog. A mist surrounded him, it was like struggling through water to move, and everything... Everything was, strangely, muted against his ears. He could hear nothing.
Then he was moving. He burst into a full out run, surging past Yin in the direction he had seen her come from. His paws barely felt the sand as he leveled out against the sand, racing toward the border, where he knew Uuo stood guard over Ripuka. Injured.
How long did she have left? He knew the injuries must have been grave. Yin would not have been so grim otherwise. He had seen the fighting spirit that resided in Ripuka. She would have come to find him personally if she could have. That she hadn't, that Yin had come to fetch him was testament as to just how terrible the situation must be.
Emotion welled up inside him. No. No. He didn't know for sure yet. He didn't, and he couldn't begin to assume. If he did, he might well lose it, and that he could not afford to do.
So he ran.
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Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:44 pm
Azarax was off before Yin-li realized that it had registered. As he took off running she moved into a run along with him. Uuo had sounded the alert, if No and Kidondo were around they'd hopefully have heard it and would come. Hurrying to catch up (And even then she wasn't able to quite keep full pace with his longer stride. She had to run quicker to keep up.) she let her mind wander a bit. She couldn't say anything, really, but she finally slowed to a stop to look over the dune where Uuo and Ripuka waited with the unnamed cub on the sands. Sure that Azarax would keep going down the slope she stayed back, coal eyes full of concern following his sandy form close the gap.
~Azarax...~
Uuo noticed when he arrived, lifting her head to look up at the General as he came sliding down the dune, and with not a word she moved away from Ripuka's side to give the two some privacy and to continue keeping watch.
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Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:29 pm
Had he not grown up on the sands, the pace at which he took the downhill would have sent him tumbling. The moment he had crested the dune, his eyes had landed on Ripuka. The only brightness in a sea of gray, muted against the backdrop of the rising sun. He would have frozen then, if his body had not been moving on automatic.
His muscles tensed as he approached, his tail twitching in accordance to his agitated mind. The lion's golden eyes brushed over the pitifully weak form, and he felt a wave of mixed emotions crash over him. Outrage, confusion, incomprehension... How had this happened? Was it... No. It wasn't the Safi, it couldn't have been them. There was no one more bound to her faith that Ripuka, and... He blockaded the thoughts from his mind. This was not the time. He would not spend these last moments pondering the situation.
And then he was next to her. The smell of blood and battle lingered on the air around the lioness, and he could see the extent of her injuries. The gaping wounds on her face and shoulder sent another shudder through his great body, and he trembled at the sight of her, lying so tired and broken on the sand. And for what?
He lowered his face toward her, brushing the top of her head with his nose. "Oh, Mother," He murmured into her ear. "What have they done to you?"
((Unfortunately, I'm heading to HK in a few hours and I'm really not sure whether or not I'll be able to get online this time. I have in the past, but my mom told me the last couple times she went back that she couldn't get connected at all. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was just because she didn't know how to find the right wireless to connect to, but I'm guessing that, most likely, I won't be able to come on. D8 ))
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:55 am
She sensed, rather than saw, Azarax approaching. And a moment later, the rest of the figures gathered around faded into nothingness. For the moment it was only her son and she. Not even the golden cub's movements against her chest was enough to rouse her to his presence.
Her body was numb. She could no longer feel the pain of the vicious wounds that marred her. It was as if they pained her so much her brain had decided to sever the tie between mind and body. An odd sensation, but a good one. At least she could concentrate on her words. Words were important and she didn't want to say the wrong thing in case her tiny son was refused entrance into the pride.
She could not bear to think of it.
"Azarax." She spoke slowly. Her throat felt thick and her mouth seemed to find it difficult to shape the words. She coughed in an attempt to make speaking easier, but it seemed to make no difference. "I...knew you'd come."
Again she tried to lift her head but again she failed. It pained her to be like this before him. Pained her to lie here and accept that she was too weak to do anything but lift her eyes to gaze at him.
What a lion he had become!
The sun gleamed off of his desert-gold pelt. She was sure, if he had lain quite still in the sand, one could have walked by without noticing him...except for the flashes of red through his mane. The very red that matched the colour of her own pelt. He was a mighty lion now, thick in muscle, proud in stature. A son to be proud of.
Tears twinkled in her eyes as she looked upon him.
And then he was leaning close and the contact filled her with joy. Suddenly it seemed as if she were complete again, as if her battered old heart had gained strength from the contact. Her he was: the son she had abandoned, the son she had tried desperately to cast from her heart. Yet, after all this time, she knew, such a thing was impossible. He was her son, red or not, and she loved him.
"Azarax...listen to me." Again she was forced to clear her throat. "I'm wounded, Azarax..." She blinked back the tears. "I think...I think I'm dying."
"I don't know how long I have left...I have...have so much to tell you...things I should have said so long ago. But...I didn't and now...now it's too late." She cut off a sob before it could fully make itself known. "Wakia is here...I think...he...he..." She frowned and shook her head. Focus. Focus!
"I brought...brought him here. To be safe."
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Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 7:51 pm
"Of course I came," He said, shaking his head slightly. He would always come, regardless of what it was, simply because she was his mother. It didn't matter what she might have done in the past. It didn't, because ultimately, whatever decisions she had made for him had led him to where he was now, and he certainly couldn't complain about his current situation. If anything, he could almost thank Ripuka for allowing him to grow up in a different mindset. He wanted her to know that, to realize that he had long since forgiven her for anything and everything that she had done. That he was still her son, that if she called he would come.
His eyes flitted once more over the gaping wounds that covered the lioness's body, and he wondered who was responsible for them. He wanted so much to ask her, to find out, and then to hunt them down and make them squeal. For a moment, every muscle in his body tensed at the thought. Oh, sweet revenge. Yet, he knew Ripuka was right. They all knew. She was dying, and there was little time left.
The tan lion's ears flickered at the mention of Wakia. Wakia. His brother. Oh, he had seen change after all... His brow furrowed.
Him?
It wasn't Wakia she was talking about, no. Him, who was... Then he saw. For the first time, he noticed the tiny wriggling figure next to his mother. It was glaringly obvious why Azarax had not noticed him to begin with.
He was gray.
At least to the tan-pelted lion's eyes, he was but a spot of gray against the vast expanse of grayness that was the desert. Except for a speck of red in his mane, the cub was colorless. That had to mean...
"Oh..." The word left him involuntarily, a breathy whisper against the rising morning.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:59 am
Her breathing grew haggard and for a moment she went quite still, as if death was fighting to take her and she barely had the strength to refuse. It was an odd feeling, this dying business, this lack of control over one’s body. It was terrifying and yet it called out to her so sweetly. Sleep now. Sleep. You are tired and weary. Sleep will be warm. Dark. Comfortable. Close your eyes. Let us take you. And she was so tempted. She did feel tired and her eyes were so heavy she was finding it difficult to keep them open.
If not for Azarax being there, she would have given in and let the eternal sleep take her to peace and quiet.
As realisation settled over her sand-coloured son, she tried to move away for the no-name cub so that he wasn’t pressed against her so. But she was too weak to move, too weak to push him away. He’d gone oddly quiet, maybe out of fear, maybe out of sheer tiredness. But either way, he couldn’t stay there. He needed to go with Azarax. Needed to go where he’d be safe.
“Danger. They’d kill him. Can’t let him.” Her words were tinged with madness, as if she was only half aware of what she was saying. “Sacrifice, such sacrifice. Suitable, I think…” She gave another cough to free her lungs and give them strength enough to allow her to continue speaking. “Had to bring him here. Away from the others. Else they’d find out…kill…no more killing.”
Then light returned to her good eye and she looked up at her son – his face somewhat hazy now. “Your brother…” The word was released with a soft breath. “Azarax…you are the only one…I know who can help…help him now.” She winced as the cub wriggled up against her neck and pushed his head up against her torn muzzle. He seemed intent on trying to hide himself but was failing miserably.
“Don’t let them take him away.”
And with a rumbling growl, she hooked a paw beneath her golden son and gave him a weak shove.
--
The nameless cub gave a high-pitched mewl as he was shoved away from warmth and comfort. His mother’s scent was not exactly 'comforting' but he didn’t mind putting up with that metallic tang so long as he was close to her.
He flopped helplessly on his back for a moment and then twisted so he lay on his tummy on the sand. Then, blinking up into the sun he looked up and saw the face of a huge lion. A lion that looked similar to daddy but…different. His pelt wasn’t red or black or white. It wasn’t gold either but it was close enough. He gave another helpless mewling sound and turned his head back to his mother. She looked sick! Worse than sick even! He didn’t like it, not one little bit.
He released a horrible, heart-wrenching wail and attempted to stand.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:31 am
Sacrifice... Indeed. In that moment, he was sure that there was nothing in the world that could compare to the love Ripuka held. For him, for the little cub with the red in his mane - his brother. She wasn't supposed to. As far as he knew, she had been the most devout of Firekin for most of her life, she didn't deserve two sons whose coats looked nothing like the rest of her kind.
And still, he knew that the love she had for the two of them was no less than that which she held for Jua and Wakia, and any other siblings this little cub had. Perhaps she did not show it as clearly, perhaps... but whatever she did, he understood, was out of love and nothing else.
And he remembered what he had told Ripuka the day of the rebellion. For love... He had known that perhaps she would not have understood. Perhaps she would have. And yet, all he had wanted was for her to realize that he was joining the rebels not out of spite, but out of his desire for them to see change. To help them.
It was like that, but what she had to do... twice... was infinitely more difficult than what he had had to do. He knew that, he did.
And she was so close, so close to succumbing to the siren call of the slumber from which she would never again awaken. He could see the light in her eyes slowly growing dimmer. And then, for a moment, it had returned. That fierce flame that lit up her good eye as she gazed at him, both focused and unfocused at the same time. She wouldn't let go until she knew, until she was certain that the little cub was safe.
He would be. Azarax would make certain of that, if not simply for his sake, then for hers as well. For the memory of her. "I won't," He promised. His voice choked at the back of his throat, forcing his words into a soft croak as he slowly lowered himself into the sand. As if being closer to her... as if it might keep her with them for a while longer.
Then the cub wailed, a gut-wrenching cry of confusion and desperation, and Azarax felt his heart twist. Pain. Pain for the little cub's loss, which he understood far better than anyone else ever would. Pain for his mother, and everything she had done. Pain at knowing that she had precious little strength left, and every passing moment life was ebbing from her once-proud and powerful figure. At knowing that the moment she closed her eyes, it would mean the end of what little time she had spent with him, and with her young golden son.
That little cub. Once this was over... He would take the cub with him, as he had promised Ripuka, and he would make sure he was safe. That he would grow up knowing who he was, what he was, even if one day, he would have to leave the Simo and find another place for himself. But once this was over. And not a moment before.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:32 am
Sacrifice... Indeed. In that moment, he was sure that there was nothing in the world that could compare to the love Ripuka held. For him, for the little cub with the red in his mane - his brother. She wasn't supposed to. As far as he knew, she had been the most devout of Firekin for most of her life, she didn't deserve two sons whose coats looked nothing like the rest of her kind.
And still, he knew that the love she had for the two of them was no less than that which she held for Jua and Wakia, and any other siblings this little cub had. Perhaps she did not show it as clearly, perhaps... but whatever she did, he understood, was out of love and nothing else.
And he remembered what he had told Ripuka the day of the rebellion. For love... He had known that perhaps she would not have understood. Perhaps she would have. And yet, all he had wanted was for her to realize that he was joining the rebels not out of spite, but out of his desire for them to see change. To help them.
It was like that, but what she had to do... twice... was infinitely more difficult than what he had had to do. He knew that, he did.
And she was so close, so close to succumbing to the siren call of the slumber from which she would never again awaken. He could see the light in her eyes slowly growing dimmer. And then, for a moment, it had returned. That fierce flame that lit up her good eye as she gazed at him, both focused and unfocused at the same time. She wouldn't let go until she knew, until she was certain that the little cub was safe.
He would be. Azarax would make certain of that, if not simply for his sake, then for hers as well. For the memory of her. "I won't," He promised. His voice choked at the back of his throat, forcing his words into a soft croak as he slowly lowered himself into the sand. As if being closer to her... as if it might keep her with them for a while longer.
Then the cub wailed, a gut-wrenching cry of confusion and desperation, and Azarax felt his heart twist. Pain. Pain for the little cub's loss, which he understood far better than anyone else ever would. Pain for his mother, and everything she had done. Pain at knowing that she had precious little strength left, and every passing moment life was ebbing from her once-proud and powerful figure. At knowing that the moment she closed her eyes, it would mean the end of what little time she had spent with him, and with her young golden son.
That little cub. Once this was over... He would take the cub with him, as he had promised Ripuka, and he would make sure he was safe. That he would grow up knowing who he was, what he was, even if one day, he would have to leave the Simo and find another place for himself. But once this was over. And not a moment before.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:38 am
Sacrifice... Indeed. In that moment, he was sure that there was nothing in the world that could compare to the love Ripuka held. For him, for the little cub with the red in his mane - his brother. She wasn't supposed to. As far as he knew, she had been the most devout of Firekin for most of her life, she didn't deserve two sons whose coats looked nothing like the rest of her kind.
And still, he knew that the love she had for the two of them was no less than that which she held for Jua and Wakia, and any other siblings this little cub had. Perhaps she did not show it as clearly, perhaps... but whatever she did, he understood, was out of love and nothing else.
And he remembered what he had told Ripuka the day of the rebellion. For love... He had known that perhaps she would not have understood. Perhaps she would have. And yet, all he had wanted was for her to realize that he was joining the rebels not out of spite, but out of his desire for them to see change. To help them.
It was like that, but what she had to do... twice... was infinitely more difficult than what he had had to do. He knew that, he did.
And she was so close, so close to succumbing to the siren call of the slumber from which she would never again awaken. He could see the light in her eyes slowly growing dimmer. And then, for a moment, it had returned. That fierce flame that lit up her good eye as she gazed at him, both focused and unfocused at the same time. She wouldn't let go until she knew, until she was certain that the little cub was safe.
He would be. Azarax would make certain of that, if not simply for his sake, then for hers as well. For the memory of her. "I won't," He promised. His voice choked at the back of his throat, forcing his words into a soft croak as he slowly lowered himself into the sand. As if being closer to her... as if it might keep her with them for a while longer.
Then the cub wailed, a gut-wrenching cry of confusion and desperation, and Azarax felt his heart twist. Pain. Pain for the little cub's loss, which he understood far better than anyone else ever would. Pain for his mother, and everything she had done. Pain at knowing that she had precious little strength left, and every passing moment life was ebbing from her once-proud and powerful figure. At knowing that the moment she closed her eyes, it would mean the end of what little time she had spent with him, and with her young golden son.
That little cub. Once this was over... He would take the cub with him, as he had promised Ripuka, and he would make sure he was safe. That he would grow up knowing who he was, what he was, even if one day, he would have to leave the Simo and find another place for himself. But once this was over. And not a moment before.
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:46 am
Dreams. Nightmarish visions. They flickered behind Kidondo’s closed eyes as he slept, tormenting him, strangling him, suffocating him. He drew in a haggard breath and seemed as if he were struggling back into wakefulness. Struggling, because he couldn’t seem to find the way out.
It was, finally, with Uuo’s roar, that Kidondo was jolted roughly from his sleep. The nightmarish images blinked out like candles and the haunted face of a familiar lioness was replaced by the wall of his den and the sleeping form of No. Recently returned, he had thought sleep would come easier with her at his side. Apparently these horrible dreams were more persistent than he would have imagined.
“No?” He whispered her name into the gloom, hoping she would stir.
Their children were sleeping. For as rambunctious and lively as they were, they tired easily and quite often dropped to sleep for an hour or two – allowing their weary parents a brief moment of respite.
Then, suddenly, he remembered the roar. Uuo’s roar. She’d been calling. Something urgent had happened, he was sure of it. But what could possibly have gone wrong? What had invoked such a response from the usually brazen lioness – who he would have thought one of the hardest females to spook.
He nudged No’s shoulder with his nose and rose onto all fours. “No? Love? Did you hear that?” He didn’t need to wait for her answer, though. He knew what he’d heard and he had a feeling that a grave change was near. A change that would, for once, not be welcome. He wasn’t sure how he knew this. Maybe it was the dreams. No. No more denying it. He knew it was the dreams. They had been trying to warn him. For days now he’d been haunted by them. They had been dark, full of pain, and in the darkness had been a flash of brilliant gold – so brilliant it had blinded him to look at it. But what appeared in all of them was a pale ghost. She moved through these visions fleetingly – so silent that you could have missed her if you hadn’t been looking her way. Then, as quickly as she appeared she’d be gone again and the dream would release its hold.
A ghost.
He had known that ghost.
“Ripuka.” He breathed the name of the lioness who had helped raise him. The lioness he would have grown to call mother if their views had not been so drastically different.
“There’s something wrong with Ripuka.”
And with nothing else said he was out of the den and galloping across the sand, trusting that No would follow.
--
She knew it.
She could see it now.
Change was a part of life. A lion should learn to adapt and grow, not stunt themselves until they shrivelled away. If there had been no Goddess in Ripuka’s life she would probably have joined Azarax and Wakia that day. But, alas, her love of the forsaken Goddess had been too great, too embedded in her soul to let go. Until now, that was. Facing the end she saw the whole naked, terrible truth.
It had all been a lie.
This was a hard thing to do. To give up not one, but two, of the people you loved. Yet in Ripuka’s eyes, there was no other choice, it was this or hand her children to death. She could not and would not do that. She’d rather die before that happened. Now, she was. But, she thought helplessly, at least I die for a just cause.
Azarax’s answer brought a swell of relief through her and a tear of joy swelled and drew a shimmering line down her cheek.
“Thank you.”
She seemed not to hear the cub’s wails. At one time the very sound of him crying would break her heart. Maybe her heart was just too far gone to care. Or maybe she was just to weak to even register the sound and it’s meaning. She lifted her eyes and kept them focused on Azarax – an easier job now that he was lying down.
“I have…done so much wrong…A-Azarax…and I have no one to blame but m-myself. I lived my life blind…blind to everything but my useless faith…” She coughed. “Where has faith g-gotten me, dear one? She is gone…from the land…from my heart…but I saw it too late. Only with…death…” It was getting harder to talk now and it frustrated her. “Only with death do I see my w-wrongs. Only now do I see the light.”
She blinked through tears. “He thinks I don’t love him.” She choked hoarsely. “Azarax…don’t let him grow u-up to think that. Please. I couldn’t…couldn’t bear it. When he’s older…when he understands…t-tell him that I loved him. Just as I love you…Jua…Wakia…and the rest of his siblings…”
“Azarax…” But words failed her and she felt her life slipping away. But she couldn’t go. Not yet. Not until she’d told him what she needed to. She couldn’t leave the world without giving her little son a name. And she’d found one for him. A perfect name.
“Azarax…I called him…Uddhava.”
Sacrificial fire.
And a great weight seemed to leave her then.
She smiled and again the light dwindled from her eyes. She felt as if her soul was drawing away from her body, tugging backwards in a desperate attempt to free itself from the prison of flesh and bones that had been keeping it upon the earth since it’s birth.
“I knew a s-slave…long ago…a slave whose name I never knew. She was pitiful. Weak. Or so I thought…and she escaped these lands only to die…” Her voice was so quiet only Azarax would have been able to hear it. She no longer spoke to him, though. She no longer spoke to anyone. Simply remembering and speaking her memories, as fragmented as they were. “She died…but… even after her suffering…she…she did not think badly…did not wish harm…” Her head lolled. “I thought her weak…so, so w-weak. I was wrong. S-she was stronger than all o-o-of us.”
The light dimmed.
“Slaves…we were all slaves…slaves to a Goddess who n-never saw fit to aid u-us.”
Her eyes drooped. “It’s cold.”
Half-gone as she was, she did not hear the quick, steady thump of another approaching. Did not know that Kidondo was tearing towards them. Even if she had heard him it was doubtful she could have held on any longer.
She tried to gaze up at her son again, but her eyes seemed to have failed her. It did not distress her, though. In fact, she found it comforting. This was the beginning of her great sleep. A sleep she felt she desperately needed after her long, tiring life.
“I’m tired, Azarax…go, go tell your father I’ll be over to see him s-soon.”
The corner’s of her mouth twitched up a little, in the beginnings of a smile. Then, without warning, she gave a small cough and it was as if her life was in it. Her body fell still, her eyes glazed over and she breathed no more.
And so ended the life of the storyteller.
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