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 Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:03 pm
Is there anything that will open up old wounds for you? Explain.
(You may think that this is a bad thing and you don't want to open those wounds but forgetting the past is like re-living it, You won't get anything out of it. Plus it will help you deal with it if you express it)
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:08 pm
When i hear certain songs i think of my ex and the nights we spent together (We both had a obsession with all music) And it makes me depressed that certain songs that i used to love i now hate because i listened to them with her.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:11 pm
Hmm.
Oddly enough you'd think that my adoption is an old wound...and while it is one, it isn't one of those horrible ones. My worst one would probably be even talking about...I guess I'd have to call him my first love...it was completely an unrequited love because on top of what happened, he was also gay. So it was like pining for someone you could never have. xD But my Senior year of high school we had planned our schedule so that we would have all the same classes. Well, the end of that summer right before school started he moved away without saying goodbye. I haven't seen him since. (That was 5 years ago.) Senior year is supposed to be your best year...that was probably the worst year of my life. I had two mental breakdowns in that school year alone. :/
So whenever someone has the name Josh (LOL...everyone here is named Josh...:/) or even if I talk about him, it's really depressing. It used to hurt a lot more because I really never had any closure, but...
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:33 pm
annaastrid Hmm.
Oddly enough you'd think that my adoption is an old wound...and while it is one, it isn't one of those horrible ones. My worst one would probably be even talking about...I guess I'd have to call him my first love...it was completely an unrequited love because on top of what happened, he was also gay. So it was like pining for someone you could never have. xD But my Senior year of high school we had planned our schedule so that we would have all the same classes. Well, the end of that summer right before school started he moved away without saying goodbye. I haven't seen him since. (That was 5 years ago.) Senior year is supposed to be your best year...that was probably the worst year of my life. I had two mental breakdowns in that school year alone. :/
So whenever someone has the name Josh (LOL...everyone here is named Josh...:/) or even if I talk about him, it's really depressing. It used to hurt a lot more because I really never had any closure, but...
Did you know he was gay when you went into the relationship with him? i
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:45 pm
Actually, we were never in one...that's why it was this really bad unrequited no-closure thing. I never admitted how I felt about him, ever. We were just best friends.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:55 pm
Could you explain why girls are attracted to homosexual males?
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:59 pm
I think it has something to do with the feminine/masculine and the dichotomy between them, especially in our society today.
Why?
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:06 pm
This happened to me about a month ago. I'm going through my mp3 player, and a song came on that I dedicated to this guy, a while ago, and we'd listen to it while we were on the phone, and everything... It hurt pretty bad, remembering how bad I wanted to be with him, and how he said "I don't want to be in a relationship", and 3 days later was dating my best friend. gonk He moved 2 years ago, and we just got in touch again, which I though was great... And I haven't talked to another guy for a really long time, that I liked a lot, too, and he's coming home over Christmas break, so I hope I can see him... sweatdrop A lot of wounds are being reopened, recently.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:13 pm
annaastrid I think it has something to do with the feminine/masculine and the dichotomy between them, especially in our society today.
Why? Just wondering, It has always confused me deeply. I wouldn't ever want to date a lesbian, No appeal.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:20 pm
anti-gen annaastrid I think it has something to do with the feminine/masculine and the dichotomy between them, especially in our society today.
Why? Just wondering, It has always confused me deeply. I wouldn't ever want to date a lesbian, No appeal.
Well, there's a difference between wanting to date and being one of those people that squeals or whatever over gay people of the opposite sex. I mean, there are plenty of guys that go bug-egged over lesbians but don't want to DATE them. It's the exact same for those girls...they like the gay men gay. -shrugs- I don't get it either. ;p
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:56 pm
annaastrid anti-gen annaastrid I think it has something to do with the feminine/masculine and the dichotomy between them, especially in our society today.
Why? Just wondering, It has always confused me deeply. I wouldn't ever want to date a lesbian, No appeal.
Well, there's a difference between wanting to date and being one of those people that squeals or whatever over gay people of the opposite sex. I mean, there are plenty of guys that go bug-egged over lesbians but don't want to DATE them. It's the exact same for those girls...they like the gay men gay. -shrugs- I don't get it either. ;p
I have herd of guys that have wanted to see girls 'Kiss' or do other things to each-other but not be lesbian. I haven't herd of a guy who is attracted to lesbians unless it's the "Only if i can watch" sort of thing.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 8:01 pm
Old wounds... Yeah, I definately have my share of those. Some of them I've already revealed to Josh off-site, and I might as well bring them up here. Maybe it'll help to lessen the impact of some of them. Now, I'm not going to post them all at the same time, as that would just take up too much room- and I really don't feel like typing that much all at once. If you have any questions, feel free to ask; I'll answer them as best I can.
One of the biggest things for me, even though it's such a small thing, it seems, is I get told almost every day by someone, sometimes several people, that I'm a great guy. Now, don't get me wrong- I know this is a good thing that I have so many people telling me this, but it always catches me just a little off-guard when someone tells me that. One of the customers at the grocery store that I work at even told me today that I'm one of his favorite baggers because I'm always so nice. I almost stopped in my tracks when he said that. Instead, I forced myself to continue on and replied, "I try to be." It's the truth, though; I want to be a kind-hearted, nice, honest person, so that's what I strive for each and every day after I get up, even on my bad days.
Even so, though, it's sometimes a struggle for me to do so with how I grew up. My entire life- even now, at age 21- my dad has always given me more problems about doing something "wrong," which is anything that isn't done the way he thinks it should be done. Even if my sister did something "wrong," if I did something "wrong" at about the same time, he'd always target me. Every. Single. Time. So, my whole life- until I left Illinois for two years after graduating from high school in '06- my dad has indirectly and inadvertantly told me that I'm a worthless peice of s**t.
I've been fighting with his voice always telling me that I'm worthless my whole life, and it still makes me want to break down whenever I hear someone congratulate me or tell me that I'm a good person because my dad was never there to tell me that. In a lot of ways, I wish he had been. In many other ways, though, I'm glad he wasn't; he's a huge part of the reason that I am who I am today; probably more so than anyone else and to a far greater extent than even I realize.
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:33 am
I'm not quoting, as I am replying to a lot of different things in this post.
Males exceptionally rarely want to date a real lesbian. They might think that party lesbians are fun (who aren't real lesbians and often aren't really even bisexuals. So far as I can tell, their primary reason for spontaneously making out with other girls is for attention and to appear more attractive to the opposite gender. Adding credence to my argument is the music video to the song "I Kissed a Girl," by...Whoever that was) and who think that dating a lesbian would be like living in a porn video they saw 24/7. Both are, needless to say, tragically uninformed and incredibly poorly rationalized...Really, inexcusably stupid. Anyone with a brain that undeveloped is too intellectually young to be watching porn, but you'll see such rationale commonly.
Women are very different in that matter. Often the very things that make a man unattainable are the things that are more desirable. Be it gay men, married men, etc. I think the reasons for these things are quite varied, but unless asked to elaborate I won't get into it, as speculating on one's own gender and the opposite gender carry vastly differing levels of offense.
Adoption was never a wound for me, as I always knew my biological mother and I was never hurt over the fact that I was adopted.
The fact is that I would be hesitant to say that I have any old wounds. If I have to think of it for a significant amount of time and still come up empty that does suggest to me that I have no significant or substantial "Old wounds" to speak of.
I would guess that it has to do with how I deal with things. While I am not saying that the only people who have old wounds in this sense are the people that run from things, some things take longer for some to deal with than others. In the meantime, elements that are an unsightly part of the healing process are compartmentalized and pushed aside, if not buried, in order for life to go on as usual...Is this correct?
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:16 pm
I can't listen to certain songs without nearly bursting into tears. I'm a VERY music orientated person, and I attatch emotions to certain songs. Everytime I hear Papa Roach songs I have to turn them off because I always remember what I did to a friend of mine a few years ago. Even though we're friends again, I still can't get over how horrible I was to her when she really didn't deserve it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:16 pm
Certain songs will remind me of my first girlfriend. I still get a little teary at a few. Smells definately take me back, too. And Valentine's Day, but that's not relating to my ex..
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