Welcome to Gaia! ::

It seemed that everyone like when I posted the jokes so I ask King Le Roi if we could have a offical joke posting thread for guild fun and he said yes. So in this thread just post your favorite jokes to share with everyone! Here is one to start:

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks short of a load, or his elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

All my jokes are wrong and sick.

Thats ok just as long as no one is offended by it and put a warning before you post it....

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."

A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!

I found this joke in a joke book of mine.

One day a little boy found a monster and so he took it to the police station.
"You should take that monster to the museum," said the police officer.
The next day, the little boy returned with the monster.
"I thought you took that monster to the museum," the police officer said.
"I did," said the boy, "and today I'm taking him to the movies."

***Warning!! Maybe be offensive to some people!!***
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to
enter a password.. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try
for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when
the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly
obvious to his wife that he was keying in:

P...
E...
N...
I...
S...

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer
replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

Okay, maybe someone can help me out with this one. My dad's been telling it for years and I have no idea what it means.

Q:What do you call a Scottsma with a lamb under each arm?
A: A Playboy.

Me: ??????????????