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 Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:42 pm
Hi everyone, I could use some advice on some issues I've been dealing with regarding my 13 year old daughter.
Lately she has been getting quite the smart mouth on her, very disrespectful. In the past, she does have a history of sometimes talking back or whatever, nothing more than any other kid though. However, it's been much more than that these days, and I'm not 100% sure on how to deal with it. I have a 17 year old daughter as well, but never went through this with her (just lucky, I guess). I have tried taking away privileges (the computer and cell phone mainly), which hasn't solved the problem so far. We've also had several talks where I try to explain why this behavior is unacceptable and offer alternatives, which she seems to understand but it all flies out the window the minute she gets upset. I realize that adolescence is a trying time, but I want to teach her to express herself constructively. She has a habit of throwing/breaking things when angry or upset, or of just crying hysterically out of nowhere. I am considering counseling for her, but my insurance is crap and it's been hard to get anything going.
(edit: I should also say that I have probably been too lenient with her, due to the fact that she is the youngest, and because I often feel like she is misunderstood by others in the family. She is in general extremely sweet, caring, and giving - to the point where I feel like other people take advantage of her. I think I have let her get away with things that I wouldn't normally because I feel overprotective of her feelings.)
So, any parents been through this? What worked or didn't work? Any ideas are appreciated!
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:37 pm
First off, I'm not a mother of a teen, so if you want to disregard my advice, lol.
Anyways, I think consistency is just the main thing. Take away priveledges, but allow her at the same time to earn something with positivity.
And I know the struggle of finding a good counselor with insurance and such. Perhaps there is a teen group (and I know some balk when I suggest this) at church or school where there's an adult mediator and fellow teens can talk about it. At least, till you can find something to work with your insurance. I know having a counselor when I was a teen really made a difference for me.
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Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:54 pm
Thanks, I think a teen group would be a great idea! I will look into it. Thanks for your help!
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