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 Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 10:44 pm
Love
I love you and all that you are.
I hold you close to my heart.
I am yours as long as you want.
Forever you shall have my heart.
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Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 8:25 pm
The minimalism is cool, though it might be cool to capitalize on that minimalism by using unusual, intentional line breaks to stress certain words and affect connotation, plus then you can keep the reader from thinking you're rhyming heart with heart smile
If you don't care about minimalism, you could always expand it and really show these things, whether through imagistic metaphores, or tying it all together in a real scene.
I like the intentionality of the feeling, I just need some reality to prove that it's true smile
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