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I did not write this. I found it on Live Journal.

Livio's outlook on the L word.



FIRST THING WE MUST ESTABLISH: Livio is really dumb when it comes to understanding feelings and emotions and the like, particularly his own.

Second thing: while usually very honest with other people, he is pretty damn good at lying to himself. Or, lying is probably wrong word there, but he has a knack for closing his eyes and plugging his ears and going LA LA LA CAN’T HEAR YOU when it comes to dealing with things that he really does not want to deal with.

And I’m breaking things up so I don’t confuse myself as much. Background run through:

Family Love

So canon gives out next to nothing on what Livio’s family life was like, although it’s obviously something that helped shape a lot of his character. All the information available is given on two pages which establishes that Livio was 1) abused, 2) developed a split personality (ie Razlo) in order to deal with it and 3) that Razlo eventually took over and killed both of Livio’s parents. My own head canon is that Livio’s Dad smacked him around while his Mom mostly just ignored him. There was no affection, no warm fuzzy feelings of unconditional love. Livio was a very unwanted child and knew it, which is what ended up kicking off the view he has of himself as being worthless, since, you know, parents hating you for no real reason kind of hurts where you keep your self-esteem.


Romantic Love

After Livio’s parents died he ended up living at an orphanage where his life significantly improves. A big part of that is because he falls in love with a girl there named Jasmine. Now he was only like. Ten or eleven at the time so it’s more likely he was just crushing fast and hard rather then falling in actual love. But for someone who hasn’t felt too much fondness for anyone in life thus far, it was a big deal. He even tells Wolfwood that caring about Jasmine made him he figure out that the reason he wasn’t loved by anyone was because he didn’t love anyone himself.

This was all nice and cute for awhile until Razlo manifests again for some reason and kills off the local puppy. Livio wakes up with blood on his hands and is blamed for it by a lot of the kids, and even though Melanie tells him that she believes he didn’t do it, Livio takes off anyways. Before leaving he realizes Jasmine is now afraid of him, which I think impacted his decision to go. Her importance to him is further established later on when he ends up thinking about her about the same time he basically decides he doesn’t want to live anymore. I went back to dig up the monologue he does during that part because I am a bad person. Recall that he is getting beaten to all hell while this is going on:

”I mean… how is this fun? Are you just bored? Beating up a wilful boy is clear proof that you have too much time on your hands. I give up. Just get it over with. I have nowhere else to be, nowhere to go. It won’t change anything. [flash panel of Jasmine] I just don’t care anymore!”

So she was important. I think losing the connection of “this is someone I care about” hit him pretty hard.


Platonic Love (ie friendships)

There wasn’t a lot of it. Livio was a probably a kid that kept to himself unless he was dragged into playing games with everyone else, so he didn’t form friendships too easily. Wolfwood was likely one of the few people he would go and hang out with willingly. And I while I don’t think they were the bestest buddies ever, they were probably fairly close. Livio at very least respected and appreciated him.

What’s more important though is that after leaving the orphanage, Livio didn’t have a chance to connect with ANYONE for about five or six years. There was Master C, but I think it was Razlo who actually felt a greater fondness towards him then Livio, who mostly just really liked that there was someone around to give him a sense of purpose.

SO his experiences in love are that he is completely deprived of it, which hurts, or that he feels it but ends up losing it, which also hurts. Then he spends years, practically in solitude, with nothing to give him any hint that o hay that’s not how it always is.

Moving on to how things are now:


People ♥-ing Livio

Livio finds the idea of someone loving him to be highly unlikely.

While he doesn’t believe it with quite the raging certainty that he once did, Livio is still pretty damned convinced that he is worthless. It’s something that’s been pounded into him too hard for him to ever completely get over, although he’s at the point where it doesn’t bother him as much. To him it’s like… he knows he’s worthless in the way that someone who is currently wearing pants knows they are wearing them. It’s no big deal, you just are.

....yeah great comparison there. But the point is that overall, he’s at ease with being worthless so long as no one rubs his face in it. But even if he is zen with the idea, it’s not really a great thing because uh, KIND OF A CRAPPY SELF IMAGE TO HAVE.

Boils down to: why would someone love a worthless person?


Livio ♥-ing people

Consciously Livio is unsure if he’s capable of love. He knows he is pretty messed up, a little insane and does realise (to and extent) that he is kind of emotionally retarded. But –shock!-- he does love people! Never in a romantic sense because that may be out of his range, but platonically? Yeah, it’s there for a few. Livio never slaps the “L” label on it though since he has done a good job of convincing himself that no, he is not capable of caring that much. There’s also a part of him that’s just… scared. It’s not a feeling he really gets, it's weird and different and last time DIDN’T GO OVER SO WELL so what if he does end up caring that much and losing it AGAIN and baaaaw. It’s easier if he remains at a certain level of detachment.

Case and point: A looooong while back Wolfwood told Livio that he considered him a brother. And while Livio admitted it made him happy to know that, he never said he felt the same. Which – he does! Wolfwood is certainly the closest thing Livio has ever had to family, but admitting that essentially means he is admitting that he loves him which… isn’t really a good feeling right now. To avoid examining it he just stays with the ‘you’re my friend and I care about you’ thing because that is safer and more understandable. And while it’s not impossible that he’ll ever go beyond that, he’s not really willing to do so on his own.

Boils down to: Livio is dumb and emotionally stunted.

No. That's just what he's like... And besides killing Wolfwood, how can you hate Livio?? He's awesome!

I'd say he 's a man who's recovering from what he once was, and is rediscovering himself....


And COME ON!!! He's just SOOOOOO cool!!!

Livio's a great character! And if someone says he's a bad guy for killling Nicholas, just say" It wasn't Livio, it was Razlo." And thats a fact.