sweatdrop heart ok so here is a poem that i am working on and would like some feedback.... and maybe some help. Its called "These Walls"
I woke up to find myself in a room
A dark room with little light
My bed, once a resting place
Is now a raft in a dark sea at night
These walls close in around my body
They collapse on my fallen spirit
Why they do, i cannot say
But what they say, i can hear it
They say to me that my life is cold
For the light i had has now left me
My heart is broken, they say
Since you are no longer with me
The days we had were great
The nights we had were fun
But now they say i have no meaning
and they then hand me a gun
These walls now begin to sing
A song so lonely and scared
They sing about that day
That you left me loving impared
But now i found the exit
A light glimmering in the distance
I reach for the hole left in a wall
And climb without need of assitance
Next thing i know im here with you
Telling you of my story
And maybe now i can leave you here
Feeling tall in all my glory
[end]
Ok, so lemme have it, hate it or like it! plz give me the truth... 4laugh
 |
Reply
|
|
||||
|
||||||
|
|
|
|