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 Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:30 pm
Strait of Dover
I wouldn’t have thought it possible
If I hadn’t done it myself,
But the weights are only a number after a certain point.
Two more strokes to every one
As the salt water burns into my eyes again.
The light doesn’t change.
I can still see your silhouette,
Your brown hair flapping like
A flag
Eclipsing the clouded sky.
When my head goes under
I cant see
You
Anymore and, when I stay down
Long enough, I wonder if you’re still there.
Four minutes. Five Minutes.
I’m surprised I haven’t drowned.
I have to look at the photo of you to remember
your face,
(I kept it in a plastic bag so the sea wouldn’t take it, even if it took me.)
But that constant never changes
And I rip through the skin of this ocean,
Dragging myself along.
The smart ones just drown,
But we’re too brave.
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:32 pm
Ok... Where to start?
I absolutely love the way you meshed poetry and prose in this piece. A god number of people mangle grammar and through punctuation out the window, but you kept it. Very nice. But it's still broken into poetic lines, nice effect. The separation of ideas like that... I like it a lot.
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