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 Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 3:22 am
*All throughout the various parts of the world we know as Kapow, from the twisting and turning allies and dark corners the Vertipals call home to the sterile and functional Watchtower floating high above the Earth and even in the halls of Xavier's academy television screens blink to life, all displaying the same grinning harlequin in a business suit, seated at a mock news desk on a crudely constructed set.*
"Gooooooood Moooooooorning Kapooooooooow!" she croons, parodying the great Robin Williams, "I have a very special announcement for you!" Harley gets up from the desk and walks to a chalkboard where she's drawn very crude diagrams of what looks to be a bomb and some kind of chemical warfare device attached to it.
"I found the rest of Mistah J's smilex gas and I thought that I should do something with it, because it was just sittin' there gatherin' dust and moths and stuff. So I hid cleverly disguised bombs attached to cylinders of the gas all over this little world of ours and set timers for 72 hours."
Harley turns around and rummages through a box for a minute, finally emerging with a Batman sock puppet on one hand and makes a poor attempt at ventriloquism.
"You're insane, Harley Quinn! What makes you think you can get away with this?" she says in a low voice, speaking for the puppet.
"Because I'm insane, Batsy!"
"Touche," replies the puppet.
"You're supposed to ask me what my demands are, Batsy." Harley admonishes.
"I don't negociate with your kind, Harley Quinn," the puppet replies.
"But you hafta, I'm on TV and everything!"
The puppet shakes its head.
"Please?"
The puppet turns away from her in a haughty manner.
"I have Catwoman's phone number."
The puppet cautiously turns back to Harley.
"But you don't want to hear my demands so I don't know why I'm even telling you."
"You're trying to trick me," the puppet says.
Harley turns again and rummages through the box, coming back with a Catwoman sockpuppet on the other hand.
"She really does, Batman."
"Catwoman! My heart burns for you even though I'm too much of a tool to confess my undying love for you and whisk you away somewhere that isn't Gotham so that I won't foil Harley Quinn's master plans anymore."
"Just listen to her demands already, ya big lug." Replies the goggle clad puppet.
"Fine, let's hear your demands, Harley," the Batman puppet reluctantly says.
Harley clears her throat.
"I want Kapow to let my Pammy in so that we can play together and if you don't let her in before the time is up, you'll all die... LAUGHING. Because dying crying is just mean."
"Can I have Catwoman's phone number now?"
"Mortal peril makes me horny! Just take me now, big boy." The Catwoman puppet croons. The puppets start attacking each other in Harley's best attempt at snogging adding sucking and slurping noises for emphasis until the broadcasters finally regain control of the television signals and the transmission is cut off.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 3:32 am
Jeezus F*in Christ on a platter, that's just screwed up.
I like it.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 4:03 am
Did you forget about all the Kapowians who can survive in space?
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 9:36 am
And polls are redundant? At least I put the point of the post in the title.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 1:12 pm
Wally_West And polls are redundant? At least I put the point of the post in the title.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 2:07 pm
You know a simple "Thank you Raven for showing me how to attach a demolition charge to a biological agent so that I don't blow myself up," would have been nice, but no you just had to have your snogging sock puppets.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 4:58 pm
Harley.. you just had remind me that Selina left Gaia stare
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 5:03 pm
*Looks up from her sock puppets.* I'm so glad that you're always more concerned about your fetish for tight leather curving over an ample bossom than any mischief that I get up to. It makes my life so much easier. *Goes back to sock puppets*
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 6:07 pm
If this is a request to admit a new member, a proper lookup-able screen name or alternate name if known would be helpful.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 6:10 pm
Huh, well nothin fer me ta worry about.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 7:24 pm
Wally_West If this is a request to admit a new member, a proper lookup-able screen name or alternate name if known would be helpful.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:48 am
I've looked into it, and sad to say, my Flashey-sense is tingling about this one, buddy...I think our old 'friend' is back.
EDIT: Was also apparently the former Sarah Rainmaker.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:31 pm
Well s**t. I took a browse through her post history and I didn't notice any red flags. I'll be pissed if it is though. mad
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:57 pm
I'm 50/50 on it. There's almost too much past history of a blatant sexual (and sorta....scary) nature to match our old buddy, but he/she/it may just be getting off on being 'in-character'...
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:02 pm
Okay who that hell we talkin 'bout?
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Reply
