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 Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 pm
Prequel
It was midday in the Motoujamii: the hottest time of the day. A time that even the Simo retreated to the shadows for the few hours that the sun boiled anything on the sandy surface. Dancing waves of heat were rolling in the distance.
They resembled the ocean, although she had never seen it. Probably not the ideal thing to be watching while she was still struggling to get a hold of her weakened stomach. Even despite this strange bought, No’s feet were itching to move. She hated the idea of not being knee deep in work and chaos. She couldn’t be showing weakness like this, not when they were so close. But there was no way Kidondo would let her leave after the upset they’d had this morning.
She hated to admit it- but she wasn’t honestly sure she could leave even if she tried. It had been a task just to climb up the rocks to sun herself for a while. No way the Motoujamii would allow that kind of weariness out on the dunes. The quiet was driving her mad. She’d take any drama over this. Some lionesses might have relished the idea of spending the day out in the sun, but for No, it was agonizing.
What was wrong with her? She couldn’t possibly have been working too hard… had she? She had taken care of her wounds after her fight with Uzulu. They hadn’t even scarred! How had this happened? She was used to the desert sun by now, it certainly wasn’t heatstroke… had she eaten something bad? But, up until recently everything she ate had been shared with Kidondo. And he was fine! A bug, maybe?
But she didn’t feel sick. It felt…. It felt like something was off balance. She was dizzy and queasy and hungry all at the same time, but other then that she felt alright. If she was sick, wouldn’t she have a fever or a cough? And someone else would certainly be ill too. She couldn’t just catch some phantom illness…. These things didn’t come from nothing. And rogues were few and far between in their seclusion.
With a deep sigh, No sunk her head against her paws. But most of all, she hated the idea she might appear foolish or weak to Kidondo. He’d told her not to work so hard… she hoped he didn’t think she couldn’t handle this. She hoped he did not doubt her. She wasn’t sure she could survive seeing regret in those yellow eyes. What was she going to do?
What if this never went away?
“She is here!” Came a voice, so strange and sharp against the drone of her own melancholy thoughts. A flare of irritation. If she was going to be so sick and pathetic, couldn’t everyone have the common decency to leave her the hell alone?
“What?” No bristled. As soon as she had so curtly responded, she regretted it. But, the other was already talking again before she could apologize.
“Oof.” Kaanga said, and a paw appeared on the rock ledge. “Nothing, nothing. She was just seeing No around.” The sound of sand and rocks hitting the ground below, and the white princess managed to pull herself up onto the bridge. She sunk her claws in and pulled the rest of her body up, finally coming to a rest just before the black cat. “Ah! There. Not a good climber… I’m afraid. Uzulu and I used to live far up around here. Always had problems climbing up, but I think he liked that we could see down below and-“
Why did Kaanga have to emerge from her angst just in time to annoy her in hers? No groaned slowly and put a paw against her head. “Kaanga, I’m sorry. This probably isn’t a good time. I think Kidondo is down at the den, if you’re-“
“Oh! No, no. I was looking for No.” She smiled. Hehe, No no no. She liked that. She’d always liked that name! “I was hoping I could see the little ones. I spoke to them last night, but I couldn’t quite here what they were saying. Talked to fast, and someone else was saying…. Well, she doesn’t know. But, you know how that is.”
A slow pulse in her tail, and No shifted. “What little ones Kaanga?” She was aware that some of the females in the pride had recently been expecting- but she hadn’t heard of anyone actually littering yet. Unless she’d missed it… which even further dampened her mood.
Kaanga shifted her head to the side, the small gold coins in her headdress clinking. Her face was a hard one to read. It passed through so many strange emotions all at once. “…but?” Kaanga spoke, sounding almost unfortunate. “No’s little ones! That’s what they said anyways. You were there too!” She furrowed her brow. “We went to see the round rocks together.”
No sighed and shifted her whiskers. “It was just a dream, Kaanga. I don’t have any kids.”
Her face fell, as though she was suddenly realizing something. “Oh… I was so sure... Thought maybe Kidondo just forgot to tell Kaanga.” Her tail swayed. “You were happy though. That’s why I thought…”
A pang. She really didn’t have the right to snap at Kaanga. She was a strange little nut of a firekin, but she was Kidondo’s sister. And she’d been through possibly more then anyone over the course of this revolution. Her own sons were still missing, weren’t they? Presumed to have left with the Safi, in any case. “I’m sorry Kaanga. If we had children, you’d be the first to know, I promise.”
"She is sorry," Kaanga smiled, bowing her head. “I… she just misses-“
“I’m sorry about your boys…” No spoke softly. “Truly, Kaanga.”
The white princess smiled, her yellow eyes flashing. “She knows. They were just so lovely as kids … it’s hard to think they’re not still here. She thought that they’d never go. You get used to having these tiny people with you, loving you… the dream reminded me of that. It was strange… she thinks. It felt very real, you know?”
The black cat listened to the other’s words quietly. She didn’t know what it was like to be a mother- but she could sympathize with her own mother’s pains. When she left, she had been so young... No could only imagine what Kaanga felt knowing that her children were now the enemy. “Maybe the dream was telling you that life would go on?” She offered.
Kaanga seemed to consider this. “Hrm… she thought maybe…” Something about the little children. Something in their eyes… she had spoken to No in the dream. She rarely dreamed coherently. No, no… she was sure this dream… it would happen. It had to! “Maybe your right. She thinks it is only dreams.”
No nodded. “Dreams can be funny like that.”
The princess moved from her spot, and looked back to No. “Thank you, No. For listening to her dream. She’ll let the black cat rest now.”
“Don’t worry about it, Kaanga.” No smiled tiredly. She certainly was a strange girl- but a good one. She hoped dreams like that wouldn’t continue to plague her. An awfully funny things to dream of, however… She couldn't imagine taking a horde of kids going on a day-trip.
“No?” Kaanga spoke, stopping her departure for a moment.
“Mm?” The regent asked.
“I think she would make a good mother.” She added, and then moved out of view.
No shook her head, chuckling lowly against her crossed paws. Her a mother! Like that would ever-
…
Oh hell no.
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:13 pm
---------------------------
It took several hours of carefully examined soul searching to finally decide on whether or not this sudden epiphany was true. More then a few times she'd gone back on her decision and tried to disprove it. She had been careful! Very careful, even. She certainly wasn't a foolish lioness- had she accidentally gotten herself pregnant during the rebellion, it could have posed for a speedy death in battle. No, that was something she had been sure to manage closely.
But... the more No thought about it, the more she realized that in all the celebration and work to pull this pride out of chaos, she had not exactly been keeping track of time well. And that err left a possibility. And that possibility was... likely, to say the least. More likely then a phantom illness. More likely then wounds which had healed nicely suddenly coming back to haunt her.
And then there was... this feeling. It was almost as though the moment she'd let the thought in her mind, suddenly everything about her was telling her it to be true. Maternal instinct? Could she even HAVE that? And even as she wondered it, something in her was saying, [Yes, yes you do.]
And the scariest thing of all, was that she wasn't all that scared. Well- at least one half of her wasn't. The half that had suddenly realized all this to be true had reclined into the back of her consciousness, waiting for this 'logical' side to come to terms with it. She wanted to freak out though. Her mind could concoct several thousand reasons why she should. How the heck was she going to be a mother? She had a pride to run! It wasn't like Kidondo was going to stay at home and mind a bunch of kids while she went off and did her rounds. And she remembered the hell she'd put her mother through. She didn't think anything could put more grays on the head then having a daughter run off with some disposed prince of a warring kingdom. With the intention of taking it over! Good god.
....And despite it, she wasn't afraid. She knew all these worries. She wanted to agonize over them. And even though apart of her was, the rest of her seemed to settle down. Relief even. She wasn't sick. She wasn't dying. She just had a undetermined amount of strange creatures living inside her. No wonder why she'd been so dizzy waking up this morning- just a day earlier she'd been out meandering in a sandstorm.
There was only one thing that troubled her. What about Kidondo? What was he going to say about all of this? Surely he had to have known this was a possibility... but, who was to say he wanted kids? They were still kids themselves in some regards, despite all they'd accomplished. Would he be angry? Maybe he expected her to keep this under control but...
And still, that quiet. Was this how her mother felt, she wondered? She wished... she wished she'd had her around. She wished she could go talk to her this moment and tell her what to do. No might have mastered battle, war and politics, but the simple idea of starting a family was alien. Nothing could have been further from what she was used to.
Slowly, she came closer upon the den. It was getting near sundown, and Kidondo should have been around waiting for their nightly hunt. One that she had a feeling she'd have to sit out. But... even in that, she felt suddenly calm. She hadn't been looking for an excuse to rest- but, having these little things surely was going to force her to do so. As wild as she might have been, she wasn't going to risk apart of her and Ondo because she was stubborn.
She stopped infront of the den, crossing her paw slightly. Was she sure? [Damn, she was.] Maybe she shouldn't tell him. Wait until... when? She had them? No, she couldn't do that. She couldn't have him thinking there was something wrong with her. "Kidondo?" She called, her tired green eyes fluttering about.
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:48 am
Kidondo had been fraught with worry.
He’d not wanted to leave No alone for a single moment and it had pained him to do so. He wasn’t sure if there was any such thing as a lion or lioness with healing capabilities but he wished that there was and he wished they lived in the pride. But alas, there was no such person. No one to tell him that his mate was okay. The fact that she might be sick scared him more than anything else in the world. Scared him more than the knowledge that he’d have to kill his own father – though he wouldn’t say that out loud.
Yes, he’d deeply loved his father but No was his world. Without her…well, he wasn’t going to think about that.
He blamed himself, really. He should have kept a closer eye on her, made sure that she wasn’t working too hard. She was like him in that respect, always out about and doing things, always busy, never stopping. He’d have to make sure that Kibela kept an eye on her when his duty tore him away from her.
If he knew the real reason for his sickness…well, he’d probably still be worried, but at least it wouldn’t be weighed down with the fear of not knowing. She’s young and strong, he told himself, she’ll beat this. But he didn’t know for sure and the uncertainty was driving him mad.
Unlike his mate, Kidondo hadn’t noticed that there were females in the pride expecting cubs. If he tried to think back, he’d probably find that he couldn’t recall meeting or even seeing a pregnant lioness before – though it was more probable that he hadn’t thought much of it as a cub. Besides that, he didn’t know the illness that came with bearing cubs nor how uncomfortable it could make the expectant mother. Maybe if he’d paid more attention, suspicions would have been roused, but with the recent promotions and getting things in place, his attention had been fully diverted from the one thing that could have put a stop to this fear.
Then, after a long day, he’d returned to find No gone. Gone. He’d searched the shadows of the den in case his eyes were playing tricks on him, but there was no sign of her at all. Gone! Panic started to set in – an uncomfortable and terrible emotion that he’d never experienced before in his life. His throat was closing up, his heart was hammering violently. Then, after a brief moment, he’d managed to talk himself down – enough to think clearly at least. If something had happened to her then a pride member would have sought him out by now, surely? So, she’d gone for a walk to clear her head and she’d be back soon. Yes. He’d just wait here until she got back and then he could fuss over her and make her promise not to go wandering off again – though she’d probably clout him one for saying it. He knew No. But that’s what worried him. She needed to take it easy and that went against the very fabric of what made her, her.
He sighed.
How long had he been waiting, now?
There was no way to predict how he was going to take this news. He wouldn’t be angry, but it wouldn’t be pure joy either. Parenthood was something that they’d never discussed and Kidondo knew he didn’t feel ready for it. He could set up an army, he could protect his lands from enemies but give him a cub and he’d cower away. He knew how to deal with adults but kids were…well they were pretty much a different species!! Besides that, his father hadn’t had the best luck with his litter. A fierce daughter who’d kill anyone who got in her way, a poor daughter wrought with confusion and not to mention his eldest son…the one to rid him of his life. Between his childhood and No’s, what kind of rebellious monsters were they going to end up with? However, it wasn’t all bad, he knew. He’d seen good relationships between parent and child and he knew that it was something he wanted eventually…though possibly not as soon as this.
But none of this was going through his mind right now because he genuinely had no idea.
His life was just about to be turned upside-down.
And as No approached he was lying at the back of the den, his eyes half-closed. It seemed as if he were between the realms of wakefulness and sleep. His body ached for sleep and yet his mind would not allow it. Not until she was home safely.
Her voice jerked him into full wakefulness and he rose quicker than he thought possible. “No?” He moved up to the entrance to meet her, his voice mixed with worried grumbles and happy purrs. “There you are. I was worried. I thought you’d be here resting when I got back.” He touched his nose to hers. “Did you go far? Do you feel better?” He stepped back then to let her into the den. “You really should have been resting, you know.” His voice was gentle, almost hesitant. Could it be that he was afraid of her reaction to his fussing?
Yes, most definitely.
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:16 am
She felt a wave of weariness come over as he rushed towards her. Having an endless internal monologue about the subject was a far different thing then suddenly having to voice it. She was glad to see him though. Just seeing the mixture of worry and joy on his face was more then enough to confirm her decision. He had to know. For better or worse, she couldn’t keep this from him.
“I’m sorry,” No said softly as he pressed his head against hers. The feeling of him against her was comforting; and she hung there for a moment before weakly moving behind him. “I just couldn’t stay put.” That, and she didn’t want to accidentally throw up yesterday’s food in their carefully ordered den. As if she needed anything else to agonize over.
She sunk down onto the cave floor, and sighed. “A little bit better, actually. Still a little dizzy- Tired, mostly.” How was she supposed to even say this? Oh god, what kind of children would they have! Even the thought of it brought a dull throb to her head, and she passed her paw over it. But it had to be done. There wasn’t any way of taking this back.
No looked back up at him, and shifted a bit so she was more comfortable where she lay. Despite her thoughts, her face seemed… softer then it usually was. Not serious, not embattled. She let her head fall down on her paws.
“Kidondo, we may have a problem.” She started.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:22 am
“It’s okay. You know me. I worry.” He shifted to give her room then settled close to her, moving to nuzzle up against her cheek for a moment. He wished he could do something to take away the sickness. But what could he do? All he could do was hunt and that didn’t seem to do much good.
“I’m glad you’re feeling a little bit better.” A promising sign. “Maybe you’ll feel even better after a good long sleep.”
He lifted his head back then to observe her, noting her expression. It was strange; maybe a little weary? He wasn’t sure whether it was a good sign or not but the nervous fluttering started in his chest. Then her head dropped to her paws and he lowered his position so that his face was close to her own.
“A problem?”
His heart squeezed painfully then, so painful he thought he might die there and then. What sort of problem? Had she somehow figured out that she had a terrible disease? Something that couldn’t be cured with good rest and food? She couldn’t leave him. What would he do without her? That horrible, twisting panic seared through him and it must have showed in his eyes, though he did well to tame his expression.
“No, what’s wrong?”
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:29 pm
Here it was.
She stared at him quietly, considering the repercussions of this. A lot would change in these next few minutes. It was amazing, actually. It seemed such a simple thing. Almost everyone went through it, and yet she'd never... even considered the fact that she could be a mother. Her dreams and ambitions had always been that she and Kidondo would succede in taking back the Motoujamii. They would rule justly, and they would set up a great empire that would last even after they died. But... her own progency...
"I..." She hesitated for a moment, twisting her tail. "I think... the reason that I've been sick, I mean-" Grargh. By the time she'd managed this out, the little hellions would be crawling around them! She sucked in a breath and crossed her paws, doing her best to look confident despite the weariness in her face. "I'm pregnant, Kidondo."
And then she paniced. s**t, she couldn't take it back now. With her heart pounding, she started to try and disclaim this accusation. "I mean, it's still early and, I don't know. I've never... but... I know. I know I am. It's like it was there all along. I can't explain it. I'm sorry...Ondo, but I don't know- I mean... I know we didn't plan for kids or anything and-"
"But... I'm having them." She swallowed. "And I didn't want to worry you-"
And now... what did he think? Panic clutched at her throat.
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Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:38 am
He felt as if he were dangling on the edge of the cliff, waiting for a word that might push him to a terrible fall.
And then...
I'm pregnant, Kidondo.
The words didn't fully have time to settle in before No spoke again. Her voice was full of panic. He'd never heard her like this before. This wasn't his calm, collected mate who always knew what to do or say. His mind raced to keep up with what she was saying. Some apologies and something about it being too early. And then that word, a word that he managed to connect to that first statement.
The statement briefly lost under the panic of words.
Kids. Pregnant.
Oh. My. God.
It hit home.
They were...going to be...? Oh...dear lord. How had they managed to get themself into this? He didn't know how to be a parent! He didn't have time to be a parent. How could he...how could he...?
And then he realised he hadn't said anything at all and he lifted his eyes to meet No's, hoping that he could find something to say. Something to express what he was feeling. But there wasn't a word for it. He was excited, afraid, shocked and nervous all at the same time. He...he needed to sit down.
So he did.
And when he gathered the courage to speak he felt shaky and weak. It was as if he'd suddenly contracted a mysterious illness too. But No's illness wasn't mysterious. She was having children. "You're...pregnant." He repeated, his eyes glazed. "Are you...sure?" He winced. Ugh, way to be supportive, Kidondo. "I guess that explains the sickness and everything." He wanted to ask how she'd found out but had a feeling he might regret it.
He shifted and met her gaze again. "We're...going to be parents. This is...quite a big deal."
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Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:14 am
It was funny how fast panic could turn into maternal instinct. No twitched her tail and looked to the side, thinking carefully how to phrase her words. She knew what Kidondo was going through- she’d just spent the past few hours having her own mental breakdown. But now… now that it was out, now that he knew, she found herself a bit more confident. These were her kids. She had no idea how to be a mother, but these were her kids, and she wasn’t going to apologize for them again.
“I’m sure.” She responded. “I don’t know how but… I know it. You can feel it.” She admitted. Well. She couldn’t actually feel them yet- but she knew they were there. As if part of her consciousness was linked to the unborn cubs. It was instinctual. Like an itch, she knew it was there.
“It is,” She hesitated. Bigger, possibly, then anything they’d ever done. “I don’t know… what we’ll do with this. But I’m having them. God knows what they'll be like, but... They're our children, Kidondo.”
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Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:53 am
The calmness had returned, or it seemed to have in any case.
Kidondo blinked and released a breath to free his lungs of that horrible panicky feeling. Time to think about this logically now. It wasn't as if they could just turn a blind eye and pretend it wasn't happening. Likewise there was nothing they could do to stop it. The wheels were already in motion and soon they would be parents.
But how soon?
He didn't dare ask. One problem at a time.
"I'm...sorry." He replied finally, drawing closer, seeking comfort from it. "This has all happened a bit suddenly. But I'm glad. Glad that you're not ill in the sick sense of the word. Glad that...that we know what's happened and why you're not yourself. I've been worrying myself apart just thinking about it." He swallowed back the lump in his throat.
"Our children..." He repeated softly. "I guess...surprise aside, it might be nice to share our lives with...a family. Cubs. Its what normal lions do, right? We've not had much normality in our lives, have we? Maybe that's why I'm more scared of this than facing an army of traditionalists." He gave a nervous laugh.
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Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 6:43 am
She smiled and lay her face back down upon her paws. "I'm glad. I'm not sure if it's the maternal instinct talking or... but, I was so worried that there was..." That she wasn't strong enough. Her ego could accept this brief time of weakness on account of the cubs. But if it had been long standing... "Well, I guess I should know myself better. I was so afraid of what it might have been that I never even thought it was something normal."
But he was right. Nothing had ever been normal in their lives. "I don't know what we'll do, honestly." She laughed softly. "I can remember how were were as kids. We were bad enough separately... can you imagine what a little No-Ondo is going to be like?" She sighed, and shut her eyes. It was hugely terrifying, but... she was pleased.
"...I wish I could see my mother though." No admitted quietly. "I don't know how to be a mom, Ondo. My mother did it so well but I always took it for granted. Kids are a lot different then an army." Although, maybe they weren't...
But, not wanting to worry him even further, she tried to laugh off her own concerns. "But... I don't know. It's not... terrible. There has to have been worse parents. We have a relatively safe home, and a pride full of people we can pawn the hellions off on. I think Kaanga's already stalking us."
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Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:34 pm
He moved up against her and nuzzled her softly. "Well, better late than never. When things like this happens it makes me realise how little I know about life. Natural things such as being a parent, raising cubs...hunting and protecting a family that doesn't just consist of you and me." He shook his head slightly. "I've got a lot to learn about life."
He thought back to being a cub. He was an odd one, never speaking much, never laughing or playing. Just watching and listening intently. "They'll be fiersome cubs. What with your smarts and my...worrying skills?" He chuckled. "They'll keep us on our toes, I think. Probably more than the traditionalists ever would."
He paused. "Your mother? Do you...do you think we could contact her, maybe? It's a long way but maybe she wouldn't mind if she knew she had grandkids on the way? It'd be nice for her to know that she could visit." He paused. "Everyone has to be a first time parent. Your mother had cubs before you came along? I guess...I guess its something you learn by trial and error. Either way, I'm sure you'll be a fantastic mother. And, in the meantime there are some other females in the pride who have been mothers before."
He paused again and a smile stretched across his face. "Exactly. Come to think of it, Kaanga has been a mother, a good mother too, I'd bet. Maybe having some nieces and nephews to keep out of trouble will help bring her out of this slump. I know she can say mad things, sometimes, but she'd probably be good to get advice from, too."
In fact the more he thought about this rationally, the more he realised it didn't have to be a terrible, scary thing. "We're not alone. There'll be others who can help us too."
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:28 am
She let out a groan and put her paw on her head. But it was done in drama- a smile was still hesitantly strung across her face. "I'm trying not to think about it." Truthfully, she didn't know what she'd do if one of her children left her. Left her like she had left her mother and Kidondo had left his father. But she didn't even know these kids? She shook it off. "We'll just have to be sure they don't take over." She affirmed. But already she had a feeling that while No and Kidondo could be quite stern leaders, they might fall short of stoicism with their offspring.
"I worry..." She breathed. What if they didn't like her? She'd never been a really fun person. She could make jabs and she had her own humorous ways about her, but she wasn't much for fun and games. "I worry about stupid things. It can't be that hard. Almost everyone has children... Kaanga has children, and they seemed to turn out fine." She corrected.
Her mother! Oh, she would have loved to see her before it. But No shook her head. "I don't think the desert is any place for my mother. She's getting old, I fear... I wouldn't want to strain her any more then I already have. But it would have been nice. She was good at mothering. I remember, that time we went to her before leaving... she was so worried." No frowned. "But she still let me go. I don't know if I could let me go..."
Her face grew stern. "But, no. There's nothing I can do. I can't worry about this. We can't... we have a good, strong pride. It's only right we grow up a bit, isn't it?" Her face fell with some lingering uncertainty, and she gazed aside.
She took in a slow breath, and rested her eyes. Her head was still throbbing. "I...need to rest for a bit. I'm sure after a good nap I'll have a clearer head about all of this."
They had to-!
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