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I'm 17, feel the heat of society and poverty. I have no job, no girlfriend, my Collage future looks messy. The rest of my High School time seems boring to me. I can't afford anything on my own, own a car that needs some fixes done on it. My life is just tumbling deeper into a hole I feel I can't escape from. So many temptations, but I do my best to fight it off. Life just sucks right now.....

Thoughts of suicide are coming back, but no need to worry, I'm too pathetic to do it, I think things through too well and yet I wish I had the guts to do it. I never thought I'd get this bad, but here I am. Sometimes I feel that my own body is killing itself slowly when I get these emotional break downs. If I'm not heard from again, then my body gave out, if you do, I get to continue to suffer through day and day out wondering whats the point in going until I naturally let go....

Edit: I feel better now, guess it was just a episode you know?

Thanks, the reassuring ,makes me feel better. smile I didn't mean school was boring to where I'd drop out, I won't drop out(No point to if I have a A&B average, you know?)The economy makes me get depressed even more.

Having no car, no job, and no money is not a reason to die. And it certainly doesn't mean you won't get anywhere in life or that you can't contribute to society. Most of us are feeling the pinch right now. But I assume you still have food, shelter, clothing, running water, and heat, which means you have what you need.

I am 25 years old. I have no money. I've never had a car or even learned to drive. After college I was so poor I could not afford a real heater or a hot water heater. I lived in New York state for one year without either one. I used to bathe every day by heating water on the stove. And I had a little electric heater. They're kind of dangerous though, so I would have to turn it off when I went to work. Sometimes when I came home the pipes would be frozen. There was a hole in one wall big enough for stray cats to come in through. And you know what? It really wasn't a big deal because I didn't make it a big deal. Your problems are only as big as you make them.

People are very resilient, and if you have the internet and are living in America, then you're living better than millions of people in this world. So that leads me to wonder if there's more to this. Since these feelings come and go, and since they are so strong for you, you actually might have something like clinical depression or bipolar disorder. Stuff like that is no fun, and it can be a danger to your life too if it gets you so down that you're thinking about suicide. Have you talked to a professional about this? Maybe even a school nurse or school counselor?

You're 17? It might not seem like it right now, but you're still a kid!

You have plenty of time to get a job. I didn't get my first job (not counting babysitting) until I was 19 years old, and even then, I think I was working like five or ten hours a week for $5 an hour. After college I worked, but finding a job with decent pay and decent hours was really difficult. It did take some time. You might have to look through the classified section for a long time and send out a lot of applications. That's not unusual.

And at 17 years old, it'll still be "socially acceptable" for you to live with your parents for many years to come. Many people stay at home (or in a dorm that their parents pay for xp ) until they're in their 20s. My father wanted me to stay home until I was about 25 years old, work full time, save all my money, then buy a house cash, and move out. But I didn't. I moved out during college when I was 20 to live with a guy. If it hadn't been for him, I probably would have gone with my father's plan.

And don't feel bad if you can't afford college right away. Many people work for a year or two first in order to get some money. I went to college with plenty of people in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, etc., so there's no real rush. But there are also loans and all kinds of other assistance. If you're not sure what deals you might be able to get, talk to your counselor about it. He or she might be able to give you some job ideas too.

Just make sure you talk to someone. Not only can they possibly help with job and college stuff, they also might be able to help you figure out why you're feeling this way in the first place. School counselors should be free for you to talk to. But don't get discouraged if the first person you talk to doesn't help. Counselors are people too so their people skills, talents, interests, etc. vary a lot. That means there will be some you click with and some you don't click with.

I agree with Lorien. Without trying to demean you, as she said, you're still a kid. It's ok for you to live at home, although if you can, you can start looking for a job. I didn't start my first job (waitressing for $6/hr, "training wage") until 17, and my parents thought that was a "late start." I stayed at home until I was 19, and the only reason I left was because I was going to go after my mother because we fought all the time. xp One of my best friends just moved earlier this year for the first time at 23.

If you can get into college, student loans might be something to look into. Yeah you have to pay them back, but you can get the education you need to get a good job and make a good wage so you can pay off your loans and make a living for yourself. As Lorien mentioned, if living off campus would be too expensive, you can look into living in dorms on campus.

And if you're finding everything hard to handle or if you're just feeling depressed or overwhelmed, please find someone to talk to. smile It doesn't make you weak or a bad person, just that you need to get stuff of your chest and get your thoughts sorted out. There's nothing wrong with talking to a counsellor or mental health professional if you have things on your mind. They might be able to help you with your depression, or refer you to someone who can.

I'm 22 and I don't drive, nor do I own a car. I have a bike and I live in a small town where I can walk or bike through most of town, and get rides when I can't. I don't want the responsibility of owning a car and keeping up with the maintenance, and driving sends my anciety through the roof anyways. *shrug*

My point is, you're young, and despite what some people in your life may tell you, you don't have to have everything figured out by the time you graduate high school. smile My parents, especially my mom, had been acting like I needed to know exactly what I'm going to do with my life by the time I was 20. And if I got married young or got pregnant unexpectedly, omg the world would end and I'd have a shitty life and never do anything with myself. I finally got them to back off earlier this year and give me some space, because while I know they want what's best for me, it's my life and I need to make my own decisions, even if they don't agree with them.