Forever and a Day | Page 1 | .:+:.Poetry | Writing.:+:. | Guild Forums

-Des Animaux-

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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:27 pm

When I dream
I see your face
But in your heart I know
I have no place

When a thousand years have passed
And we are finally dead
It's only then that
I can say what's in my head

"I loved a love
That could not go away
I loved forever
Forever and a day"

My gravestone shall read RIP
But that is not
How things shall be for me
For I will never have such peace

Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:48 pm

OMG that was a beautiful poem.

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ChiRubian
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Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 1:51 pm

I'd recommend reading your work out loud and seeing how everything flows together before you post it. Most of the time when people try to rhyme it ends up badly because of forced wording and uneven placement of syllables- this is no exception.

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:49 am

I enjoyed it very much.

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vampiric_melody

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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:25 am

- N y z z -

I'd recommend reading your work out loud and seeing how everything flows together before you post it. Most of the time when people try to rhyme it ends up badly because of forced wording and uneven placement of syllables- this is no exception.

It was beautiful, but I agree. The flow is a bit off. I still loved it.

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