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 Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:27 pm
A portal opens from the side of the wall, and a figure steps carefully through. She looks around, frightened at first, then upon recognizing her location, calms a bit.
I found it! Finally! *stumbles slightly* You guys wouldn't believe what I've been though in the last few months! I got sucked into this parallel universe where I forgot who Xena was (and Gabby too!), and there were all these horribly dark and sinister shows in its place that had no subtext or comedic overtones or beautiful, sexy, super-women who saved the day! It was horrible!
I couldn't figure out why my life felt so empty or why I never felt happy or warm and fuzzy, until one day, there was a rift in the space-time continuum while I was on my computer, and somehow an old fan fiction that I'd written in this universe appeared in my files, and as I started reading it, I realized that it was utter crap, and I had to get back to this universe to edit it, so I could post it and share the glorious love of Xena: Warrior Princess with all those people who need it most!
It took me quite a long time to figure out how to manipulate this portal from the other side because over there, there were no gods or goddesses to grant favors! I had to go to school for like 87 years to learn physics and metaphysics and voodoo and the hokey pokey! Even after that, it took me another 14 years to disassemble the time vortex and put it back together in a way that I could manipulate it!
I was so sick of science! I wanted my gods and goddesses back! I wanted to be back in the time of gods and kings and minotaurs and warlords! Space is cold. I need the warm, welcoming earth at my feet again! *kisses ground* Ouch! Did you know there are monsters in between the parallel worlds? I had no idea. If I'd known, I would have taken another few years to take karate or tae bo or something!
*faints*
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:54 pm
HEATHUS ******** CHRIST EEMZ! You've been the talk of the town! We tried psychicly reaching you (well that was mostly just me). We tried contacting you through the power of your blood type. We even tried summoning you with magic several times! gonk
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:29 pm
looks like deh blood type worked best! 4laugh betchu feel pretty bad now for mockin it huh haru? rofl
EHMI! scream yuu tell me where this parralell universe lives and im gunna have a long talk with it 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:40 pm
Azhren looks like deh blood type worked best! 4laugh betchu feel pretty bad now for mockin it huh haru? rofl EHMI! scream yuu tell me where this parralell universe lives and im gunna have a long talk with it 3nodding Hey, I gave you the gift of DOMO to make amends for said mockage! That's apology enough!
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:42 pm
Calli J Pankake Azhren looks like deh blood type worked best! 4laugh betchu feel pretty bad now for mockin it huh haru? rofl EHMI! scream yuu tell me where this parralell universe lives and im gunna have a long talk with it 3nodding Hey, I gave you the gift of DOMO to make amends for said mockage! That's apology enough! and then i opened a rift in space and time and brought out ehmi! 3nodding so yur 1 gift short! evil
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:50 pm
*wakes up from the yelling*
Jeepers! Those are exactly the two elements I was lacking on the other side of the portal that I needed to get across! Basically in the other dimention, my blood was turned into liquid cardboard, and the psychic energy over there is more closely related to this world's polka music, so my equipment never worked properly. You two are amazing! Thanks a million, guys, I owe you big time! The psychic energy combined with my O negative blood set off a chain reaction in the ectosplasmosphere between the dimensions, and when the portal opened up over here, all my machinery kicked into gear, and now here I am! Wahoo!
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:53 pm
ah. see haru! blaugh toldju that wuld happen! so whut waz it like on deh other side!? did everyone talk with inside out burps and walk on their ears!? eek did they not even pretend donuts were chakrams!? eek please say thass not true! crying they did! tell me they did! crying
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:07 pm
Well, see, since there was no such thing as Xena over there, there was no such thing as chakrams, either. I know, I know, it's horrifying to think about, but it's true. The worst thing of all, though, was that that world looked just like this one...well, like this one did in the late 70's/early80's. I still itch thinking about all the polyester!
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:10 pm
without xena deh world wulda never got past deh late 70s/ early 80s? eek i never knew..... shulda payed more attention in science class stare well we gotta find a way teh destroy this other world! evil ther shuldnt be anymore polyester then there needs teh be stare
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:27 pm
Well, the only way to destroy that other world would be to either go back over there and actually blow it up, or Paris Hilton would have to become president in this dimention. In either case, I'd kill myself before that happened.
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Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:23 am
No Paris Hilton for President? :[
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Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:47 am
we culd send paris hilton there! 3nodding at least that wuld solve 1 of deh problems 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:38 pm
That's a great idea! We could tell her about how much polyester there is over there, and she would be outraged and fully compliant with our plans to destroy that horrid universe! Why, I bet she'd even volunteer herself to be the suicide bomber! YES! That's the most brilliant plan I've ever heard!
*runs off to tell Paris of my Azhren's evil brilliant plan*
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Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:30 pm
EhmiEhmi That's a great idea! We could tell her about how much polyester there is over there, and she would be outraged and fully compliant with our plans to destroy that horrid universe! Why, I bet she'd even volunteer herself to be the suicide bomber! YES! That's the most brilliant plan I've ever heard! *runs off to tell Paris of my Azhren's evil brilliant plan* dont let her vicous guard dog get ahold of yuu! eek it almost ways twice as much as nicole richie! eek here! take this paper fan teh blow it out of yur way! 3nodding *tosses yuu paper fan*
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