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Something that was sent to me from a work mate that I just had to share with you all!
These are too good not to share

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

============== =

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought fo r me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not w orking anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my coll eague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least:....

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Cute!

I kind of feel sorry for these people. Computers can be really confusing, and if you don't grow up with them, or have a family member teach you, how are you supposed to learn?

My Malaysian family sent a bunch of jokes about Ah Beng, a sort of Malaysian version of Blonde Jokes. Here, let me paste! Sorry about all the >'s!

>Ah Beng's Jokes...
>
>I wouldn't mind having Ah Beng around ! In this stressful world, life would
>be more FUN with him around !
>
>Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
>Because below 18 not allowed !
>
>Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
>Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
>Salesgirl : "Yes !"
>Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
>
>Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
>He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.Then
>he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the
>question.
>After much thought, he writes "Yes "
>
>Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
>Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
>Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
>Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
>Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
>Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
>The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
>Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
>Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
>Boss : "What does it do ?"
>Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
>Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
>Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
>
>After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the
>original for spelling mistakes.
>
>Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture
>is being taken.
>
>Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
>Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
>
>Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he
>encountered some problems. He decide to use the'Help' command after some
>tries.
>Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for
>support.
>Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an
>hour and still nobody come and help me ?!"
>
>Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
>The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was
>ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I
>accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear"
>"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ...what happened to the
>other ear ?"
>Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back!!!!"
>
>Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
>Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND
>LAS VEGAS ?"
>Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
>Ah Beng : "THANK YOU " AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
>
>Affter completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time,
>Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
>"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
>FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
>"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7
>YRS".
>
>At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
>"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
>The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
>Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED"

But then they come to me and I will teach them... That's what I do all day! I teach computers to adults...

So teacher, when can I start....lol

She looks great doesn't she smile