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 Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:14 pm
This thread is for all the dads in the guild. A place to where we can brag about our kids, or help each other out with dad related issues. Also so we can share experiences and stories. This isn't a Q&A thread, but if a dad needs help with a dad related issue, we are here to help.
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:27 pm
Here's a dad related issue. Has anyone one here ever had a vasectomy? Me and my wife(mostly me) are considering this for birth control. How did you guys feel about? How long is the recovery? I also heard they have clips now that they use which makes reversing the procedure a snap. Anyone hear about/have these? Last and not least, I don't like needles, espically near the nether regions. Does the local anesthetic hurt? Any help would be great.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:04 am
I'm not a guy but I commend you for considering it. Most men I know tell their wives to have the proceedure done b/c "no one is touching the boys". Yet it is considered major abdominal surgery for a woman not a simple office visit. So kuddos to you for at least considering it.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:40 am
Sexygerman: We're in the same boat as you and Angie. I don't take hormonal birth control simply because I don't like what it does to my sex drive and my energy level etc. I've never taken it after I went off of it to have Lissa, and I refuse to take it again. And my husband is okay with that, because well...see aforementioned drop in sex drive.
Further, I told him I've already taken one "fertility related surgery" for the team (I had my gallbladder out due to pregnancy induced gallstone pancreatitis five weeks post partum.) So I'm not under any circumstances having another open abdominal surgery simply for the purpose of not having anymore kids.
So he was left with two options, sex with condoms until menopause (since we don't want anymore kids), or get a vasectomy. He is the one who brought up the Vas. So that's our plan.
I've done some research on it. I know it's going to be hard for him to find someone willing to do it. We're both only 23 and we have young children. A lot of doctors won't perform fertility surgery on women OR men who are young because "you might want more children." My mom even had a hard time finding a doctor in the military to do it for her when she had my brother.
However, I have found out that planned parenthood surgical clinics (if you're lucky enough to have one near you) will do a Vas. since it's an in and out procedure. They're less likely to judge based on age and probably won't outright REFUSE you service simply because of age or amount of children as their whole deal IS FAMILY PLANNING.
I do know there is a no-incision method, but it involves THREE needle punctures (one for the general anesthesia and two for each tube) and if you're not big on needles you're might like that one less.
There is pain and discomfort, but everything I've read (including testimonials) say that it's not that bad, no heavy lifting for a couple days after, etc. AND the most complications men have afterwards is from infection (which if you're not taking very good care of ANY incision can happen).
I TOTALLY understand the "OW" behind it. I understand that's a very sensitive area for guys. I can also say I'm empathetic in the groin pain in sensitive genital bits area after having recieved 114 stitches to mine post labor.
So yeah, maybe if Hubby gets his done before yours I'll make him come on here and type up his experience.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 10:14 am
My husband had a vasectomy done back in January of this year. Yay for me!!! xd
But seriously, I can tell you what I know about his surgery (and maybe I can persuade him to log onto his seldomly used Gaia account and tell you about it himself).
He got it done just before separating from the Air Force. The surgery itself was an out-patient proceedure (that means no hospital stay at all). He was nervous, but not freaking out. I wasn't allowed in the room during the actual surgery, but I was allowed to sit in the waiting room and wait for him.
He was perfectly able to walk right afterwards and got to stay home for a week from work (during which time all his military buddies came by to wish him well and rag on him whee . But they were totally cool and supportive.
Anyways, he had to keep an ice pack on him for 48 hours I believe. Something like 2 hours on and 2 hours off.
He went back a week after the surgery to be checked to see if everything was healing alright, and it was.
Things were eeeeerrrrrr.... swollen and tender for about a couple of weeks, but he healed up rather quickly. It didn't greatly impede his daily activities nor his work.
Now he is obviously completely healed and you can tell no difference whatsoever. Everything functions as it's supposed to (I know a lot of guys have misgivings and worries about that!!).
I recommend the surgery to any man who is willing to have it done. It meant a lot to me for him to do it. I mean, I've already been through the pains and rigors of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth twice, so it was nice for him to have this done rather than me having to have surgery, or having to take birth control until menopause! BC has always had funky effects on me as well, especially the pills.
Anyway, if you wanna try PMing Leeretroactive (that's my husband) with any relevant questions, I'll see if I can't get him to log on and respond.
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 10:21 pm
I appreciate all the info. I've got an educational class on it on next Wed. I really hope the Army is doing the clips.
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 10:51 pm
Just wanted to add:
In the Air Force (at our base at least), their age requirement for men was 24 with at least 2 children to be able to get a vasectomy. For women to get a tubal it was 21 with at least 2 children.
I believe my hubby got the kind of vasectomy done with lasers where they make one incision for each vasdefrans tube and take a small laser, and sever then carterize the vasdefrans which seals them up. It is supposed to be pretty reversible, but we have no plans to seek a reversal, so that was a moot point for us.
Also, his doc told him it usually takes a man up to 20 or so ejaculations to get any remaining pre-surgery sperm out of his system. So be sure and use SOME sort of birth control until you get a semen analysis done (usually done about 3 months after the surgery). A vasectomy is only effective as birth control AFTER your sperm count has been tested and you have a 0% sperm count. Otherwise, you may still be able to get your wife pregnant with the remaining sperm.
Good luck to ya!
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 5:57 pm
Well I don't think here at Madigan it's gonna be a problem. After we had Sienna, they told us not to be back in 9 months because the hospital wasn't a drive-thru. lol I'm pretty sure most of you had met people like that in the military.
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:17 pm
Well my husband had the Vasectomy, he was uncomfortable for about a week, and tender for another week and then fine. The first 48 hours were the most tender and we used the rotating ice packs.
As for the procedure he told me that the needle for the local stings for a second, but after wards you don't really feel much of anything. He had to stop cracking jokes at the doctor, once he ralized that they guy had a kinfe down there! Of course that could have been the 4 millagrams of ATAVAN they gave him to take prior to surgery. It is an anti anxiety medication they often give for this sort of thing... 1 mg koncks me right out!
I sure beats the 6 month recovery I have seen from the tubal. They say that it is 78% reversable, but as for clips I think that is only for women, the vas are so small.
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:44 pm
Well, my daughter is finally potty trained. I'm so glad that it over with. I'm glad I don't have to buy so many diapers. I can't wait till my other one is old enough to start potty training. Any you other dads have any success stories of any kind with your kids?
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 6:46 pm
Hey i thought seince that I'm gonna be one i might as well post and see if any one has any tips for me as a dad. so any one with tips or warnings please leme know im only a teen and i could use all the help i can get. Oops forgot to add in somethin although this is gonna be hard im still all excited and happy i have a good feeling bout this biggrin
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:55 pm
gothicmoon00 Hey i thought seince that I'm gonna be one i might as well post and see if any one has any tips for me as a dad. so any one with tips or warnings please leme know im only a teen and i could use all the help i can get. Oops forgot to add in somethin although this is gonna be hard im still all excited and happy i have a good feeling bout this biggrin Be supportive of the mama. Don't get on her if she sleeps a lot after the birth, or if housework or other things fall behind. Being a new parent is the ultimate stressor and baby will take precidence. If there's a lack of intimacy, don't freak or get defensive. A baby the size of a watermellon was just squeezed through a hole the size of a lemon. Above all, be loving, supportive, sensitive, and helpful.
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 10:36 pm
gothicmoon00 Hey i thought seince that I'm gonna be one i might as well post and see if any one has any tips for me as a dad. so any one with tips or warnings please leme know im only a teen and i could use all the help i can get. Oops forgot to add in somethin although this is gonna be hard im still all excited and happy i have a good feeling bout this biggrin Here are a couple of tips that I found useful. Be supportive to your wife/girlfriend and be their for delivery. If you get a chance, read the book series "What to expect.....". I think that's what it's called. It has lots of useful information that explains what to expect at what ages. There are a few pages with tips for dads spread throughout the book. Also, when the little one gets older and seems clingly to mom, don't force them to like you. It takes time for them to build trust and a sense of security with them. If you stay active and do things with the child, it'll be alot easier on both of you when they reach the mommy clinginess stage. And remember, when they are still babies, the only way they can communicate is by crying. It'll get frustratind and if you can't handle it, just set the baby down somewhere safe and walk away to calm your nerves. If you help mommy out, it'll be easier for both and she won't be so grumpy towards you. If you have any other questions or need some help, feel free to ask. Don't forget to check the Q&A sticky before posting. But if it is dad related, feel free and ask.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:24 pm
hello.. i just wanted to say that here in florida where im at the health department offers FREE vesectomies to men at least 21 with or without kids already!.. i was told it is a simple procedure to get done.. dont kno anyone yet though that has actually gotten one done, but i got my tubes tied after my sec kid(which i just had him 8/24/05.. and im 21 and not married..so i kno they offer several different things in several different areas.. so good luck to u and i commend u for considering it since us women do have to go through sooo much as it is.. 4laugh
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:27 pm
gothicmoon00 Hey i thought seince that I'm gonna be one i might as well post and see if any one has any tips for me as a dad. so any one with tips or warnings please leme know im only a teen and i could use all the help i can get. Oops forgot to add in somethin although this is gonna be hard im still all excited and happy i have a good feeling bout this biggrin
aww well congrats on the daddy-to-be!!! exclaim and do u kno wut ur having yet?
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