|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:17 pm
There's a boy, he really likes me, he says that he loves me and wants to keep me forever. I really like him back, but i don't know if it's love because i've never even dated anyone before him. So how do i know if it's love? and should I say yes if he ever proposes?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:09 pm
How long have you known him? Love isn't something that comes about all of a sudden. Infatuation does, and sometimes it turns into love.
Love is when the other person's happiness means more to you than yours does. When you're willing to lose the person to someone else, if it would make them more happy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:15 am
My mom says confusion is a good sign. Like sometimes I wonder why the heck I like my crush so much but a few minutes later he does something cute and I'm like "duh." xd
I make no sense. sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:08 am
i may be digging a hole for myself here, but in my personal opinion it depends on your age, when you're younger you can develop huge crushes on people, so bad that it hurts. but love is never an instant thing, it does need time to blossom.
infatuation can go either way, it can grow into love, or just disappear like the morning mist.
you'll only know over time if the feelings you have for this boy, and the ones he has for you will be of the lasting kind, but it can happen so who knows?
all i can say is enjoy it, but don't do anything silly like get pregnant, if he proposes then get engaged by all means, but don't get married until you can afford to support yourselves.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:13 pm
Love is something that develops over time. soon after i first started talking to my fiance i developed a crush on him, but i don't think love entered the picture until much later, something like four or five months after we started dating.
just see where the relationship goes. maybe you'll grow closer, maybe you'll decide he isn't for you. proposing, though...i don't know how long you've been seeing him but it seems a little soon for proposing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 4:06 pm
i agree. imho, love kinda creeps up on you, and someday you'll wake up and go, "holy crap! i love _____. when did that happen?"
at least, that's how it happened to me. sometimes it's at a crucial moment, when you're looking into his eyes or he does that one thing that just makes you go head over heels (or lots of those things). sometimes he's not even around and you haven't seen him for a month.
like they said, be careful, though. don't rush into it. if it's not love, you're better off not trying to pretend it is. a lot of peopel would tell you not to worry what anyone else thinks, but i don't believe that. no matter what, pay attention to what friends and family have to say about him. though they won't always be right, it's good to keep an ear out for too many bad opinions. if one or two people think he's weird, it's not grounds to dump him, but if the only things you ever hear about him are negative, it's definitely something to think about.
in other words, make your own decision, but use the advice of your loved ones to help you make it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:11 am
Malkut How long have you known him? We met at the begining August and by mid-September we were official boyfriend/girlfriend. We already talk about getting married and having a family. We won't get married for a while because of things we both need to work out. My family doesn't know how serious we are and i don't want to tell them till I'm engaged, Is that alright? I couldn't see myself with anyone else. *sigh* heart I'm in love.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 1:57 pm
EliMae no matter what, pay attention to what friends and family have to say about him. though they won't always be right, it's good to keep an ear out for too many bad opinions. if one or two people think he's weird, it's not grounds to dump him, but if the only things you ever hear about him are negative, it's definitely something to think about. in other words, make your own decision, but use the advice of your loved ones to help you make it. Amen! I dated a guy, and got engaged to him. At first he had treated me better than anyone else that I'd been with. I thought I'd fallen in love. Things slowly got worse, but I had tricked myself into not seeing it. Everyone else could. But I didn't listen to them. I won't go into the horror stories, but I will tell you: listen to what your friends and family say about him, good or bad. Listen to those who know you, and have known you, and listen to his family. And don't rush it. As for not telling them until you're engaged...that's your decision. I don't know how close you are to your family, so I don't know if it's something you feel like you can talk about.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 5:59 pm
Kisa_Yamino Malkut How long have you known him? We met at the begining August and by mid-September we were official boyfriend/girlfriend. We already talk about getting married and having a family. We won't get married for a while because of things we both need to work out. My family doesn't know how serious we are and i don't want to tell them till I'm engaged, Is that alright? I couldn't see myself with anyone else. *sigh* heart I'm in love. that sounds a bit rushed to me. i don't doubt you guys care for each other right now or anything, but it takes time to really know a person. i would just hate to see you invest so much in him and then things go awry. sad i don't mean to sound critical or anything, as i'm the same way with MY boy too. i'm just saying. like Malkut said, it depends on how close you are to your family. my family doesn't really know much about my boyfriend/fiance and we've been dating for two and a half years (though that's slowly beginning to change).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:00 am
Okay. This little nugget of wisdom comes from my Mom:
Have you noticed that when you crush on a guy, you always want to talk to him or be around him. But when he starts to like you back you start to get annoyed with him. It will often get to the point that you just want him to go away. When you find someone that you really like, that you love hanging around with and that you find yourself thinking about, you realize that you DON'T want him to go away. You are sad when he is and are happy when he is. You respect him and love him for who he is and he does the same for you. He never hurts you or disprespects you and when you guys do fight, both of you come back and apologize........although if he does it first and he really means it then it means so much more. 3nodding That is what I think love is.
As to the whole marriage thing, I would definitely wait. Don't get married until you are SURE that you are ready for it. Emotionally, physically, and money wise. Listen to your friends and family and get their imput. Listen to yourself and really think about your decisions before making them. Just remember this little piece of wisdom that my Mom passed on to me:
Happiness is marrying a best friend. heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:11 am
Yes I fully agree that waiting for marriage is the best thing. Don't rush it, you haven't known him for very long. I'd like to know who instigates or begins the conversations of marriage and children and is he older than you? If so I would definately be careful because if he is starting the whole thing, then perhaps you should reconsider. Guys who push things like that can be dangerous. Not all but some. Just watch your back ok...? *hugs*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:21 am
Willowhawk I'd like to know who instigates or begins the conversations of marriage and children and is he older than you? Sometimes he starts them sometimes I start them and he just turned 21 while I'll turn 20 in january.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 8:52 am
sweatdrop This is a little embaresing, but new question. How do you tell someone you don't love them without hurting them?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:26 pm
Kisa_Yamino sweatdrop This is a little embaresing, but new question. How do you tell someone you don't love them without hurting them? nevermind we already broke up confused today. over the phone. we're both fine. i think.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:14 pm
they say that breaking up is hard to do. now you know that it's true... i'm gonna stop right there.
i hope you can find a post-breakup arrangement that makes you both happy. don't hesitate to tell him if you want to try to stay friends. some of my best friends are exes. in fact, i've dated or slept with most of my close friends.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
