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 Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 4:28 pm
Everything was so crowded that it was easy to hang back and not say much, and even easier to sneak away for a respite from the chaos. It was hard to find anywhere really comfortable, with everything going on it was hard to enjoy the new lands, the new faces.. after asking a hare she passed by, she was directed to a waterhole and so that's where she was going. Water was nice, a bit more homey maybe. And if the hare was right, it wouldn't be terribly busy. She walked at a leisurely pace, thinking deeply and not paying more attention than was necessary to keep her on the right path.
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Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 5:42 am
He was supposed to be happy.
So, why wasn’t he?
He’d found his father after dwelling out into rogue country and brought him back to be reunited with his mother. He’d watched the joy in their faces, the tender nuzzle and heard the promises of never leaving one another again. Their eyes had turned towards him; full of gratefulness, full of thanks.
He’d told them that he was glad the family was finally back together again.
But as he’d walked away, leaving them to talk in private, he felt his heart sink.
His mother and father had found one another young. They’d fallen in love and been together ever since, only parting when they had their quarrels. They had no other need than to be with one another and now that their cubs were grown they deserved some time to relax. Besides, they weren’t as young as they had used to be.
Chunuka had been alone for most of his life. Not physically, since his family were always around him and the pride was fit to burst. However, he was alone. He had no true friends here and he was somewhat shy of approaching his siblings now. He had sat alone all this time, watching his brothers and sister making their own lives. They had families now. They had a purpose. They had cubs to feed and teach and nurture.
But he did not.
So, instead of feeling happy that his parents were together and the family complete again, he felt a desperate sadness, a desperate longing for his own purpose.
He paused and leaned heavily against the tree at his side, rubbing at his eyes with a paw.
It was odd, really. He’d adored the Pridelands so much. He was proud of his prideland heritage, of being half true-pridelander on his mother’s side. And yet, looking around now, he could see nothing that he would miss if he left. He’d miss his family of course. But…now he’d been out into the world and seen that it wasn’t so bad he was starting to think.
Maybe the Pridelands was not meant to be his home any longer.
He turned his head to glance to the right and that was when he saw her. The lioness he had met when he had first headed out into the unknown. Their meeting had been brief but it had been friendly and he had thought of her often when he had been out in the wilderness alone, letting her courage at travelling help him on his way.
He quickened his pace towards her, lifting his golden ears forwards. “Hoy there! Remember me?”
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Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 6:38 pm
Thoughtful and slowly unwinding from an overwhelming string of experiences, Noki didn't realize that anyone was around let alone someone she was familiar with. She hadn't forgotten Chunuka, though- it was because of him they were able to find the Pridelands so easily and meet their father. So she was startled to hear someone call out to her, but very glad it was a familiar voice.
"Chunuka!" she cried, smiling immediately when she turned and spotted him. It was as if everything else was forgotten for that instant. There was something else to focus on, something .. almost completely unrelated!
"Of course I remember you, I wondered if you'd be back here yet," she said brightly.
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:49 pm
He smiled, clearly pleased that she had remembered him. Really, he didn't think himself one of the most memorable characters in the world. Even still, it was good to see a familiar face in this place of strangers.
"I got back yesterday." He explained, drawing closer. "With my father." He added with a smile - though the smile wasn't as wide as perhaps it should have been. "So the family is back together again and everything can return to normal."
He tipped an ear towards her. "But enough about that, how about you? Did you find your true name?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:43 pm
"Just yesterday?" she repeated, seeming to almost jump in excitement to hear that he had been successful in his quest to find his father. It was delightful knowing that he had done it, she had not forgotten that that was the first question he had asked her. Before all of this sticky mess regarding her biological family, when she was little and missed her mother.. she had spent a lot of time day-dreaming about going to find her mother. A missing parent was something she empathized with, something else that made him stand out in her mind.
"That's wonderful," Noki said brightly, noticing that he didn't seem nearly a delighted as she might have been- but then, she wasn't sure he was the excitable type. Her ears turned and she smiled sheepishly when he asked about her.
"I haven't found my name yet," she answered carefully, continuing thoughtfully, "But I suppose you could say I'm in the midst of finding out who I truly am." It wasn't the happiest of circumstances, but she felt she was on the right track. How could you know what your name was if you didn't know who you really were? Parents were not the entire identity of their offspring, but at the same time she knew the explanations and experiences in all of this were changing her, reshaping opinions and views..
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:28 am
He nodded. "It is wonderful. My mother is happy, my father is happy. The whole family is back together again. It's...perfect." He shook his mane then sat, tipping his head slightly to listen to her better.
She still hadn't discovered her name? Maybe she was close...and then what? She'd be back to her pride and that'd be another friend he'd made and lost. That was a little sad to think about.
"Well, I'm sure you'll find out who you truly are soon enough." He replied. "If there's anything I can do to help, you'll let me know, won't you? I'll be staying here probably...forever, so, I'm not the hardest feline to find. To be honest, I could do with the company too. The Pridelands isn't the home I remember it being." He laughed gently. "Odd, I wasn't even gone for long and my perspective of things has changed. I can see why you'd need to travel to find your true name."
He smiled kindly. "So what brought you to the Pridelands, Noki?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:48 pm
"That's great!" she said, genuinely happy to hear that his parents were happy and his family was all back together. She wished she could say the same for her own family, but she wasn't even sure that was possible. Her mother was gone, and Noki was nearly bitter enough to think that was a good thing.. and her real father.. well, they were working on that. She couldn't shake the feeling that they were intruding despite constant reassurances. Perhaps it was the chaos. No matter how chaotic things always were, she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to it.
"Yes, you're right, though I don't think it's traveling that did this," Noki commented with a small smile, she knew she would end up explaining, continuing quietly, "My father lives here."
She paused a moment, pawing small circles on the ground before continuning.
"My real father," she said, glancing up though her nose was pointed towards her paw. Chunuka was easy to talk to- or perhaps she just needed someone to tell- or perhaps it was both. "My mother.. wasn't as good as we all imagined her to be. I didn't know if it was true at first, but the resemblance is undeniable now we're here."
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:09 am
His ears lifted expectantly. “Ah. Your father?” He tried to picture a lion that might look like her, but couldn’t. “Well, you certainly do carry the gold of a pridelander.” He smiled. The smile faltered however. It seemed that things had gotten complicated in her life.
Lies. Secrets. Deceit.
“I’m sorry to hear that Noki.” He replied, shuffling closer. “Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. People have reasons for doing things even if they do seem horrible. Your mother must have had a good reason to keep his identity from you.” He felt his heart shudder.
“What will you do now, though?” Would she stay here, maybe? He couldn’t tell from her reaction what she thought of her newfound father, though it was clear she was upset with her mother.
Suddenly he realised just how pitiful his thoughts had been about his own family. He should count himself lucky for having caring parents that lived together. Why should he be sad about his situation when there were others like Noki who’s situation was far more complicated than his own.
He felt his eyes prickle with tears and he reached up with a paw to rub at his face, desperate to keep them away.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:37 pm
When Chunuka apologized and shuffled closer, Noki couldn't help but take a seat. She'd started them off into a rather unhappy conversation, she didn't feel like staying on her feet. She lifted her head up and smiled, though, trying not to drag the whole conversation down too much. She would have to get used to it all eventually.
"She didn't just conceal his identity, we have- had- a father in the swamps," she said with a small shrug, explaining a bit more about why they were unimpressed, "She only had us because of our father's mother, or something. It's.. confusing."
She sighed when he asked what she would do, noticing the odd look in his eyes. She didn't want to distress him..
"I don't know, but I'm staying here and getting to know my father and his family," she said, then trying to lighten the mood a bit she offered with a slight laugh, "You know, he has eight cubs here. With me and my siblings that makes fourteen of us. Fourteen.."
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:36 am
“I wish I could say something to make it better. It seems like you’ve all been thrown into a very awkward situation. I just hope that some good will come of it. At least you know the truth now and you’ve met new family, too.”
He smiled. “Well, I for one am glad you’ll be staying here a while longer. That means I’ll have someone to talk to – when you’re able to, that is.” He seemed sheepish then and averted his eyes to watch the twitching of his tail.
“Fourteen is a big number. It’s going to be hard learning all those new names!” He grinned. “There are only eight in my family, not that I see a lot of them in any case. Half of my siblings just disappeared one day. I guess they didn’t feel at home here. It was only really Kiasi, Inari and me. Oh, and my parents of course.” He glanced up.
“Noki…I…” He paused. “There’s been something on my mind since I got back. Something that’s been unsettling me.” He faltered. “I think sometimes…home is not where the heart is.” Somehow he felt awful for saying it. He felt suddenly a traitor. He hated himself for it.
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:18 pm
"I'm sure new family will make it worth it," she said optimistically, though rather quietly, "Though it won't be easy going back to the swamps and facing.. everyone who was supposed to be family.." Noki paused thoughtfully, frowning at the idea of going back to Gharadi and Avani. She didn't know if she trusted them, mostly Gharadi, now. But their cubs, her brothers.. they couldn't have known.
Noki was pulled back from her thoughts when he said he was glad she was staying, that he'd have someone to talk to- and she was glad too.
"I'm glad, too," she verbalized with a smile,w atching him watch his tail- and then leaning a bit to look at him when he spoke again about something being on his mind. It was a very serious tone, very worried.
"What do you mean?" Noki asked gently, not wanting to seem judgmental, "In what way?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:52 am
"It sounds awful..." He replied and fell silent for a moment. But he realised he'd already set the wheels in motion. He had to continue with the conversation now or else Noki might start to think badly of him.
"But...I don't know what's happened to me." There were tears in his eyes now and he didn't bother to blot them away with a paw. "I was born here and raised here. I was happy here with my family. Then things fell apart. Mother dissapeared and father, heart-broken, thought her dead. He left to become a rogue again and then mother appeared. I fought desperately to get the family back together. I even battled against my fear of the outside world to find him. Then I found him and I was happy. I brought him back home to mother and watched as they saw each other again."
He paused and shook his head. "But I felt sad. I mean...not just sad. I was happy that things were back to normal. But I saw the way they looked at one another and felt a sudden jealousy. You see...everyone in my family has found their place in the world. They have their mates and their children, they have someone to love. But I...I have nothing here. Nothing but them. The problem is...they've all moved on. They don't rely on me the same way I rely on them."
He sighed. "I didn't realise that until I'd left the lands behind me."
He sniffed sadly. "Does that sound awful?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 5:08 pm
She tilted her head, listening more intently when he said it sounded awful- he already felt guilty, whatever he was thinking. Based only one the topic, she could understand why but figured he had to be best off explaining- and she would be best off waiting until he explained before she tried to comment. Noki leaned in a bit when she realized there were tears in his eyes, and she stayed quiet until he asked her a question, gave her something to respond to.
"Yes, it sounds awful," she answered quietly, "But- I mean, for you. You should be happy, find a way to be." Noki trailed off thoughtfully. She and her siblings relied on each other so much, she had never thought about what might happen if one of them clung too much, if one tried to keep what they had while the others grew away. It couldn't feel very nice.
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:35 am
“I don’t think I can be.” Chunuka replied. “Where else could I go if not here?” He murmured. “I’m not a rogue. Travelling broadened my horizons but I’m not one to be unsettled. I don’t do well alone, either.” He shook his head. “It’s hopeless, isn’t it?”
He stood then and paced a few steps, letting his eyes scan out to the horizon. “This place has changed so much. It’s crowded and full of strangers. I’m part of this great community and yet I know next to no one. And it’s my fault. I should have tried harder to make friends. I guess…I guess I’m too timid for my own good.”
He sighed. “Things seemed much simpler when I was younger.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:41 pm
Noki blinked at what Chunuka said. They way he spoke, there were only two options- Pridelands or Rogue. And that wasn't true, he knew she was from another pride- and he knew there were other prides. Hadn't he mentioned one when they first met? She remained seated, watching him pace thoughtfully and letting him get everything out before responding.
"But Chunuka," she said, standing up finally and walking over to stand with him, "There are other prides, you know that. The Jini-msemi, where I'm from, for example. Maybe you should try to find another pride." She almost wanted to suggest her home, it was considerably smaller than the Pridelands and strict traditions made sure you knew everybody even if you didn't talk to them. And, of course, she didn't have a great many friends there. But the pride had a set of beliefs and traditions quite dissimilar to the pride here.
"Everything is easier when you're young," she agreed, though.
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