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my friend's dad wrote this so tell what you think.

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Violet Embers13

PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 5:30 pm


I sat upon the cement wall
That stands outside my room,
And watched the whistling movers move
Your things that afternoon.
No shyness seemed to slow you down,
A girl of scarcely ten,
You spoke to me a string of words,
Then off you skipped again.

But can't you see I love you,
Though the words I cannot say,
I look upon your lovely face
As you turn and walk away.

Those summer days we spent in play
Don't seem so long ago,
We ran and played as siblings should,
As I watched you slowly grow.
But all the time you taunted me,
I was just the boy next door.
Attention spent on other boys,
From me you wished no more.

But can't you see I love you,
Though the words I cannot say,
I look upon your lovely face
As you turn and walk away.

I sat upon the cement wall
That stands outside your room,
And watched the weary movers move
Your things this afternoon.
So have you lived your care-free life
To scarcely twenty-one.
And slipped into that silent sleep
That covers what was done.

I don't know why you did the deed;
Cold steel upon your breast.
A momentary lapse of reason
Stilled the heart inside your chest.
A sorrowed letter sealed for me
Came in the mail today;
Because I could not say I love you,
From me you turned away.

But now you know I love you,
Though the words I cannot say,
My tears fall on your lovely face,
At last I walk away.


just so you know, i did NOT come up with this. i have no claim on it as my own. neutral stare
PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:36 pm


It's really good. I liked it. interesting smile

ElenaAna

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MiniMidget

PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:25 am


You can tell an adult wrote it, a lot of them tend to have regrets about the past they wished they could change. Feeling it a lot. Very nice poem.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:42 pm


actually he wrote this a teen. i know, i have seen the rough draft.

Violet Embers13

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