Dunno if this helps but...
Honestly, just because someone is a Jewish American Princess, doesn't automatically make them an obnoxious and vindictive socialite.*
However, dealing with your second problem first, your friends are annoyed that you want to get rid of the eye candy? Instead of taking it through the proper channels and trying to get her thrown off campus for being a royal douche, be a royal douche yourself. Sit across the table from her and the moment she tries to bring up more drama than you need I suggest using what I would say in a situation as that. Use any one of these, or in combination in any order you see fit.
"SHUT THE ******** UP!"
"NO ONE CARES!"
"KEEP IT TO YOURSELF FOR ONCE!"
"ALL YOU DO IS WHINE AND b***h!"
Cause as much attention as you possibly can to the situation, and if security asks you to leave, do so without causing a scene, because you've already caused one.
If it does go to the logical extreme that the Dean of Students wants to talk with you, just say "look I'm sorry, I was a little over stressed from classes and took it out on her because she was literally on my last nerve."
They will pat you on the head, give you a cookie, and tell you to control your stress better.
This should solve problem one as well with the strategy I like to call: Silence the Child or Send it Away.
*(Obnoxious and vindictive attention whores should die in a fire on principle)
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