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 Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:41 pm
Okay, so most everytime my boyfriend and I have sex, he always goes soft before he comes [meaning he doesn't come at all]. It usually happens when he is on top, but it has happened quite a lot. I'm not sure if it's just because of the position or what, but I really don't know what is going on with him.
I suggested to him that there may be other things on his mind, like one of my or one of his parents walking in, or any noise, or just the fact that it's happened before [the going soft] and he is worried it will happen again, but he tells me that he's not thinking about anything other than what is going on.
So is this just a position problem or something else? I really don't know.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 7:58 pm
well for me anyways, the only time i have trouble maintaining a hard-on is when i am using a condom. other than that, i can be in any position with my girlfriend and all is well, so i really wouldnt know anything about it other than that.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:10 pm
Well..he was wearing a condom as well..
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:12 pm
could be it. it just doesnt feel the same to me when i use one. but my girlfriend is tested every 6 months (social worker makes her) so i know that she is free of STD's.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:36 pm
Yeah, it could be any of those things. Maybe condoms dull the sensation. Or maybe he is worried about something, even if he doesn't fully realize it. Or maybe he doesn't like being on top, or maybe being on top wears him out.
He can let his doctor know that he frequently loses erections just to be on the safe side, but it's pretty common and it's usually nothing to worry about.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:59 pm
that reminds me, i forgot to mention that depending on how long we go, towards the end it usaully is harder to keep it hard when either im on top or we are both on our knees. so yea, that could be it as well
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:23 pm
Thanks. I guess just trying different things will help..and it happens after like 4 or 5 min. Not even..
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:38 pm
yeah, just try different things is all i can really say. thats really only happened to me once so i dont know. sorry i couldnt be of more help.
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:37 pm
He could be feeling a little self conscious either about his body or his performance, or something else entirely. Talk to him about it, reassure him, "I love ____ about you/ and when you do _____." etc.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:44 am
It could be:
- Lack of experience.
- Stress/anxiety/nervousness, even if it's subconscious.
- Psychological issues (overworrying about pleasing/not being able to please his partner, etc).
- Related to wearing a condom (not used to it, doesn't like it, whatever).
As Lorien said, if it continues, he can talk to his doctor about it.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:29 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:54 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:22 pm
Eh, used to be a problem for me when I was less experienced than I am now. He could be getting tired or losing interest in intercourse. I know there are some times when I'd prefer oral or a handjob 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:08 pm
Keep him interested. Make noises or run your hands around him or do whatever he likes and thinks is sexy. You can't just lie back and do nothing. Of course he'll get bored.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:47 pm
MinaMouse Keep him interested. Make noises or run your hands around him or do whatever he likes and thinks is sexy. You can't just lie back and do nothing. Of course he'll get bored. although i wouldn't like my girlfriend to "make noises" if she wasn't actually feelin' it you know what i mean? to me it would just be a bigger turn off for her to fake something during sex. now its different if she is doing it out of pleasure instead of to just make me feel better.
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