Pineapple Hero Tales
"I WIN!!! blaugh "
"No fair, Tragic " Koro cried.
Pineapple Hero rolled over, mumbling angrily, "Will you shut up? stare ... hey! eek It's 10 am. Weren't we supposed to leave by 11:30?" Our Hero said as she yawned.
"Woke up and no one was here 3nodding " Tragic said, with a plastic crown adorned with plastic gems sitting atop her head, "You wanna play Pretty Pretty Princess with us?! biggrin "
"Uh no... I'll check out what's up. Hero duty... Yeah, I'll call it that."
"Already checked it out, Pineapple dork. There was a note. Apparently they ran out of something, and took off for the store." Yennon walked in from outside, cuddling her baby griffon.
"What, that's all it says?! stare "
"No. Also said to expect someone to pick us up."
"... Really? I don't know, that sounds-"
"I WON!!!" Koro suddenly screamed excitedly.
"Nuh uh blaugh " Tragic pointed at Koro's hand, "You have the black ring! I WIN!!!"
"No fair!" Koro tried to run out the front door but someone stood in the way.
"Why hello there!" A weird looking man said, I was called here by someone by the name of uh... Aidy?"
"Adie, dumbass." Yennon said without looking up.
"Er... right. I'm a chauffeur! And I will be the one to take you home. Please... come this way-"
"Go get our bags, dumbass. Are you new?" Yennon still wasn't looking at him, "Stop wasting space and put the bags in the car." Yennon pointed at the pile of bags in the corner, and went back to playing with her griffon.
The man visibly looked angry, but when he saw the griffon she was playing with he stiffened. He cleared his throat, "Ahem. Yes ma'am. Right away."
"Yennon..!" Pineapple Hero said in a hushed tone, "Yennon, don't you think-"
"No. I don't think I was rude in the very least stare "
"Not that! Don't you think that guy looks a bit familiar?"
"Huh? Who? eek "
"the guy you gave the third degree to!! scream "
"Ma'am, is this everything?" The weird looking guy said under the weight of the last three suit cases.
"Um... eek y-yes. Please give us a moment, we'll be out shortly blaugh " Yennon said pleasantly.
The guy glared at her for a moment and left.
"That is definitely Crim!" Yennon whispered, "If we go into that car, its a trap!"
"Good, you really did pay attention in Hero school." Yennon sneered at her, "Yen... we need to form a quick plan."
"Yeah, yeah. What do you think?" Yennon asked
"I think-"
"Holy crap!!" Yennon screamed.
"Get... in the van." Crim pointed a gun at both of them.
"Whoa... that... that's a little intense, isn't it buddy?" Pineapple Hero's hands went up, "I mean... what did we ever do to you? And by order of the Hero's Guild we don't carry guns. You know we're unarmed scream "
"Yeah! scream I mean, even Michael Jackson would offer some candy or even a pony ride before just whipping a gun out!! stare " Yennon screamed holding her baby Griffy from harm.
"Silence!" Crim shouted, "YOU!" he pointed the gun at Yennon.
"Uh... sorry if I hurt your feelings, but please don't hurt my Griffy, okay? Just let me put him away..."
"His name is NOT Griffy!!" Crim stomped his foot, "I was going to name him Crimson Jr! He's MINE!"
"...CRIMSON JR?! scream His name is Griffy Trent LaPierre! And I stole him from you fair and square!"
"Ugh, you gave him a full name? What's next?! Baby clothes!?" Pineapple Hero wrinkled her nose.
"Shut up Pineapple Dork! evil I'll name my pets whatever I want."
"SILENCE!!!" Crim screamed again, "Get in the van before I kill you right here!"
"We are NOT getting in that van!" Yennon spat at him.
"Oh yeah? Listen..."
In the distance they could plainly hear, "Van ride, van ride, van ride!!!"
"We've already got your cute little side kicks! twisted "
Yennon hesitated a moment, "Fine..! Fine, we'll cooperate." Yennon winked at Pineapple Hero to show she had a plan.
As they walked outside they could see Brian wearing a mustache at the end of the van, offering Tragic juice.
“Is this van stolen? mad ” Pineapple Hero asked.
“How can you tell?! gonk ”
"It says, Scott’s Window Repair Inc. on the side stare Tragic, Koro... What are you doing?" Pineapple Hero mumbled.
"The nice man gave us lemonade mrgreen " Koro said happily.
"Did he now? Nice work, Brian!" Crim was back in his disguise (god knows when he did that), "Now get in the back with Mr.Brian!”
Everyone crawled into the back of the van, Brian getting in last to guard the door. As soon as everyone got settled Yennon pointed at Tragic, “Tragic!! The time is NOW! Begin plan #4!!!”
“Right!!” Tragic jumped up, but suddenly fell over, “Oh no...”
“Tragic!?” Yennon gasped.
“Master...” Tragic fell on top of Koro who had fallen asleep before her.
“No!! What have you done!? scream ” Yennon shook Tragic.
“We knew Tragic could have easily disarmed us before we could even blink. So we gave them both a strong sleeping aid.” Brian said triumphantly.
“Why Koro?! She’s harmless!” Pineapple Hero said angrily.
“Well, we didn’t want Tragic getting suspicious.” Brian smiled, “Don’t worry. A nice nap never hurt anybody smile Now tie them up!! mad I want Tragic’s knots good and tight. She will NOT be your key to victory twisted ”
“They really got us this time, Pineapple Hero emo ” Yennon said... and you could tell she was upset, if she willingly called our hero by her name.
“Look... if its just my hat you want, let us go! You can have it..!” Pineapple Hero pleaded.
“Not this time.” Crim said angrily.
“Did you kidnap Mayor Adie too?!” Yennon shrieked, “And Orchid, and Angel!? What about Watermelon Head? What have you done with them!?”
“Oh... they were easy! twisted We simply stole THIS!!” Crim held up a whole ham.
The back of the van was silent for a while, while Yennon and Pineapple Hero stared at the ham and let their blood boil, “OMG!! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!! scream ”
As Yennon ranted and raved, Pineapple Hero watched the sandy beach roll by, and the mountains come ever closer.
“Are you sure about this Utena?! eek ” Kitten held photos of the surrounding area in her hands, “This is so easy! I can’t believe it..!”
“I’m very sure.” Utena stood proudly, “This will win my votes back, come election day! blaugh ”
“Finally! All our hard work will pay off. YOU as our mayor! Justice will finally be served to these hoodlums known as Fauku and his ‘Brothers’.” Kimmy said excitedly.
“And get Adie back for the way she... won stare ” Kitten mumbled.
“It’s not just how she WON. It’s EVERYTHING! ” Utena started to pace the floor, “And when I win, there will be NO MORE Hero’s welcome here!!! evil ”
“Yay Miss Utena!! blaugh ” Kimmy and Kitten cheered.
At the door, Duke listened in...
Pineapple Hero and Yennon had been tied as well. They sat quietly as Crim and Brian drove up to a cave... with nice neon lighting on the outside, “We’re here girls.” Brian said as he jumped out of the van.
Tragic rolled over, her eyes rolling slightly, “Where..?”
“Sorry Tragic. We’ve been captured. Koro..? You up?” Pineapple Hero nudged her.
“Pineapple Hero...” she mumbled.
“It’ll be alright Koro neutral ” Pineapple Hero managed to say to her before she was pulled out of the van. Crim lined the girls up, and forced them to march toward the brightly lit cave.
Bo joined them as the walked onward toward the back. A bright light turned on, revealing Ned at the top of a spiral staircase, “Hello.” He said pleasantly, “I’m... sure you’re all wondering what I’m doing here. Well... let me show you... MY REAL FORM!!! evil ” Ned ripped off his snowy beard, letting it fall on the floor at their feet.
Koro and Tragic gasped!
“Ugh. I’m so pawning your armor stare ” Yennon stared.
“I knew you were Fauku all along scream ” Pineapple Hero shouted.
“Did you now? And yet... you did nothing about it. Didn’t say a thing. You even went on that bogus adventure into the valley. And you call yourself a... hero?! Mwa ha ha ha ha- eek ” suddenly Fauku gagged and went into a coughing spasm.
“Nice job. I’m so impressed stare I had to pretend I didn’t know who you were! Everyone believed you weren’t Fauku. No one would have been on my side at all, so I had to prove you were a phony!”
“*coff* Nice excuse! evil ” Lord Fauku slowly spun around and around the spiral staircase, “Ugh, we need a elevator stare And now!!!” He said as he reached the bottom, “You have something I want.”
“My stupid hat?! FINE! You can have it. Just let us all go, and it’s yours.”
“Oh ho!!! Not THIS time!! You ALL have something I want! evil ”
~~~~~~Meanwhile in England somewhere...~~~~~~
"This way!!! scream " Fanboy pointed towards the ocean.
"Uh.. are you going to swim there? stare " Air said just watching him.
"I would swim forever just to get to my love! " Fanboy yelled ankle deep in water.
"Do you want your inner tube back? stare " Air waved around his inner tube he had floated to shore with.
"*Gasp gargle gargle* gonk Help! *gargle*" Fanboy waved his arms about frantically.
"Sigh.... stressed "
"No fair, Tragic " Koro cried.
Pineapple Hero rolled over, mumbling angrily, "Will you shut up? stare ... hey! eek It's 10 am. Weren't we supposed to leave by 11:30?" Our Hero said as she yawned.
"Woke up and no one was here 3nodding " Tragic said, with a plastic crown adorned with plastic gems sitting atop her head, "You wanna play Pretty Pretty Princess with us?! biggrin "
"Uh no... I'll check out what's up. Hero duty... Yeah, I'll call it that."
"Already checked it out, Pineapple dork. There was a note. Apparently they ran out of something, and took off for the store." Yennon walked in from outside, cuddling her baby griffon.
"What, that's all it says?! stare "
"No. Also said to expect someone to pick us up."
"... Really? I don't know, that sounds-"
"I WON!!!" Koro suddenly screamed excitedly.
"Nuh uh blaugh " Tragic pointed at Koro's hand, "You have the black ring! I WIN!!!"
"No fair!" Koro tried to run out the front door but someone stood in the way.
"Why hello there!" A weird looking man said, I was called here by someone by the name of uh... Aidy?"
"Adie, dumbass." Yennon said without looking up.
"Er... right. I'm a chauffeur! And I will be the one to take you home. Please... come this way-"
"Go get our bags, dumbass. Are you new?" Yennon still wasn't looking at him, "Stop wasting space and put the bags in the car." Yennon pointed at the pile of bags in the corner, and went back to playing with her griffon.
The man visibly looked angry, but when he saw the griffon she was playing with he stiffened. He cleared his throat, "Ahem. Yes ma'am. Right away."
"Yennon..!" Pineapple Hero said in a hushed tone, "Yennon, don't you think-"
"No. I don't think I was rude in the very least stare "
"Not that! Don't you think that guy looks a bit familiar?"
"Huh? Who? eek "
"the guy you gave the third degree to!! scream "
"Ma'am, is this everything?" The weird looking guy said under the weight of the last three suit cases.
"Um... eek y-yes. Please give us a moment, we'll be out shortly blaugh " Yennon said pleasantly.
The guy glared at her for a moment and left.
"That is definitely Crim!" Yennon whispered, "If we go into that car, its a trap!"
"Good, you really did pay attention in Hero school." Yennon sneered at her, "Yen... we need to form a quick plan."
"Yeah, yeah. What do you think?" Yennon asked
"I think-"
"Holy crap!!" Yennon screamed.
"Get... in the van." Crim pointed a gun at both of them.
"Whoa... that... that's a little intense, isn't it buddy?" Pineapple Hero's hands went up, "I mean... what did we ever do to you? And by order of the Hero's Guild we don't carry guns. You know we're unarmed scream "
"Yeah! scream I mean, even Michael Jackson would offer some candy or even a pony ride before just whipping a gun out!! stare " Yennon screamed holding her baby Griffy from harm.
"Silence!" Crim shouted, "YOU!" he pointed the gun at Yennon.
"Uh... sorry if I hurt your feelings, but please don't hurt my Griffy, okay? Just let me put him away..."
"His name is NOT Griffy!!" Crim stomped his foot, "I was going to name him Crimson Jr! He's MINE!"
"...CRIMSON JR?! scream His name is Griffy Trent LaPierre! And I stole him from you fair and square!"
"Ugh, you gave him a full name? What's next?! Baby clothes!?" Pineapple Hero wrinkled her nose.
"Shut up Pineapple Dork! evil I'll name my pets whatever I want."
"SILENCE!!!" Crim screamed again, "Get in the van before I kill you right here!"
"We are NOT getting in that van!" Yennon spat at him.
"Oh yeah? Listen..."
In the distance they could plainly hear, "Van ride, van ride, van ride!!!"
"We've already got your cute little side kicks! twisted "
Yennon hesitated a moment, "Fine..! Fine, we'll cooperate." Yennon winked at Pineapple Hero to show she had a plan.
As they walked outside they could see Brian wearing a mustache at the end of the van, offering Tragic juice.
“Is this van stolen? mad ” Pineapple Hero asked.
“How can you tell?! gonk ”
"It says, Scott’s Window Repair Inc. on the side stare Tragic, Koro... What are you doing?" Pineapple Hero mumbled.
"The nice man gave us lemonade mrgreen " Koro said happily.
"Did he now? Nice work, Brian!" Crim was back in his disguise (god knows when he did that), "Now get in the back with Mr.Brian!”
Everyone crawled into the back of the van, Brian getting in last to guard the door. As soon as everyone got settled Yennon pointed at Tragic, “Tragic!! The time is NOW! Begin plan #4!!!”
“Right!!” Tragic jumped up, but suddenly fell over, “Oh no...”
“Tragic!?” Yennon gasped.
“Master...” Tragic fell on top of Koro who had fallen asleep before her.
“No!! What have you done!? scream ” Yennon shook Tragic.
“We knew Tragic could have easily disarmed us before we could even blink. So we gave them both a strong sleeping aid.” Brian said triumphantly.
“Why Koro?! She’s harmless!” Pineapple Hero said angrily.
“Well, we didn’t want Tragic getting suspicious.” Brian smiled, “Don’t worry. A nice nap never hurt anybody smile Now tie them up!! mad I want Tragic’s knots good and tight. She will NOT be your key to victory twisted ”
“They really got us this time, Pineapple Hero emo ” Yennon said... and you could tell she was upset, if she willingly called our hero by her name.
“Look... if its just my hat you want, let us go! You can have it..!” Pineapple Hero pleaded.
“Not this time.” Crim said angrily.
“Did you kidnap Mayor Adie too?!” Yennon shrieked, “And Orchid, and Angel!? What about Watermelon Head? What have you done with them!?”
“Oh... they were easy! twisted We simply stole THIS!!” Crim held up a whole ham.
The back of the van was silent for a while, while Yennon and Pineapple Hero stared at the ham and let their blood boil, “OMG!! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!! scream ”
As Yennon ranted and raved, Pineapple Hero watched the sandy beach roll by, and the mountains come ever closer.
~~~~~~~~ Elsewhere ~~~~~~~~
“Are you sure about this Utena?! eek ” Kitten held photos of the surrounding area in her hands, “This is so easy! I can’t believe it..!”
“I’m very sure.” Utena stood proudly, “This will win my votes back, come election day! blaugh ”
“Finally! All our hard work will pay off. YOU as our mayor! Justice will finally be served to these hoodlums known as Fauku and his ‘Brothers’.” Kimmy said excitedly.
“And get Adie back for the way she... won stare ” Kitten mumbled.
“It’s not just how she WON. It’s EVERYTHING! ” Utena started to pace the floor, “And when I win, there will be NO MORE Hero’s welcome here!!! evil ”
“Yay Miss Utena!! blaugh ” Kimmy and Kitten cheered.
At the door, Duke listened in...
~~~~~~~~ Back at the van ~~~~~~~~
Pineapple Hero and Yennon had been tied as well. They sat quietly as Crim and Brian drove up to a cave... with nice neon lighting on the outside, “We’re here girls.” Brian said as he jumped out of the van.
Tragic rolled over, her eyes rolling slightly, “Where..?”
“Sorry Tragic. We’ve been captured. Koro..? You up?” Pineapple Hero nudged her.
“Pineapple Hero...” she mumbled.
“It’ll be alright Koro neutral ” Pineapple Hero managed to say to her before she was pulled out of the van. Crim lined the girls up, and forced them to march toward the brightly lit cave.
Bo joined them as the walked onward toward the back. A bright light turned on, revealing Ned at the top of a spiral staircase, “Hello.” He said pleasantly, “I’m... sure you’re all wondering what I’m doing here. Well... let me show you... MY REAL FORM!!! evil ” Ned ripped off his snowy beard, letting it fall on the floor at their feet.
Koro and Tragic gasped!
“Ugh. I’m so pawning your armor stare ” Yennon stared.
“I knew you were Fauku all along scream ” Pineapple Hero shouted.
“Did you now? And yet... you did nothing about it. Didn’t say a thing. You even went on that bogus adventure into the valley. And you call yourself a... hero?! Mwa ha ha ha ha- eek ” suddenly Fauku gagged and went into a coughing spasm.
“Nice job. I’m so impressed stare I had to pretend I didn’t know who you were! Everyone believed you weren’t Fauku. No one would have been on my side at all, so I had to prove you were a phony!”
“*coff* Nice excuse! evil ” Lord Fauku slowly spun around and around the spiral staircase, “Ugh, we need a elevator stare And now!!!” He said as he reached the bottom, “You have something I want.”
“My stupid hat?! FINE! You can have it. Just let us all go, and it’s yours.”
“Oh ho!!! Not THIS time!! You ALL have something I want! evil ”
~~~~~~Meanwhile in England somewhere...~~~~~~
"This way!!! scream " Fanboy pointed towards the ocean.
"Uh.. are you going to swim there? stare " Air said just watching him.
"I would swim forever just to get to my love! " Fanboy yelled ankle deep in water.
"Do you want your inner tube back? stare " Air waved around his inner tube he had floated to shore with.
"*Gasp gargle gargle* gonk Help! *gargle*" Fanboy waved his arms about frantically.
"Sigh.... stressed "
Written By YennonCrow and QueenNanami
