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My parents say I'm looking "gaunt".

It sucks that I can't explain myself and the way I do things because I fear their disaproval or that they'll believe I'm getting an eating disorder.

"We believe you're smart enough to not do that stuff, BUT we believe.."

They're suspicious, I know they are. And it's partly my fault because I'm fearful of having them believe I'm getting an eating disorder because of my habits/way of thinking, and yet that's counter-productive because they're left in the dark and have to assume s**t.

I wish there would be less assuming and more coming straightforward and asking me. Openly SITTING DOWN and discussing this. None of this half-assed discussions, or beating around the bush by using teasing/light questions.

Gahhh. This is awful. We sat down and "talked" (ie they told me their opinion, I stayed mostly silent with my head bobbing.. again, big mistake) but the only thing that came out of it was my realization that I'm not telling them my exact details of dieting, or the 100% honest reason why I won't eat this or that. (Most of the time it's because I don't know how to measure it correctly.)

It's my fault I ended up hurting my dad's feelings, hurting my feelings and bawling about it, and making my mom sit down and try to deal with my dad and I after a hard day at work.

I feel like an a*****e.

142 @ 65 inches.
I'm not even at a healthy weight for my age.
(BMI says in generality I am healthy.)
I just happen to lose a lot more weight around my shoulders and face then I do around the other parts of my body. Mix that in with the time I get up and go to be (I get roughly 7-8.5 hours of sleep), and I'm going to look a bit different then when I was 200 pounds @ 65/64 inches, and getting 9-12 hours of sleep.

I don't know if it's really "dieting", I don't restrict myself to a certain food group, and if I crave something I manage to incorporate it into that calorie budget for that day. (And I do have "cheat" days from time-to-time when I let myself go over my usual calories..)

And I've been eating this way since June 11th... so a couple of months now. My calories amount isn't bad either, I eat about 1600-2000 calories a day (depending on activity level). That should be plentisome to get most of the required nutrients in. I get my required calorie amount from this chart. (Minus 500 for weight loss.)