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to the beat

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seiren hot on u

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:51 pm


to the kill we go
just a matter of time
to the thrill we go
It's all that shown
It's all fast
It's all gone by
On the beat
to the rythm
there we go
It's over and done
This is how i end it
In the rythm of life

<3 the black lined heart
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 2:19 pm


It's very full of emotion and realism, and it flows quite nicely. Good job! I just have one quick issue, a pet peeve of mine that drives me to insanity:

Quote:
This is how i end it


This is how I end it. I. Please capitalize that 'I'.

Harpe Eolienne

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