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Radioactive Applesauce Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:29 pm
Post your best work!
Don't forget to vote!
Winner: God-s Hitman good work
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Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 8:44 pm
dang, too bad i missed last week. that was an awesome prize! anyway, here's this week's.
One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word ''tragedy.''
"Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!"
The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?"
A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!"
The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"
A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!"
"Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?"
"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:52 pm
A Man Walks By Saw A Sign Outside A Bar Saying 'Free Beer For Like. See Bartender.'
So The Man Enters And Approaches The Bartender Asking About The Free Beer For life.
The Bartender Says,"Alright There Are Three Things You Must Do Before You Get Free Beer. First You See That Man Over There?".
The Man Turns To See A Very Large, Muscular Man Who's Head Is Almost To The Ceiling. The Bartender Says, "You Have To Knock Him Out With One Punch."
"Oh. Okay, Whats Next?" Asks The Man.
"Do You See That Dog Outside?" And There Was Indeed A Rabid, Large, And Vicious Bull Dog Outside, Tied To A Sign.
"It Has A Sore Tooth And You Have To Pull It Out." The Bartender Explains.
"And Last?" Asks The Man, Unsure.
"That Woman Over There Is 90 Years Old And Has Never Had An Orgasm."
Where The Bartender Was Pointing Was An Old, Frail Women. Sitting At A Table.
"And You Have To Give Her One."
"Alright I Guess I'll Get Started."Says The Man And Orders A Round Of Shots.
He And The Large Man Drink And Drink Until Both Are Delirious. Finally The Man Stands On Top Of The Table And Punches The Large Man, Who Falls Over And Faints.
Next, The Man, Who Is Drunk And Wavering, Steps Outside To Grab The Dog. A Cloud Of Dust Encircles Them Both And The Bartender Cannot See What Happens As He Hears The Dog Barking And Whimpering.
The Man Comes Back In, Bloody And Torn, And Says,"Al. . .right. . .Now Where's. . .That. . Old Lady. . .With The Sore Tooth."
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