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 Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:30 am
Could you tell me what you think, what I can work on, anything like that.
Thanks!
-I'm raining on the inside-
When all goodbyes are said and done and nighttime finds you home, are you alright to spend a night of being all alone?
And do you hide between the lines of conversations past? A wall of words, a heart unheard, that hides behind a mask?
I'm raining on the inside, my heart wells up with tears that start to pour. I'm raining on the inside, but then your arms of love break through and I fall in love with you once more.
When friends who care can't be there to ease away my pain. Peace of mind thats hard to find is like sunshine in the rain.
You see my heart, the deepest part, inside this lonely me. And reaching in, your love begins to heal the hurt in me.
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:40 am
I think it was shallow which is not a bad thing. It seemed very clear what the meaning was and you wanted to express that's good. If you wanted more you would have to explore your feelings or ways of relating or explaining them more but this is to complicate things which is also not a bad thing. I didn't like it but I liked that you wrote it, I didn't dislike it but it put me in neutral. Hope this helped and please keep writing! 3nodding
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