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 Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:10 am
Ok, I don't know if this belongs here. But here i go...
So i left the father of my baby when i was about 5 months pregnant. Only now i feel really horrible. Yet he never made me feel special, I always felt like he liked his ex girlfriend who has his other baby more than me. I always felt like I was being compared to her, and anything that I did was wrong. He also always talked to these other girls at the beginning of the pregnancy, and a year before that he had cheated on me with them (I don't know why I stayed with him after he cheated?). Then in our apartment that we had together he lost his job a month into it and I had to work two jobs. When I found out I was pregnant he was talking to those girls again and I was going to leave then, but I waited a few more months. He didn't even buy me a pregnancy test or acted like it phased him one bit that I was pregnant, as if a child is just a video game and can easily be paid for. So he has always said he loved me but I didn't feel completely loved and i haven't talked to him in i guess 2 or 3 months. Plus now that I on;y have 5 weeks left in my pregnancy he finally got a job. But I feel like I have taken the world away from him even though when we were together he was very controlling and basically took the world from me, when I could have been experiencing life. It's not like I would ever not let him see his son it wil be his fault if he doesn't come around. Except now it feels like I should give him another chance even though I can't trust him.
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:10 pm
I'm having a hard time understanding where your guilt and confusion about having made the right decision are coming from: you seem rather confused as well. Why would you go back to be burned again from someone who has made it clear that you can not trust them and has no respect for you?
From what you've said, he's expressed no interest in this baby or you. He's treated you poorly and I wouldn't expect him to treat his child any better. It doesn't sound like he thinks he's missing out on anything, just that you're worried that he will. (Frankly, your child won't be missing out by not having an uninvolved father either. There is nothing worse then being rejected repeatedly by your dad and having him show little to no interest in you. I know that from experience and mine was at home.)
I say call a spade a spade. Don't fantasize about what he could be and "what if." "What if"s will only distract you and make you make a poor decision. Deal with reality and the facts.
And yes, anything of this nature does indeed belong in here. smile
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Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 4:51 am
You totally made the right choice. Don't regret it or second guess yourself.
Maybe it's more that you're lonely in general than you want this guy back. A lot of my friends dissapeared while I was pregnant and I had a lot of that going on in my life at that time. It's possible you're lonely for the "boyfriend" connection you have when you're seeing someone. It's a very special connnection, and a specific feeling, to have that other person with you, looking out for you. It's all that much more natural while you're pregnant and nesting. Look for someone else who will treat you in the way that you deserve.
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 8:17 am
Oh yes, I remember feeling that way. I broke up with my baby's father a few times over the last decade, and truth be told I love him and he loves me. But the same problems continue to haunt me. As for his manner around his daughter, he's just the babysitter, most of the time. Watching her, making sure she eats. But never actually interacting with her, playing with her, teaching her important morals. It's so gosh-darn pointless, it makes me want to scream and rip out all of my hair.
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