Should I be Mad at "him/her"? | Page 1 | The All Bi~Gay~Lesbian Hangout | Guild Forums

izzybelYUME17

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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:52 pm

Hey I need some advice since I don't have pretty much any experience in relationships
okay this one is a tuffy for me...
I've been seeing my boyfriend here on gaia for almost two years now.. Well he and I have been video chatting and talking on the phone for a long time now...
It didn't take long for both of us to fall in love with each other..
and I mean the "jump in front of a bullet, dive off a cliff, sacrifice my life to save you" kinda love
So our relationship soared to new heights lately and we've been planning on how we're gonna meet in reality so we could be together...
I knew from the pictures I've seen he looked younger and from hearing his voice on the phone he sounded.... kinda girlish...
Well I had my doubts but I didn't want to say anything just incase I was wrong and I might hurt his feelings, that it might sound like I was mocking him...
Well eventually it came to where I had this really unnerving feeling that he was lying to me about something, at the moment I had no idea what it could have been, just that something was wrong...
After a lot of tears and shouts he came out and told me he was really a 14 year old girl... (not that bad age wise, just a year younger than moi)
I know this isn't my secret to tell and it's horrible of me to say aloud without his knowing but I need help! that and I'm not giving his/her identity away in this..
anyways I'm not sure if I should be angry that "he" lied to me for all this time or glad that he finally came out and trusted me with his darkest secret...
She said she didn't want to tell me cause she was scared she would loose me cause something I said a long time ago that I can't even remember scared her...
I'm just getting over the shock..... kinda

So what do you all think? Should I be mad at "him" for this?
While I was really hurting about it I was thinking about breaking up but.... I know she had good reason to keep it from me... she was scared she would loose me but... I just don't know what I should do about this....
any advice?
oh and I have yet to talk to her about it... can't til monday...

Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:43 pm

Personally, I would be absolutely pissed that the person lied to me, but it's kinda like in the movie Boys Don't Cry with Hilary Swank. Where she dresses up as a guy and this chikk falls in love with her as the guy named Brandon. Then it is found out that she actually is a girl and she is still in love with her, but slightly confused about it. But it has a happy ending.

Just talk about it with her.

lollipop_dresses

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Distorted Hate

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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:16 pm

You should be mad and disappointed in her.. Yes.. But you love her still right? And when it comes to love... does gender really matter?

Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:47 pm

If you still love her then Gender doesn't need to take a roll in this. So long as she wasn't lieing about anything else then it shouldn't really matter. If it is "jump in front of a bullet, dive off a cliff, sacrifice my life to save you" love then keep at it.

KuroiTehLycan

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Lost_Forever_Soul

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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:09 pm

i know exactly how you feel. i mean, we weren't i love, but i trusted "her" with a lot, i told her about my problems, and i felt like we really knew eachother. then one day, she just comes out and tells me she's a he. i mean, we weren't dating, and i'd never seen her, but it was still a bad feeling, like you were really deceived. it hurts a lot, and we don't talk anymore. but we didn't have what you have. i'd say follow your heart. you guys can work it out. maybe you can take it slow, get used to her being a girl? i mean, love knows no gender, and you fell in love with her personality, not necessarily her physical being... sorry if that sounds weird, i just really feel you.

Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:27 pm

well, he lied to you, and that's never good. but that doesn't necessarily mean that you can't totally trust him. i mean, you guys loved each other a whole lot, and simply because of a simple fear, you shouldn't totally hate him. i mean, was it cuz he's transgender that he lied or was it just because they thought you were gay or...
you know what? forget everything i said earlier. the answer depends mainly on why he lied to you the way he did. if he's transgender, then it's kinda understandable. if she's just being weird and wanted to get in love with a chick and thought there was no other way, then you should think about it a lot.

the_forgotten_thought
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XxAriLovesYouxX

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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:57 am

You should honestly give him... Her rather, another chance. You fell in love with the person, not the gender, right. I mean it's understandable to be upset with her for lying, but she was only doing it out of love, which I fully understand. Give her another chance and see where it takes you.

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:18 pm

Thank you all so much for all of your help/advice/support
It really does mean a lot to me that you all have such positive attitudes about it and I agree with everyone's ideas about it.
Thank you all again so very much for the optimism (i really need it; a lot of people don't like us being together.... pretty obvious why)

izzybelYUME17

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izzybelYUME17

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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:20 pm

lollipop_dresses

Personally, I would be absolutely pissed that the person lied to me, but it's kinda like in the movie Boys Don't Cry with Hilary Swank. Where she dresses up as a guy and this chikk falls in love with her as the guy named Brandon. Then it is found out that she actually is a girl and she is still in love with her, but slightly confused about it. But it has a happy ending.

Just talk about it with her.

ooh i'm going to have to watch that now mrgreen

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