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 Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:09 am
It was is life on this earth had once again become a living hell, a place where he was surrounded what he imagined any other male would take for a wonderful family... a place where he was supposed to be happy and lazy and let his life sink away into nothing, into the big waters that Ausi and he now lived by. Once again he felt alone, solitary and had withdrawn into his own being. No longer did odd images flash through his mind as he slept, now it was just nightmares of the past fluttering in his brain. He could not escape them, except in the waking world, and had been awake for three moons straight. He was feeling the result of such stupid actions, his mind and body both felt very sluggish and off, but he was still unwilling to shut his eyes longer than a few minutes.
The lack of sleep, and his general personality, had left him very moody and liable to snap at anything Ausi did or said to him. To try and distract himself from his petty problems or hurting his mate's feelings he'd decided to walk. That had been three days ago, when he'd also decided to stop sleeping. Ausi would probably be very angry with him when he returned to the sea, but he'd just not been able to turn back. Now he was in the rogue lands, with not recollections of his exact location, just somewhere north-east from the lands he now 'belonged' to. With the thought he grimaced and spat slightly, grumbling something under his breath.
He was just coming to the rise of a hill, and as he got to the top he could feel himself grow lightheaded. He took a deep breath, as if to try and calm his mind, and his vision began to get blurry. His body swayed dangerously as he suddenly stumbled forward and collapsed, sliding about halfway down the hill. The strain of staying awake so long had been too much on his body paired with the three days of almost tireless walking! He mumbled something, his mind swimming in black, but after a second he was no longer aware of anything.
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:16 am
Ivie had her new life too.
She'd left Dharba. She'd always felt a soft spot for him, partly because he reminded her so much of his brother and partly because he had shown her such kindness. However, no matter how much she cared for him she knew she could never love him.
And now she couldn't even have him as a friend. She'd hurt him too many times to deserve such a title. So now...they were mere coincidences.
Not long after she had left Dharba she had made her way to the Mwezi'Johari, a land she had been told about during her time as a rogue. It was a nice place but she'd yet to make any good friends there. Sometimes she wondered whether Thoth would return. He was nice and certainly handsome. She'd never met a male with a colour pelt like his.
Either way things were looking up for her. Maybe one day she'd be able to put her past behind her fully. Maybe she'd be able to get rid of her seer powers or at the very least control them so that she wasn't pounced on by horrible, terrifying visions. But thinking of seer powers always brought the memories of one particular lion to mind.
The lion she had an extremely unhealthy obsession with.
Little did she know that that lion was only a few paces away. A few seconds later and she glanced up to see the silhoutte of a lion cresting the hill ahead of her. She squinted but couldn't make out who it was. The wind wasn't on her side either. Even still, the lion was obviously that; a lion. Maybe it'd be fun to stop and flirt---talk--- with the stranger.
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:28 am
It wasn't long before consciousness returned to him though, only disappearing into the darkness for a few minutes at most. He groaned as he blinked his eyes open, staring at his paw and the blades of grass sticking up from it. He felt like crap, every fiber of his being. Sometimes he wondered why he did not die once upon a time when he'd been in that fight with that irritable b*****d of a god. In all rights he probably should have been dead by then, Ausi had never told him of the goddess of healing's help. That felt like it'd happened so long ago, years and years. No longer was he able to judge when some of his memories had happened, or if this or that came first. He wondered, often, if he still had any sanity left to cling to or if his mind had been so twisted from so long ago.
He mumbled slightly as he began to drag his body up, still unaware of the familiar smell that was passing by his nostrils. Vaguely he was aware of it, on some level, but he was preoccupied with his current thoughts. His thinking certainly meant he thought himself insane, but he could never remember deciding such a moronic thing about himself. Ivie... He shook his head slightly as the thought breezed by, trying to let his mind settle. Suddenly he stopped moving though, becoming just a bit more alert. Ivie... why was her scent so close?
He did not move a muscle, and for a moment was almost thankful for such an interruption. His body could relax... sort of. Ivie.... oh he could have had done so much more with her! If only he had not held himself back.. if only he was not bound body and soul to Ausi. Ivie had been so easy to manipulate, to control... and now... oh their last meeting had been quite the show.
Slowly he began to rise again, his eyes narrowed and shifting lazily around the area. His vision was still a bit distorted, as were his thoughts, but he did not want to be imagining things. He had to see if Ivie was really there, if he could really smell her. His gaze had past right by her and it'd taken several seconds for his mind to register what he saw. His gaze floated back toward her, now he was fully sitting up. A slightly sick and very twisted smile was spreading across his maw, though he would have repressed it if he'd been aware. "Ivie.." He mumbled to himself, wondering just how much he'd crushed her spirit.
To think she'd even tried to pull such crap with those cubs and his brother, Dharb. He was a brother only in name, really. Fedha had never been bound by family until Ausi had bore him children, and he was not so sure he was even bound very tightly to them. Still, he needed to figure out a path of action quickly because the female was headed straight for him.
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:40 am
The lion looked sick. Poor thing! Maybe if she made him feel better she could win his heart and have him doting on her! Oh that would be so much fun! Having a male's sole attention was a sort of dream for Ivie.
But, that hope was cut short.
The lion stirred and as he lifted his head she saw the glint of eyes in the shadow. Then the darkness lifted and she saw a white mane framing a grey face. Her heart twisted and for a moment she thought someone had stuck something deep in her chest. She froze.
That face. She'd never forget that face.
It was a face she had loved, adored, yearned for. She had dreamt of that face, dreamt of those brilliant eyes. Yet since his rejection of her she had started to despise it. Every time it appeared in a dream or a vision she'd be filled with a terrible hate that crushed her. It had been destroying her.
For so many days she'd promised herself that if she saw him again she'd make him pay. He'd pay for making her fall for him! But seeing him there, looking dazed and unsure, she knew that her love bested her hate for him. Oh she loved him. Her love was an obsession, something that drove her mad.
And realising that she'd been standing frozen on the spot, face a picture of indecision she moved towards him, pace quickening.
"If it isn't Fedha'Kialio." She replied with a growl, but the growl died and was replaced with sad silence. When she spoke again her voice was soft. "Are you okay?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:18 pm
Fedha was quite a bit surprised when Ivie greeted him, something in him slightly pleasured by the growl in her voice while at the same time he was confused by it, and pissed by it. Ivie should not be talking to him like that, no matter how much he'd hurt her and... ah, there it was. The soft and passive voice of the lioness that he knew. His smile had faltered at the growl, but was back in place when she finished speaking. "Ivie'Lingwa.." he said slowly, suddenly feeling like he should have a bit of fun... or maybe a nap... but surely this was a rare occurrence, he hadn't seen her since that fated day of his second obvious rejection to her. "Do not tell me you still come near my home in attempts to get a glimpse of me Ivie'lingwa.." He said slowly, his words cruel but his voice smooth. He obviously did not realize how close the the Mwezi'johari lands he was, how far he'd walked in the three days.
"In any case, I am fine." He said, now slightly irritable when he realized she'd just seen him being weak. There were many things Fedha hated, appearing weak or his weaknesses being shown to others was pretty high up on the list. "I just have not slept lately." He said, sourly. He realized he should probably cool it, and also his sluggish mind had called attention to an important question.
"Tell me.." He hesitated though, decided he should wait before asking what he really wanted to know. "How have you been, Ivie?" His voice was suddenly kind, as if their past had not been theirs at all and as if they were still friends. It might work... it had probably worked in the past. Even the shortening of her name, something he used to never dream of using, showed that he was back to 'chummy Fedha' right then. "You look well." His gaze floated over her body slowly, trying to judge what she'd been up to.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 12:21 am
Her head was a whirl of confused feelings. She hated him. No, she loved him. Hate. Love. Hate. Love. Ugh! How was she supposed to know what she felt for him? She found herself infuriated that he could lure her in so easily.
Maybe it was because he had looked so weak just a moment ago. Maybe she was drawn to it because it was a part of him she had never seen before. Besides, he was the only lion who could help her. It was one of the reasons why she loved him so.
And he spoke her name. Her full name. A shiver lanced down her spine and just like that, she was his again.
She took another step forwards. She didn't answer his first question. She wasn't sure what he meant by it. Had the roguelands now become his home? She was sure she hadn't wandered that far! In any case, a thought crept into her mind. Maybe he was all the way our here, sleepless and weak, because his mate had thrown him out.
Maybe...maybe...
"I'm glad you're okay." She shook the thoughts away. No. He'd hurt her so badly, broken her heart in two. Besides there were plenty more males out there for her. She'd just find another one who bested the grey.
"I've been fine." She replied. "I left---" The words died in her mouth. No, she wouldn't tell him that she'd left Dharba. "I'm at a new pride now. New friends and everything." She took another step. "I feel well." And she did. If only she could rid herself of these conflicting feelings. "But..." She trailed off and shook her head.
"Why aren't you at the Bahari'mtoto?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:40 am
A new pride? Fedha's cool gaze slowly rolled off of the lioness and moved about the area. A new pride... he wondered where exactly he might be. Surely he had not traveled so far from Ausi's den? As she began to speak again he looked back toward her, his thoughts and mind still feeling fuzzy. Ivie.... oh the things he could have done if he'd played his games just a bit differently... perhaps if he had not fallen in love with Ausi.
She was so.... stupid. Fedha almost resented the fact that she was so easily being kind to him after he'd broken her heart, so easily she slipped into the old ways. Still, he did not let himself resent her because he needed her. He was not exactly sure why he needed her, but the thought had tumbled in and our of his brain slowly enough to realize it was true. Ivie'lingwa was a very lovely tool, one he enjoyed using. Now if onyl he could figure out her powers... "You left?" He prompted lightly, climbing to his paws slowly so he would not show how shakey his body was feeling. He wondered what exactly she'd left... Dharb? The Bahari'mtoto? Something else, even. He was already slipping past her, expecting her to follow him. "Ivie, where is a watering hole?" His voice was calm and soft, almost a little deattached from the situation. He needed to find out about his powers... but he also needed a drink.
A new pride? So she left the Bahari'mtoto and she had friends and... a life, from the sound of it. That would not do at all, Lions could not have lives if they were to be used for things. But what was he itching to use her for? He did not know, but the need remained. "Oh? Well what an adventure.." He rolled his eyes, glad not to be facing her. "Sounds like a new life, that's good." He was careful to not let the mocking feelings he had on the matter creep into his voice and instead glanced over his shoulder and forced a slow smile onto his face. "I really need a drink, Ivie." He was careful to be pleasant, sure she would drink it up. He was growing impatient and had not realized it had only been a few seconds of his first asking.
He began to walk forward once again, tail flicking and his expression slipping back into that of a cold and annoyed lion. "I couldn't sleep... I've been punished for my hostile and less than nice acts in the past." He spoke very slowly, trying to make his voice sound sad. He was not used to the emotion though, and really had trouble mimicking it. Still, it didn't hurt to play on Ivie's emotions and act as if he was sorry for past events. "The gods see fit to punish such a horrible lion.." He'd stopped walking and let his head drop a little, listening carefully. Oh he might laugh if he was not feeling so thirsty and hazey right then!
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:04 pm
She could not have imagined the thoughts running through the grey's mind. That was the problem. She didn't see the sneaky, cunning looks or the thoughtful expression. She only say the handsome tilt of his maw and the glisten in his eyes.
She stepped closer, drawn to him.
No A little voice in the back of her head warned her, He's hurt you before and he'll do it again. Remember your broken heart! But then another voice argued in defence.
What if he had changed? Could she take the risk? What if he had changed? Maybe she could woo him yet, maybe he would look at her and think her beautiful and irrisistable. Maybe he would want her as a mate! Maybe she could truly be happy again instead of being twisted and haggard and depressed.
And then he was moving and he asked her about water. She jerked from her reverie and moved to walk alongside him. "Not too far. Come on, I'll show you." Then he was talking again and she hurried to catch up. Then she took the lead by a stride, glancing him out of the corner of her eye. Poor Fedha...what had happened to him?
"Don't worry, it's not far, I promise."
And then he spoke again and her heart lurched.
He'd paid for his mistakes? So had she? Maybe there was hope after all.
"I've paid for my mistakes too." She whispered quietly. "My children hate me...Dharba is...gone." Yes, she'd admit everything to him, might as well be open so he didn't think she was involved with another male. Make herself available and maybe he'd finally show interest.
"We've both paid for our mistakes." She continued. "But I don't hate you Fedha'kialio. I thought I would. I thought I'd hate you forever. But I can't. You've..." She looked away. Might as well say it now.
"You've still got my heart."
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:40 pm
Good, water. Soon his mouth would not feel so disgusting and perhaps he could clear his head, which felt so stuffy and chaotic. And sleep... he needed sleep, his body felt like hell. He was not even aware that Ivie was watching him from the corner of her eye, something he could normally pick up on at least. His eyes were narrowed slightly and he made a slight grunt to let her know he'd heard what she said, but felt a reply wasn't really needed and therefore stupid. Besides, it wasn't as if he had to be chatty for such a simple fool...
He glanced to Ivie as she began to speak of her own troubles and couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. This was about him and she was trying to steal the spotlight... who cared about Dharba and his worthless, disgusting offspring? "Tcht." The sound was bitter and showed his annoyance as he looked back forward, slowing his steps a little as he began to feel dizzy once again. "Cubs are nothing to be bound to and their emotions shouldn't matter to you.... it just lets you free yourself of them." And this was Fedha being nice... oh well. Still, he felt she was rather lucky that her children hated her, it probably left her blissful amounts of time to spend by herself... of course, he didn't realize it wasn't normal wanting to be off on your own nearly as often as he did. "And Dharba.." He gave a cold chuckle and decided this was his opening to keep reeling Ivie in, bind her to him. "He is worthless... probably ran back to mommy." He almost spat the words, suddenly feeling jealous and pissy and he was not quite sure why. "You know.." His voice suddenly dropping to something softer as a slow smile came to his maw. "That he could never replace me Ivie. There is no comparison.." He smirked slightly, his gaze slightly smoldering as he watched her. "I am much better... and surely this meeting is our fate, the work of those disgusting gods..." He had to turn away a moment to keep her from seeing him rolling his eyes, wondering why she even bought any of this garbage ever.
His ear flicked toward her and he looked slightly surprised, but his face was still turned away. Surely it was a good thing, because it his the twisted and wicked smile that had graced his features. He was quickly trying to construct a proper response, something that would leave her hanging on but making it clear he had no interest... of course... he still felt a need of something from her. It would come, in time... for now he just needed to keep her attached and it seemed to already been set.
Luckily he would not have to make up anything, he could see the watering hole just ahead. "I thought you said it was close." He said sourly, but there was something actually playful in his words as if he was teasing Ivie. He picked up his pace slightly, "It's good you don't hate me Ivie'Lingwa... You must understand I never hated you.." He said, tossing a glance her way with a very serious look on his face. Actually, it was very true. He'd never hated Ivie in his life, he simply saw her as a means to an end... and in very rare moments he could feel almost a friendship toward her. Of course, those had been in the past and he was terrified more than anything of such emotions toward such a weak lioness.
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:16 am
The sound of annoyance, to Ivie, was something akin to jealousy and inside her chest her heart started to waken. It was as if it had died that day Fedha had rejected her, died and never revived. Not until they were together again...
Not until this very moment.
"They're all gone." Ivie confirmed. What she didn't say was that she did miss them, that she loved them desperately. And losing them - or at least Phusa and Nissa - she'd been even more depressed than before. She'd lost the love of her life, a good friendship with Dharba and the respect of her cubs. She'd had nothing until now.
And then he continued, talking about Dharba and how he was no comparison. She was almost tempted to say; he didn't reject me like you did. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't want to risk losing this moment, this brief, wonderful moment. So instead she smiled and nodded. "Dharba was sweet but he wasn't you, Fedha'Kialio." She whispered. "He never had my heart racing."
And then he confirmed it.
He didn't hate her! He didn't hate her!
She wanted to throw herself at him, nuzzle him, do everything possible to show how happy that one little phrase had made her. But she couldn't. She was too afraid she'd push him away. Oh but how she wanted to...
How many lions had she been with and pretended that it was Fedha with her instead of some stranger? How many times had she slept alone, pretending he was at her side instead of another's? How many times had she whispered his name? How many times had she told herself she hated him and then thought of him with a fond smile on her face?
"Thank you Fedha'Kialio. You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that." And for a moment she walked in thoughtful silence, pausing when they reached the pool. She drank, soothing her own thirst, and glanced up at him nervously.
Was this really happening?
Her heart gleamed in her eyes and though she didn't say it, it was clear what she was thinking.
She loved him.
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