Welcome to Gaia! ::

When are you ready? When you can be comfortable with the decision you are making and know that you will not regret your actions when they are done. If you have doubts such that you have to ask here, you probably aren't ready. Just my view.

How to know if she is ready? Try discussing the topic with her. Her answers should allow you greater insight into the question.

Very good advice. biggrin

With my ex, we/I wanted to have sex for a long time, but it was a matter of getting around our parents, since they were at the point where they still weren't letting us sleep over at each other's houses, even after over a year of dating. I had to semi-lie to my parents to get him to be allowed to come over, and then I had to sneak into the basement. We were both a little nervous, but felt ready. Looking back, I can see that maybe that wasn't entirely the case, but it felt right at the time, and we both felt ready.

Generally if you are second-guessing yourself, and are feeling like you're not ready (as you said yourself in your first post), then it usually means you're not ready, and it's best not to rush it.

If you are going to go ahead and have sex, as Chalda said, do your research. If one/both of you has been sexually active before, get tested for STD's. It might be a good idea to get tested anyways, even if you're both virgins, to check for bacteria and other stuff. Talk to your girlfriend about birth control, and you two can help her decide which one to go on (because condoms are not enough on their own). Discuss what you will do if she gets pregnant, like adoption and abortion or raising the child yourselves. This is very important, because I can speak from experience how hard it makes things if the couple doesn't talk about it.
And, even though you two will probably be nervous your first time, try to make it special. Something nice to remember for a long time, if not the rest of your lives. smile

That's fine, glad we can be of help. mrgreen

And hey, I've told the story of me and my ex all around this guild, in the GPG, and in LI. If my ex found out I was telling our sexual history all around Gaia, to complete strangers, I'm pretty sure he'd kill me. xd

I wont be much help to you in this case.
I belive that sex should only take place between husband and wife.

I wouldn't call this a violation of rules persay, but I will remind you that if you don't have anything relavent to say to the person who's asking for help, it might be better to just not post at all.
Consider this a reminder, and please try to be more careful about what you say in the future. smile

When you're done questioning whether or not you're ready...you're ready. You know because it feels right...you know it was something you are ready to do because you don't question if its the right person or if you should be waiting.

You'll know because you don't feel pushed to do it. You're doing it because it is somehting you want to share with the person you love...you're not doing it because you feel you have to.

Hope that helps and feel free to PM me...I don't want to start a long lecture on this unless you're interested.