Welcome to Gaia! ::

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.
Out of the Shadows, Chapter 0ne: leaving the village.

The full moon shone bright against the quiet streets of kahona. An owl hooted outside the gates and a wolf howl could be heard in the distance. A lone figure could be seen outside of a dilapidated apartment complex. He was dressed in black robes and a hood covered his face. The stranger made a hand seal and disappeared into a shadow.
The stranger seemed to melt out of a shadow on the inside of a room. A hidden blade slid out of an apparatus on his wrist. The blood-red blade seemed to glisten in the moonlight that shone in through a window in the apartment complex. The assassin seemed to glide around the room until he arrived at a room where feint breathing could be herd. The assassin glided up to his target to look at him.
“W...w...what is this, he is only a child. This could not be a demon that everybody seemed to fear.” The surprised assassin breathed to himself. The boy had unruly blond hair and three whisker-like marks on each cheek. ‘Oh well, time to die.’ Thought the assassin to him as he put the blade to the boy’s neck. It was then that he noticed the scars. All over every part of the boys torso and legs.
The assassin was at a moral crossroads. This child had obviously been abused horribly by the villagers. But it was his job to kill him. What to do. He withdrew his blade, his choice made. The boy would come with him, to be trained as an assassin, or as a juggernaut. He gently shook the boy awake. The boy looked startled as he saw the assassin, and tried to escape, but the assassin held him tight.
“Stop your foolish attempts at escape, if I wanted you dead, you would already been dead.” Hissed the assassin. The boys eyes widened, but he stopped struggling.
“Good, then. I am going to tell you something. I am an assassin hired by this village to kill you, but seeing you I have decided to offer you a choice. Would you like to stay in this village, where they will most likely try to kill you again, or would you like to come with me, and be trained to fight, so that you can protect yourself from those that would harm you. If you come with me, you will not be treated like these villagers treat you. What do you say?”
The boy’s eyes hardened as he said decisively, “yes, I would love to come with you.”
“Good then, we leave right now, grab some clothes.” As the boy went to put on some clothes, he asked.
“So, what is the name of my would be assassinator?”
Seeing the clothes the boy was putting on, he quickly grabbed them away from him.
He then answered. “First off, if you are to come with me, you cannot dress like this.” He said pointing to a gaudy orange jumpsuit. “We will get you some clothes in a minute; second, my name is Kazeryu.”
He then grabbed the kid and melted into a shadow. He then reappeared outside of a shop and said, “Wait here.” He then did the shadow teleport into the store. Five minuets later, he reappeared beside Naruto and handed him a muscle shirt and some shorts.
“This will have to do for now. We leave now.”
Kazeryu then grabbed the kid and started running.
The sound of birds chirping woke Naruto up. He looked around and noticed that he was riding on the shoulder of Kazeryu. Then he noticed something else.
“Kaze-san, why don’t you have a shadow?” Asked the young blond.
Kazeryu stated, ‘because, when one takes the test to decide what path to take, you feed your shadow to the boss Shadow Wolf, and he decides what your path is. Mine was an assassin, so I received a summoning contract with the Shadow Wolves. If it had been different, I would have gotten the summoning contract of my own shadow, and become a literal juggernaut, with explosive charka, whereas I was given shadow charka.”
“That is so cool, when can I take the test?!?” asked Naruto.
The assassin chuckled. “well, first, you have to learn the clan fighting style, which is called blood fist, then you take the test and if you are destined to be an assassin, you learn lightning fist, but if you are designed to be a fighter, you learn the exploding fist. And here we are.” Said Kazeryu.
Naruto looked up and say a village, but not just any village, the village was spread out through a huge abyss, little patches of homes the and here hewn out of the living rock. And all connected by ropes or wooden poles, like a giant jungle gym. Ant in the middle, there was a large spire of rock in the middle of the abyss, and at the top, was a castle. The capitol of Village Hidden in the Abyss.
“Naruto, welcome to Shen’engakure, the village hidden in the abyss, my home.” Kazeryu beamed.
Naruto noticed that there were these little overhanging everywhere that gave shade, no matter what the time was. He pointed to one and asked, “Hay, what are those?”
“Those, are how we get everywhere, by using the shadow teleport jutsu, you can teleport to any shadow big enough to encompass you in sight. W have to go see the kagekage anyway, so I might as will show you how to do it. Make this seal, and say shadow teleport just, then concentrate on yourself being in the shadow you are aiming for, don’t let anything distract you, or you might end up falling into the endless abyss. This is your first test, if you can’t do this, you don’t deserve to be taught here.” He then proceeded to push Naruto off of the edge into the abyss.
“Son of a-shadow teleport justu!” he yelled, focusing on a point at the base of the great spire. He then noticed that he was not falling anymore, but standing on solid rock.
“Bwahahhaha, that was hilarious, you should have seen yourself, but I’m proud of you.” Laughed Kazeryu
Naruto reared up and shouted indignantly, “you could have killed me, what the heck were you thinking!”
It wouldn’t have killed you; there is a rock ledge about 20 foot under you. But you did real well, the first time I had that done on me, I didn’t make it, and landed on the ledge, scared the heck out of me.”

I read this little paragraph thing and decided that I shouldn't read the rest, because it really bugs me when people start almost every sentence with the same thing. But, I still wanted to help, so here I go... Don't start all your sentences with the same thing. And that kind of "feint" would be faint, I'm pretty sure. And instead of saying blade two times close together, how about saying dagger the second time? Or knife?
dramallama dramallama dramallama
All in all, don't use the same words too much.
dramallama dramallama dramallama
And, by the way, sorry if that's not the kind of help you were thinking of. I just had to point that out. sweatdrop