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 Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 3:42 pm
I was curious about how long you waited after your first baby to get pregnant with your second?
My son is five months old. I want a second baby one day, but I'm not sure when. It won't be anytime soon, because we aren't even financially stable enough for one, and I'm only 19. I'd like to wait at least a couple years anyway.
biggrin
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 4:46 pm
I'm *still* pregnant with my first. But ideally for me my second would be born around the time my first was 3.5. 4 at the oldest. It's out of diapers(for most kids) but still young enough to not *really* remember being an only child. I think it really depends on your lifestyle and everything....
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:19 pm
My sons will be 18 months apart.
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:52 pm
Ethan will be about 28 months old when this one is born...so he was 19 months old when we conceived this one. We were aiming for him to be in the 2 1/2-3 year old range when the next would be born...we got pretty close. smile
It's really up to you how you want to space them and it's a highly personal choice. Some like their children really close together in age, some like 2-3 years apart, others like to space them further. Your lifestyle and other criteria will let you know what's right for you. In our case, I want to have a "me" life again in the next five years and both kids in school, so I didn't want to space our children too far apart and still have a baby at home at that time.
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:02 pm
Agreed. And you know what, whatever the age difference is, it'll work for you and your family. There's pros and cons to all of them.
My stepson and my oldest are 9 years apart. My youngest and oldest are 4 years apart. I wanted 3, but dh deployed. It was nice to have him potty trained and in preschool, made it a little easier to rest up.
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Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:17 am
My sister and I are about 22 months apart, and she and my youngest sister are 21 months apart. For three girls I think that's a really good age. And then my brother is 10 years younger than me. It was an awesome mix, I think.
I dunno... I think when Aden's around 1 1/2 or 2 we'll try again (depending on our financial situation then... the way things are going we should be in a good place). That way they'll be close enough to get along when they're older, I think.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:22 pm
I hope things work out well enough for you that you can space your children out how you want.
I wanted to have my kids about 15 months apart, which is how far apart my brother and I are, but things were not totally settled when Raelin hit the right age range for that spacing. After her first birthday, we finally decided that things were stable enough to try again. Both Mark and I had good jobs, we were looking to buy a house, etc.
It took longer to get pregnant then we thought it would, but we finally did, two weeks after buying our first house... then I was laid off (and no one was hiring)... then the company Mark worked for went out of business... then I became high-risk and couldn't work... Somehow, we're surviving though...
It always seems like whenever you think things are good enough to have more kids, fate laughs and says "Wanna bet?" Just remember that when you think your ready to try for baby #2, look at your situation and ask yourself "Can we still make everything work if one of us looses our job? or the car dies? etc." Chances are you can make it work no matter what, but you will at least have an idea of how things will be so it won't be as stressful when/if it hits you.
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:48 am
We were talking about what we would do if I got pregnant again right now (I was feeling nauseous and was paranoid). At the moment, Aden and I are living with my parents, and Richard is with his. Richard reassured me we'd make it work, even if it meant a second job for him. I'd hate that, but I know he'd do anything to keep us together. After all, that's how it went with Aden, so I have complete faith in him.
I dunno, though... I'm really having baby envy lately, even though Aden's just five months. This morning I was remembering what it was like to feel that silent baby kicking you. As much as I sometimes hated being preggo before, I can't wait to be again! Honestly, I'm thinking that as soon as we get into our own place and figure out how to make things work financially, I'll want to try again. I'll be young still, but at this point I guess it doesn't really matter.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 1:53 pm
My daughter is 1 year and 2 days older than my son. I like that my kids are close in age but it is tough juggling. I plan to wait a few years till the kids are older and can help more before having 1 or 2 more kids, unless God has other plans of course smile
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:42 am
Richard told me last night he wants to get snipped! He knows I want one more, but he wants it soon because he doesn't (and I quote) want to be at his kid's grad when he's 48. THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL. I'm frustrated. Hopefully I'll convince him not to get snipped anytime soon.
Cute sig, by the way, electricdecember!
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:20 am
I've heard that many doctors will not do a vasectomy until the man is 25, they also have this policy for tubal ligation for women. However, at least vasectomies can also be undone. I kinda want to have all my kids before I'm 30 as well. My mom had me when she was almost 40 and it was fine but my hubby and I both would rather be able to travel on our own and have the kids out of the house before we're too old to enjoy it ya know razz
Thanks on the sig comment, It's one of my own edits I did for fun smile
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:23 pm
Actually, tubal ligations can be undone as well.
There is actually a higher failure rate for tubals and they are more reversible than vasectomies. Many doctors have that policy, but there are exceptions and with finding a doctor can be done.
I know it can be heartbreaking whenever one party does not want to have sterilization procedures, but it makes it hard to see their views as well with that clouding. I can see both sides of that issue, to be honest. I would just sit down and talk about it and come back to the subject when things change. My husband is in the same boat, I'm torn, but I know worse comes to worse, there's adoption and not a bad option at all.
I found myself going through baby lust when my youngest was about 6 months old. Then it went away when he got mobile, and it comes and goes. I can be somewhat unreasonable when it hits to tell the truth! I hate I go through it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:45 pm
My first two are 13 months apart. We had not planned on a second and actually I'm still trying to figure out how she happened because in the time period she would have been concieved I underwent surgery to remove my gualbladder (had to be cut open rather than laperscopic).
I had originally decided to get sterilized after #2, changed my mind.
4 years down the road I actually get to decide "I want to have a baby", so we did. Baby #3 is 15 months old and baby #4 will be here in November.
I really wish I could have chose to have them all at about the same time period. My brother and I are about the same number of years apart that my oldest and youngest are, we are not very close. However perhaps things will be different.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:40 am
Richard is 26, so there's no worry about not being able to get one done. He's been saying since I met him that he was going to get one, but now of course, we have a kid already. I doubt it'll happen anytime soon. Secretly we all know he's a family man, and his sister and I both know he likes kids. So he says he doesn't want more, but I think he really does.
Aden is 6 months old in four days, and lately I've been looking longingly at the babies newer than him and remembering the days when he was little and didn't do much. And I can't wait to have another one! I think as soon as we get settled into our own place (hopefully later this month) we'll talk about trying for a second.
As for getting tubes tied, I'd never do that. You see, I'm only 19, so I don't know who I'll eventually settle down with, or when. As much as I'd love to stick with Richard, you never know. Things might not work with us, and I might end up marrying someone else who wants kids. If Richard really does want to get chopped, that's really his decision in the end. He's old enough to know if these are the only kids (or kid) he'll want. As for me, who knows.
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