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 Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:09 pm
[I do hope this is okay whee ]
After reading one of the books for my summer reading, I felt like bringing one of my dead fanfics back to life. But this time, I turned it into an original story. Good thing I had the names written down somewhere with a basic sketch of everything.
I've recently finished the Prologue, and I'd just like to hear opinions about it. If something reminds you a lot like something else, please do tell me. I don't want to be accused of plagiarism; I'd try to prevent that while I can.
Anyway, here it is:
__________________________________________________________
[ P R O L O G U E ]
Purple. Everything has a hue of purple. For the first time in years, the world turns purple.
The two suns appear in the skies of the planet. Both at the same time.
Something is about to happen. Something great is about to happen.
A flash of bright light. Someone’s coming. An old man appears above the bridge, floating in the sky. In his hands are two peculiar objects: a golden sphere on his left and a clear flask containing liquid on his right. All eyes are upon him, most especially the alchemists.
“This is the Philosopher’s Stone,” he announces, holding up the object on his left hand. “It can turn any metal into gold with just one sliver.” A pause. “And this is the Elixir of Life,” he holds up the object on his right hand. “It can cure any diseases with just one drop.”
Awe crossed the face of all those who are present. Surely, these will end all their problems about wealth and health.
“I shall give these to you to aid you in bringing peace to your land. Guard these well for this will maintain the balance in your land. Do not misuse them for it will bring great chaos.”
With that, he holds out his hands, and the objects fly to two separate mountains. The Stone disappears to the mountain in the west, and the Elixir disappears to the mountain in the east.
“Love and take great care of your land for it is one of the few lands blessed to have life.”
With that, the man disappears as the two suns pass each other. For the first time, the world is at peace. The ruling clans where the two mountains reside meet to discuss what they shall do to protect the two objects entrusted to them by the old man.
Twenty guardians are summoned by the two kings. Ten will guard the Stone in the west, and ten will guard the Elixir to the east. These guardians are a special type of druid; they are elementals and each have a companion, a sprite, which can aid them in individual battle. The sprites are the only ones that can revive them and channel their powers in time of need.
Furthermore, the kings agree that no one shall reside in the bridge. Since the old man has appeared above that area in terms of peace, the bridge shall remain a neutral land. Their own kingdoms, being the home of the magical objects, shall welcome every creature as well.
Peace reigns the land for generations.
The guardians have children, and their children have their own children. Eventually, the original guardians have passed away. With every generation, the guardians’ descendants live farther and farther away from the mountains in search of their own living. The farther they go from the mountain, the less they use their powers.
Soon, greedy, power-hungry beings coveted the objects. The mountains are being attacked day and night. Priests and guards are summoned to protect the objects in the mountains. The two kingdoms are becoming more hostile to each other, thinking that the other had ordered an attack to gain the object in their mountain.
Wars start to break out again.
A flash of bright light.
Something great is about to happen. Something is about to happen.
Both at the same time. The two suns appear in the skies of the planet.
For the first time in years, the world turns purple. Everything has a hue of purple. Purple.
___________________________________________________
Constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:14 pm
I like it. I can't think of anything that it reminds me of either, so you're on the right track! One thing I may have missed though, did they make use of the items, or just guard them? It may be answered later I guess, but I'm the curious type (TELL ME NOW!!!!!!! lol) Seriously though, keep up the good work.
Krum cool
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 3:43 am
Why thank you 3nodding
That's one for no reminder! SCORE!!! whee
Well, this is just a prologue. Everything else will come later. I'm just highly concerned with this.
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Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:04 pm
One thing I've learned from my limited writing experience. Don't worry! It completely blocks any creative thoughts you might have with a bunch of "what if"s. Just write what feels right, and keep doing it! Friends/Guildmates are there to be used, dump your stories on them for analysis, they'll be brutally honest, but that's what you need.
cool
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