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 Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:05 pm
Update-ish-iness: Well, he was online for a very long time on both MSN and Gaia. I started talking to him and he went quiet. It still showed he was active though on both MSN and Gaia. Then it said he was away, then off. I just send him a pm basically saying "I'm tired of this s**t . . . if you have something to admit, then just say it so I can get over it and move on . . . if nothing is going on then what's your problem with not talking to me, but apparently being active to others" and so on. I really am tired of it. I'm tired of feeling crazy and stuff . . . I wrote a lot, but that was the general flow of the pm. I really don;t care if I sound bitchy for what I wrote, but I'm tired of all this happening and I just want I to be over with.
Okay, in another thread in this guild, I talked about a guy that I had feelings for. Well, I said that those feelings had lessened, but I still cared for him. We had talked since and like always he claims he still loves ame and wants me and so on. I finally figured out why I had lost feelings fo rhim. I was scred, plain and simple. He had been showing signs of cheating or atleast being up to no good so I had distanced myself from him to protect myself.
I have talked to him about it and he keeps insisting he is not with anyone else, but what he does somtimes makes me think different. He may not actually be with anyone in terms od dating or sex, but he is just acting . . . off, if you know what I mean.
I know he is having trouble with getting jobs and a place to stay and a comp to us. So do I, but I try my best to stay in contact. It just feels like and seems like I'm the only one.
What I have noticed that makes me think this way (I live in Texas, he lives in Scotland, btw):
1) I have blow all kinds of money on calling cards. Whenever I call his cell, he never answers. The only time he does is when we have talked on line and he asks me to call him or I ask and he okays it. he has no problem answering it then . . .
2) He tells me all he has in terms of im is MSN, so we only talk on that and gaia. Sometimes he will:
-Log off as soon as I get on, but log back on as soon as I'm "away" or "offline".
-I'm always the one to start convos first. He won't talk to me first.
-He will be "brb", "away", or even "offline" on MSN but be active on Gaia. By active I mean pm'ing or posting.
3) When I met him he was GoldenDav SD here on gaia. They he stopped using it for whatever reason (I forget) and made a new one called Aslan Godstrike. He started using GoldnDav SD again without telling me, I just happened to notice one day, but he insists he told me. He also mad a mule called Random_Moogle that he never told me about, and he told me not the add it to my friendlist . . . That makes me wonder why and how many other accounts he might have.
4) He tells me he loves me and misses me and wants me and so on, but I'm the one to start 90% of connections (im's, pm's, calls, ect). It's extremely rare he will make the effort.
5) When we have an argument or a problem, he always leaves at the worst time. He makes excuses to leave but stays on gaia or comes back on 10-30 mins later and acts like it was nothing or not that big of a deal. I say leave at the worsy time becuase he seems to leave right when we are at a point to move past it and fix it, or work on it.
I really wish it was just be being paranoid or crazy, but the eveidence speaks for itself! I wish it was all just coincedence, but that's too much to happen all the time like that and it is getting very predictable with him.
What would you think if someone you cared about (friends, family, gf, bf, ect.) was doing these things to you? Do you think I'm just being paranoid or is there something up?
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:19 pm
Generally, a woman's intuition is a scary thing. Men are denser than lead, but when a woman has the feeling that something's up, no matter who little it may be, she's usually right.
The guy sounds like a classic OLR creep. Ask yourself if you've ever met him online. If the answer is no, then he sounds like a guy who enjoys "playing the OLR game." Basically, he likes the thought of someone caring for him, but he doesn't want to actually put forth any effort. It's a lot easier to simply say "I love you" than to pay a hefty phone bill. In other words, he's taking advantage of you.
Now, the main problem with this besides the fact that his feelings aren't fully real, is that he'll keep you around as long as you're interesting to him. As soon as it starts getting a little dull, he'll start a new relationship. This is probably where his mules come in.
So, congratulations to you for thinking something's up. The sad part is this guy isn't worth your time.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:25 pm
Soleq Generally, a woman's intuition is a scary thing. Men are denser than lead, but when a woman has the feeling that something's up, no matter who little it may be, she's usually right. The guy sounds like a classic OLR creep. Ask yourself if you've ever met him online. If the answer is no, then he sounds like a guy who enjoys "playing the OLR game." Basically, he likes the thought of someone caring for him, but he doesn't want to actually put forth any effort. It's a lot easier to simply say "I love you" than to pay a hefty phone bill. In other words, he's taking advantage of you. Now, the main problem with this besides the fact that his feelings aren't fully real, is that he'll keep you around as long as you're interesting to him. As soon as it starts getting a little dull, he'll start a new relationship. This is probably where his mules come in. So, congratulations to you for thinking something's up. The sad part is this guy isn't worth your time. Damn woman's intuition! *shakes fist at nothing in preticular* *sighs* Yeah, that was one of the things I thought of as well as him just having someone else or going after someone else . . .
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:33 pm
Hey, I'd give my left nut for a woman's intution. I too suffer from Male's Intuition (TM), commonly known as Blockhead's Syndrome.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:41 pm
Soleq Hey, I'd give my left nut for a woman's intution. I too suffer from Male's Intuition (TM), commonly known as Blockhead's Syndrome. lol! Sorry, that left nut comment made me laugh becuase it reminded me of something Denis Leary said: "I bet my left maple nut crunch that it's not!" He was talking about coffee flavors on his No Cure For Cancer special. Anyways, woman's intuition can be good, but also suck. You would "know" something about something, but no one would believe you until it happened. It can be frustrating.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:48 pm
Soleq Hey, I'd give my left nut for a woman's intution. I too suffer from Male's Intuition (TM), commonly known as Blockhead's Syndrome.
Honey if he isn't putting any effort into it or giving you what you need from him then don't bother. There is no need to waste your time with someone who can't be bothered to try. Actions speak louder then words and his are talking clearly.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:56 pm
It sounds like he doesn't want to be around if he he's doing all that. The biggest thing is when he uses other accounts without telling you and logging off when you're on and such. Sounds like he's trying to ignore you and then when he gets needy or something he wants you to forfill that for him. I might not be right though.
I think you should talk it over with him to see what he thinks about all of it. Tell him what you think about it and how it's making you feel and you might get a positive answer from it. I definitely think you should talk about it right away because if you don't it's only going to cause more insecurities and your trust level with him will keep going down.
Oh and to answer your first statements. Just because of those examples it doesn't really sound like he's with someone. There's always a possibility of it but he could just be a busy person.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 3:37 pm
The problem is that I already have talked to him a few times. He is current;y on MSN and Gaia, but he hasn't talked to me for a quiet a while, even though I started the convo with him . . .
He swears there is no one else. He never said he wasn't looking though. He keeps saying when he is "busy" or "offline" that his mom or sis is using the comp, but he is still active on gaia. A few times he was at a net cafe and he wuld say his time is up and that it's too expensive and such, but he would be on again in 60 mins or less. If he doesn;t have a job, or just started on as he claims, then how can he afford it if it is so expensive? Unless he is not where he says he is . . .
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 3:55 pm
Dominic_Deegan The problem is that I already have talked to him a few times. He is current;y on MSN and Gaia, but he hasn't talked to me for a quiet a while, even though I started the convo with him . . . He swears there is no one else. He never said he wasn't looking though. He keeps saying when he is "busy" or "offline" that his mom or sis is using the comp, but he is still active on gaia. A few times he was at a net cafe and he wuld say his time is up and that it's too expensive and such, but he would be on again in 60 mins or less. If he doesn;t have a job, or just started on as he claims, then how can he afford it if it is so expensive? Unless he is not where he says he is . . .
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 5:16 pm
Dominic_Deegan
Update-ish-iness: Well, he was online for a very long time on both MSN and Gaia. I started talking to him and he went quiet. It still showed he was active though on both MSN and Gaia. Then it said he was away, then off. I just send him a pm basically saying "I'm tired of this s**t . . . if you have something to admit, then just say it so I can get over it and move on . . . if nothing is going on then what's your problem with not talking to me, but apparently being active to others" and so on. I really am tired of it. I'm tired of feeling crazy and stuff . . . I wrote a lot, but that was the general flow of the pm. I really don;t care if I sound bitchy for what I wrote, but I'm tired of all this happening and I just want I to be over with.
Okay, in another thread in this guild, I talked about a guy that I had feelings for. Well, I said that those feelings had lessened, but I still cared for him. We had talked since and like always he claims he still loves ame and wants me and so on. I finally figured out why I had lost feelings fo rhim. I was scred, plain and simple. He had been showing signs of cheating or atleast being up to no good so I had distanced myself from him to protect myself.
I have talked to him about it and he keeps insisting he is not with anyone else, but what he does somtimes makes me think different. He may not actually be with anyone in terms od dating or sex, but he is just acting . . . off, if you know what I mean.
I know he is having trouble with getting jobs and a place to stay and a comp to us. So do I, but I try my best to stay in contact. It just feels like and seems like I'm the only one.
What I have noticed that makes me think this way (I live in Texas, he lives in Scotland, btw):
1) I have blow all kinds of money on calling cards. Whenever I call his cell, he never answers. The only time he does is when we have talked on line and he asks me to call him or I ask and he okays it. he has no problem answering it then . . .
2) He tells me all he has in terms of im is MSN, so we only talk on that and gaia. Sometimes he will:
-Log off as soon as I get on, but log back on as soon as I'm "away" or "offline".
-I'm always the one to start convos first. He won't talk to me first.
-He will be "brb", "away", or even "offline" on MSN but be active on Gaia. By active I mean pm'ing or posting.
3) When I met him he was GoldenDav SD here on gaia. They he stopped using it for whatever reason (I forget) and made a new one called Aslan Godstrike. He started using GoldnDav SD again without telling me, I just happened to notice one day, but he insists he told me. He also mad a mule called Random_Moogle that he never told me about, and he told me not the add it to my friendlist . . . That makes me wonder why and how many other accounts he might have.
4) He tells me he loves me and misses me and wants me and so on, but I'm the one to start 90% of connections (im's, pm's, calls, ect). It's extremely rare he will make the effort.
5) When we have an argument or a problem, he always leaves at the worst time. He makes excuses to leave but stays on gaia or comes back on 10-30 mins later and acts like it was nothing or not that big of a deal. I say leave at the worsy time becuase he seems to leave right when we are at a point to move past it and fix it, or work on it.
I really wish it was just be being paranoid or crazy, but the eveidence speaks for itself! I wish it was all just coincedence, but that's too much to happen all the time like that and it is getting very predictable with him.
What would you think if someone you cared about (friends, family, gf, bf, ect.) was doing these things to you? Do you think I'm just being paranoid or is there something up? Holy s**t you kinda sound like me... I want to hug you alot now.. :/ I think you need to forget those who you feel have legitimately and authentically made you feel less than what you are. You should definitely calm down, though... Being so intense and rash will only cause confusion in what is really causing you trouble or not; sometimes when we are really intense in a situation, our judgement is unclear, and we tend to stutter and stumble even worse, and in turn, feel like failures. Just relax.. Honestly and Deeply. Then ask yourself, as if in the viewpoint of a listener, and decide what action you need to take to make these situations any better. Hope that makes sense and assists you...... heart [im kinda sickie at the moment, so i hope that made sense...>_<]
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:25 pm
Mavole Dominic_Deegan
Update-ish-iness: Well, he was online for a very long time on both MSN and Gaia. I started talking to him and he went quiet. It still showed he was active though on both MSN and Gaia. Then it said he was away, then off. I just send him a pm basically saying "I'm tired of this s**t . . . if you have something to admit, then just say it so I can get over it and move on . . . if nothing is going on then what's your problem with not talking to me, but apparently being active to others" and so on. I really am tired of it. I'm tired of feeling crazy and stuff . . . I wrote a lot, but that was the general flow of the pm. I really don;t care if I sound bitchy for what I wrote, but I'm tired of all this happening and I just want I to be over with.
Okay, in another thread in this guild, I talked about a guy that I had feelings for. Well, I said that those feelings had lessened, but I still cared for him. We had talked since and like always he claims he still loves ame and wants me and so on. I finally figured out why I had lost feelings fo rhim. I was scred, plain and simple. He had been showing signs of cheating or atleast being up to no good so I had distanced myself from him to protect myself.
I have talked to him about it and he keeps insisting he is not with anyone else, but what he does somtimes makes me think different. He may not actually be with anyone in terms od dating or sex, but he is just acting . . . off, if you know what I mean.
I know he is having trouble with getting jobs and a place to stay and a comp to us. So do I, but I try my best to stay in contact. It just feels like and seems like I'm the only one.
What I have noticed that makes me think this way (I live in Texas, he lives in Scotland, btw):
1) I have blow all kinds of money on calling cards. Whenever I call his cell, he never answers. The only time he does is when we have talked on line and he asks me to call him or I ask and he okays it. he has no problem answering it then . . .
2) He tells me all he has in terms of im is MSN, so we only talk on that and gaia. Sometimes he will:
-Log off as soon as I get on, but log back on as soon as I'm "away" or "offline".
-I'm always the one to start convos first. He won't talk to me first.
-He will be "brb", "away", or even "offline" on MSN but be active on Gaia. By active I mean pm'ing or posting.
3) When I met him he was GoldenDav SD here on gaia. They he stopped using it for whatever reason (I forget) and made a new one called Aslan Godstrike. He started using GoldnDav SD again without telling me, I just happened to notice one day, but he insists he told me. He also mad a mule called Random_Moogle that he never told me about, and he told me not the add it to my friendlist . . . That makes me wonder why and how many other accounts he might have.
4) He tells me he loves me and misses me and wants me and so on, but I'm the one to start 90% of connections (im's, pm's, calls, ect). It's extremely rare he will make the effort.
5) When we have an argument or a problem, he always leaves at the worst time. He makes excuses to leave but stays on gaia or comes back on 10-30 mins later and acts like it was nothing or not that big of a deal. I say leave at the worsy time becuase he seems to leave right when we are at a point to move past it and fix it, or work on it.
I really wish it was just be being paranoid or crazy, but the eveidence speaks for itself! I wish it was all just coincedence, but that's too much to happen all the time like that and it is getting very predictable with him.
What would you think if someone you cared about (friends, family, gf, bf, ect.) was doing these things to you? Do you think I'm just being paranoid or is there something up? Holy s**t you kinda sound like me... I want to hug you alot now.. :/ I think you need to forget those who you feel have legitimately and authentically made you feel less than what you are. You should definitely calm down, though... Being so intense and rash will only cause confusion in what is really causing you trouble or not; sometimes when we are really intense in a situation, our judgement is unclear, and we tend to stutter and stumble even worse, and in turn, feel like failures. Just relax.. Honestly and Deeply. Then ask yourself, as if in the viewpoint of a listener, and decide what action you need to take to make these situations any better. Hope that makes sense and assists you...... heart [im kinda sickie at the moment, so i hope that made sense...>_<] lol, it does make sense. yeah, huggles and cuddles and just some good tlc would be great right now @.@;; . . . Anyways, I have been pretty calm despite the cussing. I'm just frustrated over what has been happening. Even when I wrote him that pm, I took my time and even re-read it several times as I wrote it and even afterwards. I like to take my time with that to make sure I get across what I;m thinking and feeling so they understand and can give a better reponse. of course, if he is hiding something, he will still give a shitty response, lol!
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:55 pm
Soleq Generally, a woman's intuition is a scary thing. Men are denser than lead, but when a woman has the feeling that something's up, no matter who little it may be, she's usually right. The guy sounds like a classic OLR creep. Ask yourself if you've ever met him online. If the answer is no, then he sounds like a guy who enjoys "playing the OLR game." Basically, he likes the thought of someone caring for him, but he doesn't want to actually put forth any effort. It's a lot easier to simply say "I love you" than to pay a hefty phone bill. In other words, he's taking advantage of you. Now, the main problem with this besides the fact that his feelings aren't fully real, is that he'll keep you around as long as you're interesting to him. As soon as it starts getting a little dull, he'll start a new relationship. This is probably where his mules come in. So, congratulations to you for thinking something's up. The sad part is this guy isn't worth your time. I couldn't agree more. Sad thing is, I know tons of guys that have online relationships that do this. They're usually too inept to get a girlfriend "in real life" and so they find multiple internet girlfriends to keep them satisfied. The thing I would wonder is if this guy is already in a relationship with someone in real life, and so his avoiding you is if this other girl is around when you message him, call him, etc. I don't know... sounds like a friend of mine who had a thing for this woman he met online. She came out to visit him and everything, and then a few months after that he called her house and her husband of 15 years picked up the phone... it was not pretty. While I've had several relationships over the internet myself (granted, when I was 13, 14... so 7+ years ago), I don't recommend them to anybody. I've known too many people who got into a relationship with someone who wasn't who they claimed to be, at all. The internet is a funny thing. You can pretend to be something you're not, and people may never find out the truth. You're better off without him. Besides, there's 3.5 billion other men out there. wink
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:02 pm
Reivena Soleq Generally, a woman's intuition is a scary thing. Men are denser than lead, but when a woman has the feeling that something's up, no matter who little it may be, she's usually right. The guy sounds like a classic OLR creep. Ask yourself if you've ever met him online. If the answer is no, then he sounds like a guy who enjoys "playing the OLR game." Basically, he likes the thought of someone caring for him, but he doesn't want to actually put forth any effort. It's a lot easier to simply say "I love you" than to pay a hefty phone bill. In other words, he's taking advantage of you. Now, the main problem with this besides the fact that his feelings aren't fully real, is that he'll keep you around as long as you're interesting to him. As soon as it starts getting a little dull, he'll start a new relationship. This is probably where his mules come in. So, congratulations to you for thinking something's up. The sad part is this guy isn't worth your time. I couldn't agree more. Sad thing is, I know tons of guys that have online relationships that do this. They're usually too inept to get a girlfriend "in real life" and so they find multiple internet girlfriends to keep them satisfied. The thing I would wonder is if this guy is already in a relationship with someone in real life, and so his avoiding you is if this other girl is around when you message him, call him, etc. I don't know... sounds like a friend of mine who had a thing for this woman he met online. She came out to visit him and everything, and then a few months after that he called her house and her husband of 15 years picked up the phone... it was not pretty. While I've had several relationships over the internet myself (granted, when I was 13, 14... so 7+ years ago), I don't recommend them to anybody. I've known too many people who got into a relationship with someone who wasn't who they claimed to be, at all. The internet is a funny thing. You can pretend to be something you're not, and people may never find out the truth. You're better off without him. Besides, there's 3.5 billion other men out there. wink No. 3.5 bil MALES. Of those, well more than a billion in itself are small children and old men. And then you have to eliminate gay or asexual men. I think you would be lucky to have 500 million eligible men for a relationship, and you can just keep whittling this hypothetical number down to nothing by taking out men that wouldn't get involved in a relationship, or just wouldn't like you, or wouldn't work out in the long-run. I think too much. sad
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:05 pm
Thomas Neo Anderson No. 3.5 bil MALES. Of those, well more than a billion in itself are small children and old men. And then you have to eliminate gay or asexual men. I think you would be lucky to have 500 million eligible men for a relationship, and you can just keep whittling this hypothetical number down to nothing by taking out men that wouldn't get involved in a relationship, or just wouldn't like you, or wouldn't work out in the long-run. I think too much. sad Well, or it's like one of my friends always says... "All of the good men are either taken, married, or gay." wink
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:27 pm
Reivena Thomas Neo Anderson No. 3.5 bil MALES. Of those, well more than a billion in itself are small children and old men. And then you have to eliminate gay or asexual men. I think you would be lucky to have 500 million eligible men for a relationship, and you can just keep whittling this hypothetical number down to nothing by taking out men that wouldn't get involved in a relationship, or just wouldn't like you, or wouldn't work out in the long-run. I think too much. sad Well, or it's like one of my friends always says... "All of the good men are either taken, married, or gay." wink I like to think of myself as a good guy, and I couldn't get a relationship to save my life. I think it's that girls just aren't looking in the right places. I've had 8 failed relationships/psuedo-relationships/bigcrushes for one reason or another. Honestly, it seems like that saying holds true for nice guys as well. I mean, I'm solidly convince that my 'perfect' girl is either dead, a lesbian, or is Psychic and has already broken up with me. People just aren't looking in the right places
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