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Carp is a funny word.


I swear there was a reasonable train of thought that lead me to this topic, but I can assure you that it will not make since to you, so I shall not bore you with the details.


Carp are funny people... and not funny in the "oh, that's amusing" why, but funny in the "you smell bad" kind of way.

I'm not saying fish smell bad (even though they do)
So, I guess I am saying they smell bad... But not as bad a carp.

Do they even use showers? I highly doubt it. I think they have opposable thumbs, though, so they should be able to work the shower, if they had the capabilties and brain capacity for higher reasoning.

But remember, kids, don't bring water to campus.


It's Gillagan!!!

Of course carp have opposable thumbs. How else would they wield their deafening weapons of utter doom and dismay? How else would they filch iPods with such deft precision? How else would they grip the handle to open the door to our domain?
Carp are a tricky bunch.
They must have an aversion to water. Surely you have seen the untamable mop atop their head which they attempt to pass of as hair.
Of course carp have opposable thumbs. They use their thumbs to convince other animals that they are better, more evolved. But we must remember that these creatures are lower than the lowliest domesticated pet. Besides, there's no way that carp could ever become domesticated, not with their indelible hatred of authority.

Also, I have reason to believe that many carp have an unfounded obsession with Linkin Park... or maybe Avril Lavine. (or however you spell her name)

I am gladdened to know that you are on our side. We need more numbers, seeing as how quickly and shamelessly carp seem to reproduce.

Indeed.
Yea, but bunnies be not pests. Bunnies are sweet and innocent and wield not deafening weapons of utter doom and dismay. Bunnies know no evil beyond what were normal. The foul carp, however, taint all with their evil ways.

(And carp cause Roisu to speak with an odd vernacular. I know not why.)

Hmmm... perhaps. But what if carp, in their intense stupidity, only learned the bad traits of the beloved bunnies.
For, there certainly are a few negatives to bunnies. But there are so few that we overlook them, whereas carp have little to no redeeming qualities.