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Pyromaniacal Wave Captain
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 Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:00 pm
The whole point of this thread is to trigger laughs.
Whether it be a political joke, blonde joke, humorous ancedote, innuendo or even of the infamous knock knock joke family it's welcome here!
Joke away!
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:10 pm
What do you call a native American after they graduate from doctors school?
A doctor you damn racist.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:16 pm
A guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"
HAHA, it's a classic. xd
Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One of them falls over, and the other asks him, "Hey, are you okay?"
He says, "Yeah, I'm fine, but I think I lost an electron."
The other atom asks, "Are you sure?"
He says, "Yes, I'm positive!"
Learned that in science class last year XD I found it absolutely hilarious. Everyone else was so NOT amused.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:19 pm
Korikuu A guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" HAHA, it's a classic. xd Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One of them falls over, and the other asks him, "Hey, are you okay?" He says, "Yeah, I'm fine, but I think I lost an electron." The other atom asks, "Are you sure?" He says, "Yes, I'm positive!" Learned that in science class last year XD I found it absolutely hilarious. Everyone else was so NOT amused. The first joke I thought you'd left incomplete at first. I was thinking, okay he walks into the bar and says ouch.. did he stub his toe or soemthing? AND THEN the light dawned razz
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Pyromaniacal Wave Captain
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:21 pm
xd @ Kristy.
A penguin, a space alien, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:40 pm
This thread's going to die fast : D
Lol
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:45 pm
That, Todd, is why I am only posting one or two jokes at a time.
How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?
...
Give them a sheet of paper with "Flip this over" written on both sides.
Why was the blonde staring at the carton of orange juice?
...
It said 'Concentrate.'
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:46 pm
Korikuu That, Todd, is why I am only posting one or two jokes at a time. How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? ... Give them a sheet of paper with "Flip this over" written on both sides. Why was the blonde staring at the carton of orange juice? ... It said 'Concentrate.' : O Have you adopted this thread as your baby in which you will keep alive forever? Ignore my boredom.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:53 pm
Tood Korikuu That, Todd, is why I am only posting one or two jokes at a time. How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? ... Give them a sheet of paper with "Flip this over" written on both sides. Why was the blonde staring at the carton of orange juice? ... It said 'Concentrate.' : O Have you adopted this thread as your baby in which you will keep alive forever? Ignore my boredom. Yes, Todd, this thread is my baby. It was birthed from my womb and I shall love and cherish it always. You're the father.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:25 pm
Korikuu Tood Korikuu That, Todd, is why I am only posting one or two jokes at a time. How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? ... Give them a sheet of paper with "Flip this over" written on both sides. Why was the blonde staring at the carton of orange juice? ... It said 'Concentrate.' : O Have you adopted this thread as your baby in which you will keep alive forever? Ignore my boredom. Yes, Todd, this thread is my baby. It was birthed from my womb and I shall love and cherish it always. You're the father. Nuh uh! I would've been a surrogate at the very least! *steals baby back* I shall contribute jokes eventually. I'm just too lazy to bother with them at the moment.
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Pyromaniacal Wave Captain
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:50 pm
A blonde girl walks into the emergency room with her finger shot off. When the nurse asked what had happened, she said she tried to committ suicide.
"You tried to commit suicide by blowing off your finger?"
The blonde retold her story.
"Well, I wanted to die, so I went to shoot myself in my mouth. But then I remembered I just payed $3,000 to get my teeth straightened, so I went to shoot myself in the chest. Then I remembered I paid $2,000 to get my boobs to look like Britney Spears'. I put it up to my ear, but thought it might be loud so I put my other finger in the ear opposite the gun."
Get it? xd
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:44 am
Continuing the blond joke theme:
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school.
"Mommy, Mommy," She yelled,
"we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."
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Shadow of an Illusion Crew
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 7:25 am
XD Lol, nice ones, Cassie and Aisa.
Three girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, were running from the police when they stumbled upon a farm. Quickly, they all ran to hide in different places. The redhead hid in a horse's stall, the brunette hid in the hay loft, and the blonde hid in a potato sack.
Minutes later, the police came running in, and began to search for the three girls. They went over to the horse stall, and were about to look inside, when the redheaded girl said, "Neigh, neigh!"
"Oh, there's nothing in here but a horse," the police said.
Then they went to look in the hay loft, but as they were about to climb up, the brunette said, "Meow, meow!"
"Oh, there's nothing up there but a cat," the police said.
Next, they decided to search through all the potato sacks. The blonde knew she was about to be discovered; she had to do something to save herself. "Potato, potato!"
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:42 pm
Hah, I shall be totally geeky and do maths jokes. So you at the jokes and me (well maybe just me).
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction
Four friends have been doing really well in their calculus class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though the exam is scheduled for Monday morning. As it happens, they drink too much at the party, and on Monday morning, they are all hung over and oversleep. When they finally arrive on campus, the exam is already over.
They go to the professor's office and offer him an explanation: "We went to our friend's birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we were driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help."
The professor nods sympathetically and says: "I see that it was not your fault. I will allow you to make up for the missed exam tomorrow morning."
When they arrive early on Tuesday morning, the students are put by the professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far apart from each other that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam booklets are already in place, and confidently, the students start writing.
The first question - five points out of one hundred - is a simple exercise in integration, and all four finish it within ten minutes.
When the first of them has completed the problem, he turns over the page of the exam booklet and reads on the next one:
Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?
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Shadow of an Illusion Crew
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Psycho Maniac Bubble Crew
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:48 pm
Funny jokes. XD
I shall contribute later, when I actually remember some that none of you have posted. =P
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