|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:53 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:56 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:58 am
Typoglycemia
Don't delete this because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can
read it
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to
rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia
> smile -
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:00 pm
True Friend
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her
forever....
and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he
cry,
and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears
streaming down
her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to
be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
This is only the first part I thought it was really sweet 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:01 pm
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of
celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies,
and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the
eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much
he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting
much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man
and was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in
the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
If this made you smile for even a brief second, please take time to
pass it on and share that smile with someone else that kneads it
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:02 pm
MessageSIGNS THAT LEAD TO MISUNDERSTANDING
In a restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In another office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:03 pm
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their as s to search the entire room for
the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel
manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their as s!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I aid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there
has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must
have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn
thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumas s?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:11 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:12 pm
Those are the ones that I think are pretty funny/cool/good enough to show everyone forwards I got....well the ones that dont' have pictures anyways...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:20 pm
Fifteen things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time shopping:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. (the older the more interesting)
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
( And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Any misspellings and grammar errors are not from me; I copied and pasted the e-mail. sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:37 pm
xd
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. (the older the more interesting)
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
These are my favorites xd Some of the others I sort of dont' understand xd
-sigh- #15...A classic...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:26 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:18 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:44 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 12:35 pm
architect_eyes Fifteen things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time shopping: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. (the older the more interesting) 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" ( And; last, but not least!) 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" Any misspellings and grammar errors are not from me; I copied and pasted the e-mail. sweatdrop One other very good one is to go to the shampoo and unscrew all the tops and just lay them in place. twisted
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
